| Subject: Entropy Chapter 6 |
Author:
Becca
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Date Posted: 13:55:40 03/24/02 Sun
In reply to:
HeyBecca
's message, "Entropy" on 19:23:01 02/10/02 Sun
Entropy 6—A Moment in Time
“Well I feel good here. Got about a million more years to do what it is I gotta do.”
--“In Our Lives” John Mellencamp
The buzz was enormous. One would have thought this was the Oscars or the Grammy Awards because of how many people were lined up just to get a glimpse of the stars going to the club. Everyone was there. From Christian Bale to Catherine Zeta-Jones. The glitterati was out in full force.
Nighttown was open.
Carly sat in her limo, waiting to get out and walk the red carpet. Her stomach felt like it was about to explode. If she didn’t know better, she’d have sworn her head had lifted up off her shoulders and was resting at the top of the limo like a child’s balloon. She watched Maxie Jones, in blue Versace, and Dillon Hornsby, in red Gucci, go into the club, strutting like they were on top of the world. She also saw Bono and his wife Ali, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, John and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Tom Cruise, Rob Thomas and his wife, David Boreanaz, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr., Katie Holmes and Joshua Jackson, Russell Crowe and his girlfriend of the week, Julia Roberts, John Cusack, Will and Jada Pinket Smith, and more. Hollywood had come out for Carly’s big night.
“Oh my god,” she gasped, realizing her legs wouldn’t move. “Jax, I can’t move.”
He looked at her. “What? Yes you can . . .” he scooted closer to her, realizing that it was almost time for them to get out. “Deep breaths, Caroline, deep breaths.” He did as he said, showing her how to do it.
“I can’t move Jax, I’m not having a baby.”
He chuckled. “It’s time. I’m going to open the door and you’ll slide out of the limo, and make your way down the red carpet, talk to the press, and have a good time. Ok? Deep breath—for me.”
She did as he said and before she knew it she was walking down the red carpet, smiling and waving. At some point she must have switched to auto pilot because she couldn’t remember talking to the press. Or flirting playfully with Matthew Perry. Or discussing the killer shoes Gwen Stefani was wearing. Or going into the club and checking in with her bouncers. She didn’t remember any of it except that Jax stood by her the entire time, making sure her nerves didn’t get the better of her.
Why it was happening now was beyond her. Maybe because this was her last club, or her biggest, or because she had the most riding on it. But for the first time in her life, Carly felt a little bit intimidated.
“Jax, I’m a little thirsty,” she managed with a smile and moments later a flute of champagne was in her hands and she was back to playing the fun hostess.
“You’re doing great, everyone is having a blast,” Jax whispered in her ear.
“Where the fuck is Natalie?” Carly asked him through gritted teeth. “Where is my business partner?”
**
“Make a right! No! You fu--.”
“You will catch more bees with honey, Lucky,” Emily informed her friend, touching his arm before he jumped into the front seat of the limo and strangled the driver.
“But we are late, bordering on unfashionable,” Lucky sneered.
“Look it, we’re almost there,” Sly said between sips of the Cristal. “Mr. Limo driver got us here. Now we just have to wait in the limo line.”
Natalie slumped in her seat, a knot in her stomach. “Shit, shit, shit—Carly is going to kill me. I’m so late.”
“That’s a shocker,” Lucky smirked.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Have you ever made it to one of these things before Carly?”
She made a face and stole Sly’s drink and downed it all in one shot. “We have all night—all night. We just have to learn to RELAX.”
“Says the woman who stole my drink,” Sly muttered, searching the limo’s mini bar for something to drink.
“Sly, we’re almost here—Carly’s bar is fully stocked,” Emily informed him.
“Mineral water, babe,” he said, showing her the bottle before chugging half of it. “But I do plan to get good and lubricated tonight,” he rubbed his hands together, a devilish grin on his face. “What band is playing?”
“Oh gosh . . . we were so busy worrying about the DJ, I can’t remember,” Natalie said, shaking her head tiredly.
“Third Eye Blind,” Lucky interjected. “But, as Carly says, ‘if we’re lucky, lots of stage jumping.’ The live music will be downstairs, after dinner. DJ is upstairs all night and during dinner.”
Sly bopped his head to the music coming through the car’s radio. “Here we are kids—let’s rock and roll!”
“You are such a dork,” Emily told him with a laugh as they got out of the limo.
Lucky looked at Natalie and arched his eye, “Ready?”
“Always,” she affirmed, taking his outstretched hand.
**
Zander nervously buttoned and unbuttoned his jacket, glancing at Elizabeth every few moments. “Do you feel it?”
Elizabeth’s attention was across the room at the front door, her eyes glazed over as she waited for one specific guest to arrive.
“Elizabeth? Earth to Liz!”
She blinked; realizing someone was saying her name. Her date. Zander. “Sorry, guess I kind of zoned out,” she admitted. “Did you say something?”
He smiled. “Yeah, it wasn’t important.”
“Are you sure, you have my . . .” her voice faded off when she noticed Zander’s sudden shift in attention. Sly and Emily had just walked in. They looked amazing, dazzling even. She was a few steps away from him, but Elizabeth would have sworn she could feel Zander tense with jealousy.
Trying to make him feel better, Elizabeth sighed and smiled. “I can assure you that she’s not interest in Sly like that.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t make me feel any better,” Zander admitted. He retreated to the bar, looking to get something to numb the feeling in his chest. He should be over Emily. They ended a long time ago. A lot had changed since then. She obviously moved on, why couldn’t he?
Elizabeth wanted to follow Zander to the bar, to offer him her ear to listen. But she was stuck in place. She knew that Sly and Emily were riding over with Natalie and Lucky, and she desperately wanted to see Lucky.
She got her wish.
A minute later Lucky and Natalie strolled in, having finally gotten free of the press and well wishers. He looked amazing, she thought, absolutely beautiful. It was weird, but nobody could ever do to her senses what Lucky could. Jason and Aiden were both gorgeous men, but there was something different about Lucky. He had an air about him; a vulnerability coupled with a confidence that made him the most beautiful man she ever could imagine. And just looking at him tonight, she could feel her entire body being pulled in his direction.
‘You never even got to really feel him,’ she reminded herself. It was the one regret she had in life. She never got to make love to Lucky. She had been happy with Aiden and if he hadn’t died she would have stayed happy with him. But there would always be a part of Elizabeth that longed, yearned, needed Lucky Spencer.
“God, I need a drink,” she grumbled, realizing that Lucky was very intent on his date. She turned on her heels and followed Zander to the bar.
Across the club, Lucky looked away from Natalie and noticed Elizabeth’s retreating form. She looked stunning.
“Red,” he whispered, noticing the color of her dress for the night. She had come such a long way from that night so many years ago. She was no longer that girl who was full of spirit and light, she was a mature, talented, glowing woman. He still looked at her like she was an angel, his angel.
Getting some courage Lucky began to walk towards Elizabeth, realizing that Natalie was in her element mingling with the guests.
“Lucky, you’re finally here!” Maxie said happily, cutting off his path to the bar.
Lucky closed his eyes and took a deep breath before switching his attention to Maxie.
“Hey, Max, you look beautiful,” he told her sincerely. “Are you having fun?”
“Now I am,” she told Lucky, giving him a quick kiss on the mouth.
“Maxie, no,” he told her softly.
“You’re no fun. But that’s all right, I’m sure it bugged my date,” she told him, motioning to Dillon who was a few feet away, talking to someone else.
Lucky clenched his jaw as he looked at the young Quartermaine. The kid looked too much like the boy Helena had brainwashed to replace him.
“You came with Dillon? Maybe you should rejoin him. My date is waiting for me,” Lucky said calmly, turning to go back to Natalie.
“But Lucky…” was all Maxie could get out before he was gone. “Fuck,” she muttered, grabbing Dillon. She waited until Lucky looked back before she attacked Dillon in an intimate kiss. When she came up for air she hoped to see Lucky watching jealousy, but he wasn’t. He was talking to Natalie and another guest, laughing casually.
Dillon licked his lips, eager for more. “Don’t leave me hanging, Max, let’s take this to bathroom.”
“Ugh, you’re disgusting,” Maxie said, hitting his arm. “What’s it going to take to get that man!”
“Here,” Dillon reached into his coat and pulled out a small baggie filled with a white powder.
“Yeah, you’re the coke head, not me—and getting blasted won’t solve my problem,” Maxie chastised.
Dillon rolled his eyes. “It’s not coke, Maxie. I’m not really sure the name of it. It’s a harmless drug that . . . well, it sort of helps to remove the user’s inhibitions. Kind of like getting really drunk but without the hangover, and it kicks in fifteen minutes.”
“I can see how that would be a good thing for you . . .”
“Ok, I know you like to play the blonde card, but follow me, Maxie. You drop some of this powder in Lucky’s drink, pull him aside in private somewhere and . . .”
A disgusted look swept over Maxie’s face. “That’s rape, Dillon. It’s date rape—that’s a date rape drug!”
“No, no, no, I’m not suggesting you do that . . . play with this stuff like it is a, uh, well—truth serum. Get him alone and talk to him. Odds are, with his inhibitions removed he’ll be able to tell you how he really feels. Don’t even initiate anything physical, just talk to him, get him to tell you what he feels.”
“How long before it wears off?”
“About thirty minutes after the affects kick in. You give it to him now, he’ll be fine by the time dinner is served. It can’t hurt,” he held out the bag for Maxie. She looked at it hesitantly. “Hey, do you want me to drop the stuff in his drink? It’ll be more discreet.”
“Would you?”
“What are friends for.”
**
Gia stood at the door to the club, her fingers laced through Steven’s. “You ready?”
“To shock the hell out of Sarah? Oh yeah, babe, let’s do it,” Steven told Gia, kissing her impulsively as the bouncer opened the door for them.
The two glided into the club, escaping the throngs of the press. Instantly, Sarah spotted them, her face turning an odd shade of white then red. Nikolas, not realizing what was going on, felt himself being pulled across the club.
“Let the games begin?” Gia asked Steven quietly.
“I KNEW it!” Sarah declared as she finally reached her brother and Gia. “I knew it.”
“You said that,” Gia pointed out.
“Knew what?” Nikolas asked. He was too busy watching Emily and Sly to even notice who Gia’s date was. “Steven, how are you doing?”
“Good, Nikolas, you?”
He shrugged, “Ah, all right I--.” He looked at Steven, then at Gia, then to his date, finally connecting the pieces. “Are you two here . . . together?”
“Yes, Steven is my date,” Gia admitted proudly.
“This is . . . how could you?” Sarah asked, nobody was sure whom she asked.
“Hey,” Steven held up a hand. “Before you start with the attitude, Sarah, you should know that Gia isn’t just my date. She’s my girlfriend, we’ve been dating for a while now, so if you have anything to say about it be prepared to deal with me.”
“Dating?” Nikolas asked, grabbing a glass of champagne from a passing waiter. “Wow, that’s . . . wow!” He shook his head, downed the bubbly, and smiled. “If you will excuse me,” with that, he left the group and went in search of Emily.
“You look a little green there, Sarah,” Gia pointed out with a laugh.
“This is just…I knew it…Steven, how, why?”
“Don’t even begin, Sarah. I love Gia; she’s a wonderful, amazing woman. You don’t see it because you two have some convoluted history because of Cassadine. Well, look Sarah, Gia’s moved on. Hell, it looks like Nikolas has moved on too,” he said, pointing to Nikolas who was heading right for Emily. “But you are the only one stuck in the past. Get on with it, little sister, or you’ll be alone forever.”
“Steven—how! You’re my brother,” Sarah gasped.
“I may be your brother, but I’m not your cheerleader,” he told her. “Come on, babe, let’s go have some fun,” he told Gia and led her further into the club, leaving Sarah fuming.
**
“Well, look at that,” Elizabeth noted as she spotted her brother and Gia on the other side of the club. “They make a cute couple . . . I bet you Sarah is pissed.”
“Yeah,” Zander said, taking a shot, “but then again, Sarah gets pissed when the weather forecast says partly cloudy instead of partly sunny.”
“You’re bad,” Elizabeth said with a laugh, sipping her martini.
“Hey, I dated her for a while, I’m allowed to say rotten things. It’s like in the ‘ex’s’ handbook or something,” he pointed out with a laugh.
She smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “It’s good to see you smile. You should do it more often,” she told him. “If you’ll excuse me, I have something to do.”
“Good luck,” he told her softly, knowing exactly where she was going.
“Now, why would a woman ever leave your side.”
Zander turned around, coming face to face with Nicole Kidman. He could suddenly feel his heart in his throat.
“Oh my god,” he muttered, stunned by the fact that his life long crush was standing in front of him. And, he wasn’t sure, but she seemed to be flirting.
“I’m Nicole.”
A loopy grin on his face, Zander nodded. “I know.”
“I figured,” she replied, extending her hand. “Do you have name?”
“Alexander David Smith,” he said, blurting out his full name without even thinking.
“Alex?”
“No!” he gasped, horrified. “Zander, my—my name is Zander.”
“Ok, Zander . . . I like that name, it fits you . . .” she said, sitting down in the seat Elizabeth had vacated. “So, was that girl your . . .”
“My friend,” he finished with a grin. “Liz, she’s a pal, like a sister—no romantic undertones there. Nope, completely platonic.”
“Really? Is there a girl who you aren’t platonic with?”
“Not at the moment, Nicole, but I am not opposed to it.”
“Listen,” she said, moving closer to him. “I’m here with someone, the studio set us up on a date, publicity and all. But I’d like to see you again.”
“I…I could…yes,” he stuttered, watching her write her phone number down on a cocktail napkin and slide it into his pocket.
“Good. Give me a call tomorrow, we’ll get together one of these days . . . in a non platonic way, maybe,” she whispered in his ear, giving him a lingering kiss on the cheek.
Zander swallowed hard, watching as she floated away, leaving him in a stupor.
He snapped out of his haze and looked around. “I just . . . did you? Oh my gosh!. . . Nicole . . . Oh shit!” But there was nobody for him to brag to. “Figures.”
**
Lucky took a long drink of his glass of champagne. It tasted sort of funny. But he shook it off, figuring it wasn’t the quality of the Cristal they had in the limo and nothing else. He was about to go to the bar to find out what they were serving at the moment when he found himself on a crash course with Elizabeth.
“Lucky, wait!” she called out, stopping him from changing courses.
“Elizabeth,” he managed in a small, nervous voice. “Hello.”
“Hello? It’s been god knows how long and all you can say is hello?”
He leaned forward, “What do you want me to say?”
“How about ‘I’m sorry for not saying hello yesterday.’?” Elizabeth stepped back at her own words, wondering where the hostility came from.
“I’m sorry, ok? I just wasn’t prepared to do all THIS then…I’m not really prepared for it right now, either,” he admitted, nervously a hand through his hair.
“Are we ever going to be ready to face our demons, Lucky? I just want my friend back, I want to be able to look at you and not . . .”
“Not what? Not feel like your heart is being ripped out? Not feel like you’ve lost everything? I’m sorry, I don’t think I am ready for any of that. I never will be.”
“Lucky, there you are!” Carly called out, grabbing his arm. “We need another case of champagne. Can you tell one of the bartenders to get it from downstairs?”
“I’ll do it,” Lucky said shortly, walking away from Carly and Elizabeth.
Carly looked at Elizabeth questioningly. She didn’t stay to explain, instead Elizabeth followed Lucky through the club.
Maxie and Dillon watched. A concerned look on both of their faces.
“Dillon, what is going on?”
“I’m sorry, Max, I didn’t think Webber would go and stop talk to him after I fixed his drink,” Dillon admitted. “If you hadn’t been such a chicken and done it yourself, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“Next time I need help with something, remind me NOT to ask you,” she grumbled, heading across the club.
“Oh, fuck,” he cursed, following his pissed off date.
**
“Excuse me, but I’m looking for an old friend,” Nikolas said as he approached Emily. He looked up at her, an amused and delighted look in her eyes. “Do you know where I can find her?”
“Now why would you want to see an old friend, when you can dance with a hot young thing like me?” Emily said with a giggle.
Nikolas glanced at the dance floor and smiled. “Not exactly a waltz, but I have faith you’ll show go easy on me.”
As the music changed to an up tempo song Emily shook her head and took Nikolas’s hand. “I just had this flashback of you and me in the Quartermaine living room.”
“Oh . . . let’s not speak of that in public.”
“Exactly, maybe we should just get a drink and talk a little bit instead of dancing right now. Save it for a slower number,” Emily suggested.
“I’d love it . . . you don’t think our dates will mind, do you?”
They looked around the club. Sly was in the middle of a group of partygoers, completely oblivious to the fact that his date was elsewhere. Sarah wasn’t anywhere to be found, but it didn’t concern Nikolas too much.
“What table are you seated at for dinner?” Emily asked curiously.
“I’m not sure, which one are you at?”
“Table two,” she told him.
“Funny,” Nikolas began with a smile, “That’s where I’m sitting.”
**
Lucky sat on the floor, gazing up at Elizabeth who was banging on the door, hoping desperately someone would hear her above the pulsating music the DJ was spinning.
“It’s not going to work,” Lucky said. His voice was strained, clearly not calm. He pulled at his tie, loosening it.
“Someone is going to have to hear us, or come check on us,” she insisted. “They’ll need that damn case of champagne eventually.”
“Why did you follow me down here?” Lucky asked. He needed a distraction, fighting would be the best distraction he could find. His head felt light, clear even. He didn’t feel right. The champagne, he thought, his drink had been off. He didn’t know what was wrong, but he didn’t feel normal.
“Because I was trying to talk to you. Instead of talking you decided to go get champagne. I’m sorry if I was offended by that,” she shot, sitting on one of the crates and looking at Lucky. “Maybe I should take this as a sign—this club is more important to you than I am.”
“You have no clue, Elizabeth, no clue,” Lucky told her.
“Then clue me in, Lucky. Talk to me.”
“About what? What do you want me to say that I haven’t already told you?”
“How about the truth?”
“Let’s not go there,” he muttered. The room felt like it was closing in around him and he knew exactly why.
“No, let’s go there, Lucky. It’s been, what? Six years? Why don’t we rehash the past?” she challenged. Something in Lucky’s eyes told her that he needed to fight. There was panic in his blue eyes, panic from being trapped again. She had to take his mind off of whatever he was thinking, and if it meant fighting with her then so be it.
Elizabeth moved in front of him, looking in his eyes. He looked so lost. “Look at me, Lucky. Let’s have this out. Finally, after six years, let’s talk. Nothing is stopping us right now. Tell me—tell me, Lucky. I can’t go on unless you tell me why you can’t look me in the eye or say hi to me when you pass me on the street. I want to know how you don’t love me anymore. Because, god, after all these years, I still love you as much as I did that night you kissed me at my window. But you have to make me understand, so I can move on, why you don’t love me--.”
“I do, I never stopped, Elizabeth. How can you think that? How can you even fathom that I wouldn’t love you? My entire life, the one thing that has made the most sense to me is that I love you,” he shot, his voice tight. Lucky stood up and paced the room. He felt like he was being held captive again. Then he looked at her. Her blue eyes glistening. He wasn’t captive. He wasn’t alone. But he was as scared as ever.
“Then why did you leave? When you came back, Lucky, you left right away. Was it because of Aiden? Because I was with him?”
Lucky placed his hands over his face for a moment. “No, it wasn’t Aiden. God help me, I liked the guy. The young poet with a heart of gold—you found a good one, Elizabeth. I looked at him when he talked about you and I could tell he loved you. And I knew that you’d be happier with him than you’d be with me. So I had to leave. I knew we had a long, long road ahead of us to even get to the point where we could think about having a chance. And no matter how mad I was, I just wanted you to be happy.”
“I was happy,” Elizabeth admitted guiltily. “I was all Aiden had. When he got sick if I hadn’t been with him he would have been alone. He had no family; he spent his entire life traveling, so he had no real friends. If I hadn’t been there, he would have…he would have died alone.”
“See,” Lucky began, “there was a reason why I had to leave. Nobody should . . . Aiden needed you more than I did.”
“That doesn’t answer my question, though. My happiness with Aiden wasn’t why you left; it isn’t why you have trouble looking at me. It’s because of him, isn’t it? Because I thought he was you.”
Lucky flinched. “Elizabeth…”
“I hate myself for it. I hate myself for letting him touch me, and hold me, and . . . so I understand, Lucky. I understand that part of you hates me because I let him . . .”
“No,” Lucky said, a tear falling down his cheek. Everything seemed so clear at the moment, as if he could say anything without repercussions. “I don’t care that he got to make love to you when I couldn’t. I care that he had your love and abused it and made you doubt us. You had lost so much faith in what we could be that you were able to fall in love with someone else. That is what I hated. I don’t hate you, I hate myself because I obviously . . . I don’t know. I just wish it never happened. I wish all of this never happened.”
Elizabeth moved closer to Lucky, taking his hand. “I think we need to . . . I think we need to stop blaming ourselves for things we had no control over.”
Elizabeth searched his tired blue eyes, a glimmer of understanding and hope residing there. His eyes compelled her to go on.
“I come to this city and I always end up in the village. Don’t ask me how but I ended up there this morning after breakfast. I found myself outside our building, sitting on the stoop, and bawling my eyes out. And I realized how stupid it was. I’ve been living in this cloud of pain and self pity for so long now that I haven’t been able to move forward. Aiden helped me, for a little bit, and when I’m out at art shows or meeting publishers trying to sell Aiden’s work, I can focus on the moment. But I am sick and tired of living in the past, in a past that we never happened.”
“I know,” he admitted. “I’ll end up on Horatio Street and have no clue how I got there. I can’t let go of it . . . I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let go of us.”
“What does that mean, Lucky?” Elizabeth asked hopefully.
He lost himself in her eyes, wanting to give himself completely to her, to go back in time. God, we wanted to be young again, he wanted her again.
“I need you,” he whispered. “When I saw you yesterday, all I wanted was to go over to you.” He touched her face, tears clouding his vision. “Elizabeth, I . . .”
“There you are!”
They both practically jumped apart. They hadn’t even heard the door open; they were so lost in the moment.
“Natalie,” Lucky gasped, stepping towards his date and good friend “What are you doing here?”
Natalie pointed behind him, trying to pretend she hadn’t seen anything. “The champagne.”
“See,” Elizabeth pointed out, trying to regain her composure. “I told you they’d come down looking for it.”
“Yeah,” Lucky sighed, wiping his thumb across his eye. “Carly didn’t notice I was missing, did she?”
“No, and you should be happy I was alerted to your MIA status, I think Caroline would have popped if she had found out you were gone.”
Lucky forced a weak smile. “Dinner should be starting soon, right? We should head up.”
Natalie nodded. “You grab the case of champagne, Spencer.”
Lucky picked up the case and left the room. Natalie trailed closely behind, leaving Elizabeth alone for a moment.
She shook her head, trying to figure out what the hell just happened with Lucky. As she made her way upstairs Elizabeth searched the club for Lucky, unable to locate him in the mass of people.
Then suddenly she felt a strong hand on her shoulder. She turned around hopefully. A different kind of shock coming over her as she saw who had gained her attention.
“Jason? What are you doing here?”
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