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Date Posted: 15:01:13 01/25/02 Fri
Author: Rowan Silvertree
Subject: Oh, bother
In reply to: Marz 's message, "It's java time!" on 10:09:12 01/25/02 Fri

When Jeremy trotted off back to camp, Rowan threw his hands up in the air, shaking his head silently. Well, what did he expect? To turn a stupid, bumbling kid into a wise, considerate adult with one lousy speech? The only person he’d managed to fool was himself.

And sure, he’d listened to others when he was told the situation was hopeless, huh? Yeah, right! Leave her alone, Rowan. He’ll never love you, Rowan. Just try to move on, Rowan. The kind, considerate voice of his sister stood out above all the others, and he could almost imagine her trying to hold him down with her eyes while she counseled him. Only problem was, just like Jeremy, he hadn’t liked what he’d heard, so he simply hadn’t listened.

He sighed. Maybe guys were just dumber than girls when it came to stuff like that. He couldn’t remember Laurel pining away over anyone. There’d been some professor she’d fancied at school, but that was about it. Marriage proposals were a joke to her. Most of the women he knew back home were the same way—opting to marry whomever their parents selected for them, and then just selecting a lover of their own, later, at their leisure.

“Women!” he said again, grumbling under his breath. “And kids! What the hell’s the matter with them? Am I the only sane person in the entire world lately?”

He hopped off the rock, still feeling a bit grumpy. He started to head toward the camp, but when he saw who was there, decided to change course. Rowan had no desire to watch the biting exchange of words between Jeremy and Tristan, as well as suffer the innocent expression on Marz’s face. Imagine the gall of the kid, playing both of them like that! Just wasn’t too cool, in his opinion. Besides, the one he really wanted to talk to wasn’t there, so he’d have to go find her.

He ambled around the outskirts of the pond, humming a bit tunelessly under his breath, until he spotted the rest of his friends gathered in a small clump around a stranger. The guy wasn’t much to look at, which was a damn shame, since he always did consider it a plus to have companions who were moderately decent eye-candy, whether he had a personal interest in them or not.

There she was. Spiky blonde hair at least a head shorter than everybody else, her violet eyes wide with wonder as she stared at the newcomer. Rowan muttered a little to himself as he approached the group, telling himself he was about to do the right thing, no matter what.

“We need to talk,” he said, coming up behind Tia and tapping her on the shoulder. She turned and looked up at him, eyes sparkling hypnotically as she unconsciously let a tiny bit of her nymph magic leak out. He shook his head abruptly, blinking several times, and took her hand, leading her briskly away from all the others.

When they were as alone as they could be in the sparsely covered desert oasis, he stopped and turned to face her, shoving his thumbs into his pockets and giving her a fairly uncharacteristic serious look.

“Okay, here’s the deal, Tia. First of all, I’d like to apologize for the stupid things I’ve said and done to you in the past couple days. I’m sorry, and I never meant to hurt you, but I guess even a guy like me can mess up and act like a jerk to a girl he really cares about.”

A grin flashed across his face, but he tried to grow solemn again, so he could continue. “The reason that I pulled you aside is to tell you that I like you.” Oh wow, Silvertree, talk about pouring on the charm. He snorted to himself, smiling crookedly again before going on. “And you see, that’s the problem. I think I like you too much, if you know what I mean. The problem being that, if you happen to like me back, and then we decide to do something about it…well, I’m afraid I’d probably end up hurting you.”

The typical guy statement, he reflected sardonically. Time to move on to the commitment speech. “You see, I’m just not ready for that type of thing. I’m not saying I couldn’t commit to it, but just that I don’t really want to.” He paused, chewing on the inside of his mouth. Now why the hell had that sounded much better in his head? Hmm. Next time he might see about practicing this aloud before trying it out first.

“Look,” he persisted, moving to take both her hands in his and focusing intently on her gaze. “I just don’t want stuff between us to get out of hand, since we already got a great friendship going.”

Aw, damn. This was a bad idea. Here he was, alone with her, holding her hands and staring into her eyes…and telling her he just wanted to be friends. Of course, she’d never indicated that she wanted anything else. Maybe this had all been speculation on his part. They were still friends, and would probably remain that way, so worries there. Why the hell was he standing so close to her? Just friends, he just wanted to be friends. That’s all.

Suddenly, he leaned forward, closing the gap between them, and kissed her, pulling her body closer to his while still holding both her hands. “Oh, shit,” he breathed, breaking away and leaning his forehead briefly against hers before moving back again. “I’m sorry. Scratch that, I didn’t mean to…aw, damn it. I think I’m going to do it again…”

He did, this time leaning into her lips more and releasing one of her hands so that he could curl his arm around her petit back. Well, whoop-tee-do, he thought, his heart beginning to hammer against his ribs the way he knew it would as soon as he let himself do this. Now he’d really screwed the plan up. The plan was out the window. Dead and buried six feet under.

“Okay, so just friends, all right?” he asked, breaking away and laughing lightly. He hoped she wouldn’t run away from him like the first time he’d kissed her back in Kazabet’s palace. Or get angry with him, or tell him he was crazy for liking her so much. Actually, he wasn’t sure what the hell he did want her to do, but as of now, he was simply fresh out of ideas.

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