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Date Posted: Saturday, January 14, 11:30:48am
Author: Nell
Subject: Again, depends (r)
In reply to: JayBee 's message, "Well... (r)" on Saturday, January 14, 10:55:06am

on what kind of promises or vows they made, or were understood to have been made. Because in some marriage ceremonies, love and honor are all caught up in sexual fidelty. Could someone be sexually faithful to someone they did not love and honor? Of course. All kinds of people manage that one. Does it matter? I suspect it does.

All that being said, *if* M and E had some sort of traditional, western, Christian ceremony (and they very well may not have, for all sorts of obvious reasons) in which sexual faithfullness was explicitly part of the promise - then yes, I think it would matter.

Because what the 'undercover spouse' would be saying is that, again, within the confines where they had the power to choose, they kept the promise that they made to the 'civilian' spouse.

Shades of grey again, right? But the point would be that where they could - they had done their best to honor the vows they made.

I guess, to me, that does matter.

Now - if no such vow was made, or even explicitly not made - then it is of course a different matter.

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