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Date Posted: 21:51:00 07/27/03 Sun
Author: Tim Koch (Mike's servant of no rewards)
Subject: Mike Hurley is God...just ask him...he'll tell you.

So I've finally had enough of Mike Hurley's antics...check out the letter I wrote Colleen...here it is in all it's glory.

Dear Colleen,
I, Tim Koch, have some bad news and a confession to make. On Fiday night, when I left the store, only FOUR Mt. Dew 12 packs were in the cooler door. (ALthough there were six in the cooler as "backstock") To my horror, this wasn't enough for the all-powerful Mike Hurley and his reign of benevolence between the hours of 10:30pm and 6:30 AM. I beg that you forgive my shortcomings, though I don't deserve such grace from you. (or Mike H)
As if my tear of sorrow and shame weren't punishment enough for my wrongdoings...I must confess that there is more. *note, at this point of the letter I have picture of me as a stick man crying...with a caption that reads "this is me with tears of sorrow...look at how sad I am"*
On Saturday night (7/26) I tried to make up for my blunder by staying late so that Sir Mike Hurley could find the appropriate tools to break into the Taco Bell Thermostat. Apparently this was not enough to please lord Hurley, for once Matt Rehani arrived, the complaints flowed forth like money from Kathy A's pocket to purchase lottery tickets.
Among my many offense was that of "not having stocked the cagarettes." To my defense I didn't see any cigarettes that needed to be stocked...seeing as how we don't have any, but perhaps if I had studied the magical arts as thoroughly as the wizard Mike Hurley, I could have conjured some up as he must be able to do.
For the last time I beg that you forgive me for lack of effort and my lack of wizardly studies.
A thousand pardons.
Sincerely apologetic.
Timothy "the no good slacker who deserves to be shot for his overnight inadaquecies" Koch

*Note, I then drew a picture of my stick figure self with 2 guns and a cannon and bow and arrow pointed at my face. Off the to side is a billboard with a list of crimes that are titled as such.
1.) Not enough Mt. Dew 12 packs
2.) Didn't stock invisible cigarettes
3.) Not turning off copying machine
4.) Not mopping bathroom floor. (even though it is Mike's overnight duty)

This entire picture is titled "Tim Faces Master Mike's Firing Squad"

Hope you enjoyed.
Later.
TK

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Replies:

[> Wow, Tim -- Mike Cypull, 08:48:00 07/28/03 Mon

Sarcasm runs rampant in that letter. A varitable sarcastic tour-de-force, if you will. I hope you get your point across.

Mike.


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[> Re: Mike Hurley is God...just ask him...he'll tell you. -- Matt, 19:27:29 07/28/03 Mon

Hilarious letter Tim. A great way for you to present your argument. Quite the biting commentary.


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[> Time for another M.A.S.P. crackdown! -- Mike Cypull, 16:18:01 07/29/03 Tue

M.A.S.P. or "Mikes Against Sacreligious Posts" is a non-profit organization led by Mike Cypull. Our mission is simple: Stop Sacreligious Postings on Content-Screened Message Boards.

To The Master of the Forum,

MASP is demanding an apologetic post and requested removal of "Mike Hurley is God.." posted at Steve's Forum on the 27th of July, 2003. We here at MASP feel that declaring Mike Hurley as God is sacreligious and in blatant debauchery of solid Christian morals and beliefs and we are very offended! We don't take jokes, at all, ever. Please remove Mr. Koch's post at once, before the American family structure is further undermined!

Thanks,

Mike Cypull
MASP President and Chief Residing Officer.


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[> To whom it may concern at the M.A.S.P: -- Master of the Forum, 19:55:36 07/29/03 Tue

This forum definately strives to provide a non-threating atmosphere to all it's readers and posters. Thus, this issue will be brought to commitee and then delt with promptly when said commitee reaches a decsion that is felt to reflect the wishes of the majority of users of this forum. We all appreciate your concern and your strive for excellence.

Thank you for your time,
Master of the forum


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