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Date Posted: 06:30:17 11/21/01 Wed
Author: 分
Subject: Re: 憐多位朋友失戀
In reply to: 晴明 's message, "憐多位朋友失戀" on 10:55:43 10/27/01 Sat


>孤影空階漫綠苔，荒池斷藕冷亭臺。
>秋風十月何如此，負約聲如宿雨來。

晴明兄此詩甚佳，尤擅比興，信必經精嚴創作。余甚喜愛。
拙見以為，惟一字尚可推敲。如“漫”換作“黯”字作詩眼，則更情有抑注，字不虛用。兄以為如何？冒昧之言，請恕罪。

註﹕唐˙李華˙弔古戰場文：黯兮慘悴，風悲日曛。宋˙柳永˙玉蝴蝶˙望處雨收雲斷詞：黯相望，斷鴻聲裡，立盡斜陽。

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Replies:

  • Re: 憐多位朋友失戀 -- chan, 06:31:37 11/21/01 Wed
  • Re: 憐多位朋友失戀 -- 晴明, 07:19:54 11/24/01 Sat
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