| Subject: $Water Under A Bridge$ |
Author:
Alicia
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Date Posted: 20:38:15 06/23/09 Tue
In reply to:
Zeth
's message, ".:.yeah, well...:." on 13:45:54 06/23/09 Tue
She had felt his grip tighten, would have even winced at the pressure but his words held her captive. A larger hand, smooth from his lack of physical labor, brushed her cheek and it took all that she possessed to not melt against it then and there. To give herself up and proclaim it all forgotten and forgiven, but she couldn’t…not yet…not now. His words continued now, each lyric an unspoken song tugging at her heart cords and pulling her closers and deeper into the web that for so long she had wished to remove. Not the spider, but simply the web, and now – now she was right back where she’d begun. Each words dreamt night after night, each promise something she had wished upon each shooting star, all of this and more he was proposing and how the heavens angels cried for her to believe and the tiny devils giggled in their doubt causing ways.
Again tears began to form, threatening to spill forth and blur the image of him pleading for her forgiveness. She was sure had it been anyone else they’d have had him on his knees, knelt and begging. Something she could never do to him, because unlike so many others, she truly believed and truly saw a side of him known of the others had fully grasped. Sure there were stolen moments of passion, whispered words of devotion, but in the end…she was the one he’d returned to. It had just never dawned on her that she’d be the constant all these years, having always looked to it as if his infidelity was…and it was, but then so was she.
She held no malice now, her resolve continuing to crumble despite the inward demons that sprung forth to remind her of the tears, attempted deaths, the fights, and the lack of sex. All this and more paraded before her mind’s eye reminding her why she should not allow him back, but already she knew it too late. The moment she’d warned him of the potential trouble she knew herself lost. There was no forgetting him and his deeds, but perhaps there was…in time – forgiveness.
“Do you realize how long I have dreamed of this? How many nights I prayed to whatever being existed that such would come true? That night near on the beach I gave you all Zeth. I spoke my vows and I meant them. I never went back on them no matter the temptation presented.” Her words were passionate but spoken softly despite this the final added as the only barb she would give him this evening. “But you did. You did and because of that no amount of words can right what you have done.” Eyes still brimmed with tears, though they had begun to dry, watched his face as she stated this. Her free hand moving to grasp their two set together. “Brillian became bitter because of things you and the world did to her, it nearly happened to me, it still could.” Pausing she stared at him and with as much serenity as she could possess and more she plead her own case. “I would be a liar if I said I did not want you back, because I do. I always have and always will. We are bound for eternity you and I. Zeth…I have lost two daughters to the wind and world and simply having you I would be the happiest in the world, but I will promise you this. Prove to me and only to me that your words are true and never action nor thought or word will take you from me again and to another. Do this and I promise you a child, one that we can cherish together and call our own. But I will not do this so soon, I wish to know I am not bringing another bastard into the world nor do I want them to grow up with us at each other’s throat. I know we will not always get along, but I am praying to whatever god or saint that we never have to go through this again…because honestly. I won’t do it again. I can’t. My heart will simply cease to exist.”
Her plea given she lifted their hands, pale and trembling lips brushing against one and then another knuckle. Soft kisses given as tears were wiped away by his skin. She loved him, she’d loved him always, and she always would.
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