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Date Posted: 07:23:17 01/03/05 Mon
Author: Philip James
Author Host/IP: NoHost / 81.171.147.147
Subject: New Years Resolutions

Many thanks to all for coming along to Frog on new years; we all managed to greatly enjoy ourselves on a night famed more for its anti-climactic feel than anything else.
Anyway, tearing ourselves away from festive television treats, we have resolved to be brilliant this year. No more slouching in the peasant huts with anti-climax and apathy our coyote ugly bedpartners. No, we decide to amass our forces, plan a complex strategy, sharpen the knives, concoct poison in our arrows, and stealthily advance to the dark castle under cover of night. Laying down a bridge over the dangerous moat waters we shall press on, attacking the portcullis with force and cunning, perhaps sending a few stroths over the upper castle walls to infiltrate the living quarters of the princes and princesses. Once inside, we are faced, Knightmare-style, with armed evil goblins and elves, hopping up and down in surprise, for which they are bribed with cheese, and a scroll of a treasure map which leads them absolutely nowhere. Slaying the guards with our swords, we spread our forces out to anticipate the counter tactics of the armies within. Taking few casualties, the King offers one-on-one combat as a last stand. Bravely, our finest swordsman steps forward as a crowd gathers around expectedly. The battle is fierce and well-contested, but without the help of his allies around him, our swordsman beats down the king, forcing his blade between the monarch's chest and nailing him to the buffet table laid out before him. The banquet is offered to all the kingdom as revolution dawns upon all those who had lost hope over their barren forgotten years. Unfortunately, between the king and his death table lay a fine plump pheasant, so that is off the menu, covered in royal blood, but everyone seems happy with the other meats and poultry available. Minstrels and troubadours enliven the party atmosphere, playing an eclectic collection of hits from the 1980s, the highlight being Simply the Best, by Tina Turner. Phil Collins is somehow present, and attempts to sing one of his tunes to those drunk and merry on life's honey, but is mysteriously struck in the heart with seven arrows at the same time, which appear to have come from all over the hall. The party continues.
Roll on 2005....

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Replies:

[> Re: New Years Resolutions -- ray, 11:25:38 01/03/05 Mon (ip06.foyle.adsl.gxn.net/195.147.204.134)

you lot have been playing Risk again haven't you?

I'll drink to all that anyway.

Especially the Minstrels...

Douglas??


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