Author:
Roger (okay now)
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Date Posted: 00:32:32 11/11/06 Sat
In reply to:
Danial Mahler
's message, "Work Place Bullies" on 18:57:11 05/10/06 Wed
>What bullies do
>‘I’d been with the company twelve years when my
>new director arrived.
>From day one she just didn’t like me. It started with
>her trying to win over
>people’s regard by embarrassing me at
>meetings.’
>Bullying is a deliberate attempt by a boss,
>colleague, Mary Shepherd, or
>ambitious junior to control and undermine you. It is
>not a one-off incident;
>bullying occurs continually over a period of many
>months. Your self-confidence
>becomes eroded. That can happen pretty fast.
>‘In front of my colleagues she’d say: “I have a
>problem with you, I
>can’t rely on you.” Privately, she’d hurl offensive
>verbal abuse at me.’
>The bully is likely to verbally mistreat you with
>accusations, admonitions
>and threats. You may be quietly mocked in front of
>colleagues, and subjected to
>explosive outbursts behind closed doors. You feel
>frightened, angry, ashamed and
>embarrassed.
>‘I began to hear of meetings that I wasn’t asked
>to attend. Emails
>relating to my work were circulated to everyone but
>me. Lame excuses were given
>and I didn’t know what to believe or who to
>trust.’
>The bully may exclude you from the information loop
>and threaten your
>professional standing. You become isolated and
>suspicious.
>‘She began to pile irrelevant work on my desk;
>the deadlines were
>impossible to meet.’
>The bully may attempt to wear you down with
>overwork and absurd expectations.
>You become overwrought, jittery, and overtired. You
>toss and turn all night,
>suffer from nightmares, and have trouble dragging
>yourself out of bed in the
>morning. Your stomach is in knots, you have frequent
>
>href="http://www.ivillage.co.uk/workcareer/workrights/h
>arass/articles/0,,210_164470,00.html#"
>style="border-bottom: medium double rgb(66, 66, 111);
>text-decoration: none; color: rgb(66, 66, 111);
>background-color: transparent; padding-bottom: 1px;"
>class="iAs">headaches,
>and lose your appetite.
>Cycorp
>
>href="http://www.ivillage.co.uk/workcareer/workrights/h
>arass/articles/0,,210_164470,00.html">Bullying at
>work
After reading the story that Danial related, I could just substitute my own name. The same incidents happened to me. In my case, my bully was a long time professional friend. A job became available in the organization he is in charge of. I thought this would be a good opportunity. Not true. The abuse began almost immediately. Verbal abuse. A fax machine, thrown in anger against the wall, almost hit me. Missed me by inches. In anger, my bully boss ripped the telephone lines out of the wall. A couple problem areas were apparent to me when I first arrived at this new job. I brought them to my bully boss' attention. The outcome...he rectified these problems that I had caused. Actually, these problems had existed long before I even became part of the staff.
The person I am referring to suffers from low self esteem and probably depression. This person is a compulsive gambler. Yearly business trips took the bully to Las Vegas...how convenient.
His wife is worse than he is. In fact, he may have become this way reacting to her. He may not even realize he is a bully. His personality may have been shaped this way as a defense to his wife. Well, they can live their miserable, obese lives together...I quit this job.
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