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Date Posted: 12:54:48 06/21/02 Fri
Author: Scott Plumbtree
Subject: Re: red car (blues)
In reply to: martin37 's message, "red car (blues)" on 12:53:20 06/19/02 Wed

Hey man. I think this one needs maybe a rewrite. I think my problem lies mainly with the phrasing. "A stupid little car I have, red it is." I have trouble seeing this line work. As usual though, you always tend to have a great line. This one "Worth a million dimes But no one cares" I really like. And I think that verse flows a little more than the others. Take it for what it's worth (probably not a million dimes).

Scott

>RED CAR BLUES
>
>A stupid little car
>I have, red it is
>Wears its scars
>Like a dress
>It makes me smile
>When we’re on our own
>Riding down the trail
>In the tire a nail
>
>My little red car
>Makes me drive running
>Wild riding
>My red little car
>On the runaway
>A big plane landing
>But this is a motorway
>No landing zone
>
>Sometimes I’m a trainman
>And prefer riding
>On my own
>There’s no need to hurry
>I’m riding to my honey
>Movies in my head
>Worth a million dimes
>But no one cares
>
>Sometimes Miss Charlotte
>Comes around and I
>Let her ride
>The little red chariot
>In her summer dress
>High speed spread
>A true patriot
>In this Southern state.
>
>
>A lyricist looking for collaboration on
>www.lyricforasong.de
>Critics welcome.
>Martin

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