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Date Posted: 05:51:21 12/23/18 Sun
Author: Unhappy
Subject: Happy holidays


Starting tonight and lasting until Wednesday, I will join my siblings to visit family in Racine for the Christmas holiday.

While there we will have to help babysit and entertain three brats who scream, yell, and pull hair and pinch when they don't get there way while we stare at our grandfather with no teeth, watch an aunt pick her nose and then be bossed all day around the kitchen by our grandmother demanding to make sure we are off our asses to help with cooking and washing dishes as our father does his best to control his body odor and pretend that we don't notice our two cousins who pick their teeth at the Christmas dinner table, and then endure the mandatory weight check on the bathroom scale by our obsessive weight-minded sister-in-law as our brother farts his way to the bathroom after dinner and hear a cousin fight with another cousin over which chair is best to watch television and then listen to a uncle yell at everyone for peeking at our Christmas gifts as the cat climbs up the heavily-decorated Christmas tree because the dog is chasing it and smashing the wrapped gifts under the tree causing our brother-in-law to take off his belt and beat the hell out of the grandkids for not keeping the dog in the basement where it can chase the rats which did not try to sneak upstairs while we had Christmas dinner which makes our dad very happy as he has smelly feet and the rodents hate to smell them and our grandfather also picks up dropped food on the floor to eat as he hates to waste anything which is totally gross to see to say nothing of his smacking his false teeth which bother us while enjoying dinner that it is fit for the hogs out in the barn because no one can seem to cook at all. Oh well. Do you want to come on over and join us for Christmas dinner??

Merry Christmas to us. What about you?

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