| Subject: humorous |
Author:
xander
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Date Posted: 09:52:10 06/23/03 Mon
my dad just sent me one of the funniest emails i've ever gotten. it reads:
The following is an actual question given on a
University of Washington Chemistry mid term. The
answer by one student was "so profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
> > > Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
> > > endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote
> > > proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools
> > > off when it expands and heats when it is compressed).
> > >
> > > One student wrote the following answer:
> > >
> > > First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
> > > changing in time. So we need to know the rate that
> > > souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are
> > > leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
> > > soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no
> > > souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering
> > > Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist
> > > in the world today. Some of these religions state that
> > > if you are not a member of their religion, you will go
> > > to Hell. Since there are more than one of these
> > > religions and since people do not belong to more than
> > > one religion, we can project that all souls go to
> > > Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can
> > > expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
> > > exponentially.
> > >
> > > Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
> > > Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
> > > temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
> > > volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls
> > > are added.
> > >
> > > This gives two possibilities:
> > > 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
> > > at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and
> > > pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks
> > > loose.
> > > 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
> > > increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
> > > pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
> > > So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that: "it will be a cold day
in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into
account the fact that I still have not succeeded in
having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
The student received the only "A" given.
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