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Subject: Reverberations

Author:
Cassie

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Date Posted: 03:08:12 07/08/01 Sun
In reply to: Kyla/Cassie 's message, "Re: Speaking out of turn - Part 2" on 03:06:43 07/08/01 Sun

I'm feeling a little strange here, like I've done something wrong. Like I've been caught stealing cookies or something. It has something to do with being left out or leaving someone else out. This is a very noticeable thing for me, having been the left out one all my life by means of my governing sentimentalities. It also ties in with this subject, for me, because when we talk about someone to another person, we are, in effect, leaving them out. Perhaps this uncomfortable feeling is what you, Deidra, feel in your body when you are about to speak inappropriately.

I'm feeling uncomfortable because I started this private emailing with Kyla. Uncomfortable about how others might feel about it. This reminds me of when I was uncomfortable about being picked on in school, laughed at and disdained. Ashamed of being me.

And here's the real reason that I never attended the Mentor's Retreat. Fear that this feeling of shame would overtake me when in the company of the Confident People who are on Their way to becoming Mentors. People who are assertive and outgoing and self-assured tend to make me feel shy, introverted and ashamed. I'm embarrased to say this but it's true. I'm suspicious of this wonderful wise woman persona I've been exhibiting here lately. Yes, sometimes I am that, but mostly I'm just me.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: Reverberations	Kyla	05:55:59 07/08/01 Sun
Re: Reverberations -- Cassie, 08:20:41 07/08/01 Sun Re: Reverberations -- kyla, 16:05:26 07/08/01 Sun