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Subject: Re: FUN THINGS TO READ Author: Mindy Hill [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 18:52:43 06/05/03 Thu In reply to: J 's message, "FUN THINGS TO READ" on 21:58:56 02/12/03 Wed > TO MY DEAR WIFE: > >   > > > During the >past year I have tried to make love to you 365 >times. >src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/ >062802fire_prv.gif" width=17 hbtype="em"> > > >   >   > I have succeeded 36 >times, which is an average of once every ten >days. >src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/033102/ >033102uu_1_prv.gif" width=15 hbtype="em"> > >   > > The following is a list >of why I did not succeed more often: > >   > > 54 times the sheets were >clean > > 17 times it was too late > > > 49 times you were too >tired >src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/033102/ >033102shamed_1_prv.gif" width=15 hbtype="em"> > > > 20 times it was too hot > > > 15 times you pretended to >be sleep >src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/ >062802sleep_prv.gif" width=33 hbtype="em"> > > 22 times you had a >headache >src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/ >062802beat_prv.gif" width=38 hbtype="em"> > > 17 times you were afraid >of waking the baby > > 16 times you said you >were too sore > > 12 times it was the wrong >time of the month >src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/033102/ >033102bad_1_prv.gif" width=29 hbtype="em"> > > > 19 times you had to get >up early > > 9 times you said weren't >in the mood > > 7 times you were >sunburned > > 6 times you were watching >the late show > > 5 times you didn't want >to mess up your new hairdo >height=22 >src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/033102/ >033102bigblink_1_prv.gif" width=22 >hbtype="em"> > > 3 times you said the >neighbors would hear us > > 9 times you said your >mother would hear us > >   > > Of the 36 times I >did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory >because: >src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/033102/ >033102talk_1_prv.gif" width=28 hbtype="em"> >   > 6 times you just laid >there > > 8 times you reminded me >there's a crack in the ceiling > > 4 times you told me to >hurry up and get it over with > > 7 times I had to wake you >and tell you I finished >src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/ >062802sleep_prv.gif" width=33 hbtype="em"> > > 1 time I was >afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move > > >   > > KEEP >READING....... > >   > > ================================================== >======== > >   > > TO MY DEAR >HUSBAND: > >   > > I think you have >things a little confused. Here are the reasons you >didn't get more than you did: > >   > > 5 times you came home >drunk and tried to screw the cat >height=20 >src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/ >062802drink_prv.gif" width=31 hbtype="em"> >id=hb_animation height=16 >src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/062802/ >062802puke_prv.gif" width=32 hbtype="em"> > > 36 times you did not come >home at all >src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/033102/ >033102bad_1_prv.gif" width=29 hbtype="em"> > > 21 times you didn't cum > > > 33 times you came too >soon > > 19 times you went soft >before you got in > > 38 times you worked too >late > > 10 times you got cramps >in your toes > > 29 times you had to get >up early to play golf > > 2 times you were in a >fight and someone kicked you in the balls  > > > 4 times you got it stuck >in your zipper > > 3 times you had a cold >and your nose was running > > 2 times you had a >splinter in your finger > > 20 times you lost the >notion after thinking about it all day > > 6 times you came in your >pajamas while reading a dirty book > > 98 times you were too >busy watching football, baseball, etc. on TV > >   > Of the times we >did get together: > >   > > The reason I laid still >was because you missed and were screwing the >sheets. >src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/033102/ >033102biguhm_1_prv.gif" width=22 hbtype="em"> > > > I wasn't talking about >the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you >prefer me on my back or kneeling?" >id=hb_animation height=15 >src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/033102/ >033102lips_1_prv.gif" width=15 >hbtype="em"> > > The time you felt me move >was because you farted >src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/033102/ >033102ass_1_prv.gif" width=25 hbtype="em"> and I was >trying to breathe. >src="http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/033102/ >033102scull_1_prv.gif" width=27 hbtype="em"> > > >   [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]