3 Big Steps -- hvf

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Subject: 3 Big Steps

Author:
Nikie

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Date Posted: 23:48:32 03/10/04 Wed

These are just 3 of 10 steps to improve your life... as emailed by a friend:

1. Be Completely Honest with Yourself. Self-honesty is about taking full responsibility for ALL circumstances of your life. It means owning up to the fact that you are the creator of your life and that ultimately you are the only one who can change your life. When you are being totally self-honest, then you:
 Stop blaming others for your circumstances and start taking full responsibility for being the only one responsible for the circumstances of your life.
 Stop trying to defend why your life is the way it is and start thinking about how you would like your life to be.
 Stop making excuses and justifying your actions and start taking the time to find out why you are taking the actions that you are taking.
 Stop pretending to be who you are not and start being honest about who you are.
 Stop lying to yourself and start telling yourself the truth about who you are being and about why you are being that.
Self-honesty is the first and most important part of being all that you can be, for if you can't be honest with yourself, then you can't get to the truth of why you are not living the life of your dreams.

2. Mind Your Own Business. What others do is none of your concern or business. You have your life to live; they have their life to live. You are accountable only to yourself just as they are accountable only to themselves. It's not your responsibility or job to tell them what to do, to tell them how to do it or to judge them or criticize them for doing something for which you do not approve. When you are minding your own business, then you:
 Stop meddling in other people's business and start intervening in your own affairs.
 Stop telling others what they should or shouldn't do and start letting them make their own choices.
 Stop pushing against what others are doing and start paying attention to what you are doing and the outcome of those actions.
 Stop thinking it's your job to make other people's decisions for them and start paying attention to the results of the decisions that you are making.
 Stop gossiping about other people and start spending more time coming to know who they really are.
 Stop criticizing and judging what others are doing and start being more loving and accepting of others.
 Stop holding a grudge about something someone else has done and start being more forgiving and understanding.
 Stop laying a guilt trip on others because of their actions and start paying attention to the impact of your own actions.
 Stop interfering in other people's lives and start paying more attention to your own life.
When you stop minding others' business, then you will have more time to focus on your own life, which is necessary if you really want a better life.

3. Ignore Others Who Are Minding Your Business. This is the other side of number two above. When other people are sticking their noses into your business, telling you what to do, pressuring you into taking their advice or into making the decision that they want you to make, ignore them. Lots of people will think that they know what is best for you, but only you can know what is best for you.
Many well-meaning people will try to influence your actions, but remember that what they are telling you is the way they would do it, and since they are not privy to what's in your heart, they can never know whether that is what's best for you. When you are ignoring others, then you:
 Stop thinking that others know what's best for you and start remembering that you know what's best for yourself.
 Stop letting people tell you what to do and start deciding for yourself what you want to do.
 Stop allowing yourself to be manipulated by others and start making your own choices.
 Stop acting like a victim and start acting like a deliberate creator.
Learn to pay attention to how you are feeling while listening to others and learn to be a selective listener, picking and choosing who's advice feels "right" for you and discarding the rest. Learn how to know which friends to confide in and how to pick friends who will allow you the freedom to be yourself and to have your own experiences.

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