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Date Posted: 09:34:57 03/25/03 Tue
Author: Dr Doom
Subject: A Conscript, a President, and a Pot Noodle Company

The scene opens in the refectory area, which is considerably larger than any other or normal refectory ever seen, where Doom, Amara and Alexandra sit around a table, Doom on one side, the women on the other. A man in a black robe and cloak walks past with a tray full of food in his hands. Doom looks up from his rice pudding.

Doom : Who the bloody buggery was that?

The other two turn and look at the man. He attempts to hold the tray in one hand and stuff his face with the other. While bumping into everything.

Amara : Umm...

Alexandra : We found him while you were asleep. His name is Garrett.

Doom : Found?

Amara : He'd managed to sneak into the complex.

Doom : How?!

Amara : He won't tell us. He says he's good at stealing things, so he might be useful to us in the future. He said he'd tell us how he got in after we let him stay for a while.

Doom : I see. Well, it's amusing to see what happens while I go away for a few weeks. Picking up strays and being broken into... Hmmph!

Doom folds his arms and makes a point of not looking at Alex and Amara. They exchange glances.

Alex : He's not a stray as such... He's a... a...

Amara : Conscript.

Alex : Hmm, conscript. Yes.

Doom : Conscript, hmm? Why didn't you say so in the first place. I'll see to it that he is assigned duties immediately!

He looks at Amara.

Doom : Find him something to do!

Amara rolls her eyes. Alex attempts to change the subject.

Alex : So... who's the new president of RWF?

Doom : He'll be very useful! {followed by a "Mwuhahahaha"}

Alex : What?

Doom : What was his name again?

Alex : Who?

Doom : That conscript.

Alex : Garrett. Who's the new prez?!

Doom : The new president?

Alex : Yes.

Doom : George Bush?

Alex : No. The RWF president.

Doom : What about him?

Alex : Who is he?!

Doom : Who is who?

Alex : THE RWF PRESIDENT!

Doom : What about him?

Alexandra breathes heavily and grips the table. Amara whispers something into her ear as she snaps large chunks off the table off. She speaks slowly, clearly, deliberately and extremely angrily.

Alex : The RWF president - what - is - his - NAME? His NAME? WHAT - IS - IT?!?

Doom : I don't know.

Alex : ARGH! {tears a piece of table off}

Doom : No need to have a fanny-fit about it. Nobody in the RWF knows who he is yet.

Alexandra sighs.

Doom : However, I *must* be the first to find out! That way I can mock everyone else for being slower at finding things out than I am!

Amara : Says the man who took three weeks to realise he was asleep...

Alex : Says the man who invented the wheel then worked out it'd already been done...

Amara : Says the man who thought Pot Noodles really DID have poodles in them and bought the company...

Doom seethes. Scene fades out.

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