VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, [9], 10 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 14:10:39 02/25/03 Tue
Author: Star S.
Subject: Ironic, how you term it "suffering"...
In reply to: J. T. Magnus, who doesn't know Psychology, that's Star-chan's department, but does know Comradeship. 's message, "Hm. Well, there's something you have to understand first...." on 18:05:08 02/24/03 Mon

I'll approach this from two angles, but neither of them straight psychology. (I have nothing but contempt for the way Freud would explain this).

Approach #1: Okay, here is the normal approach. I'll go with what J.T. said on the different types of love, not all are the same. There is familial love, platonic, romantic, comradely, all different types. However, you were worried about your sexual orientation. Well, don't be. There are different types of relationships that everyone needs and/or experiences throughout their lives. There is the platonic love between friends, but there also is a deeper type of love that exists between friends that has nothing remotely sexual attached to it. I believe that is what you felt with Truman, and it would have caused the reactions you went through when he moved away.

If I could find my Health textbook, I would be able to give you a more technical rundown than this, but I can't, so... If I remember correctly, there are three distinct parts of what we call "love". Think of it as a triangle, if this makes it any easier. With platonic love and other, baser emotions, only one side of the triangle is present. With familial love, the deeper love between close friends, and romantic love, two sides of the triangle are present (although depending on the type of love, the sides can be different). Finally, in what J.T. called soul-completing love, or in the ideal relationship of a certain kind, all three sides of the pyramid are present. The three sides? (*blinks* THAT TEXTBOOK WAS NOT SITTING ON THE STAIRS LAST TIME I LOOKED!) Now that I have my textbook, it's 'Commitment', 'Passion', and 'Intimacy'.

Now that I found the textbook, I can give you a rundown on what they list as the types of love and which of the sides exist.
Liking: Intimacy only, love between friends.
Infatuation: Passion only, an idealizing, obsessive, all-consuming love, characterized with a high amount of physical and emotional arousal, often unrequited, "love at first sight". (OSIRIS, this is you...)
Romantic: Intimacy and Passion, love in which commitment may develop over time.
Fatuous: Commitment and Passion, deceptive love, the "whirlwind affair"; as passion fades, all that's left is commitment, but without time and intimacy, it's a poor foundation for an enduring relationship.
Empty: Commitment only, dutiful love, a poor foundation for a relationship.
Companionate: Intimacy and Commitment, essentially a commited friendship; may start out as a romantic love, but as passion diminishes, and intimacy increases, it is transformed into this type of love.
Consumate: All three elements, The love that dreams are made of, difficult to sustain.

Daniel, minus the part about starting as romantic love, I think you felt companionate love for Truman.

Approach #2: This one is shorter, I promise. I'll just be quick: if you think that you only have one soulmate, you're wrong. A person has many soulmates, but in different ways. Truman could have been one of your friend-soulmates, just as Amanda is your lover(sorry, couldn't think of a better term)-soulmate. It has to do with reincarnation and past lives and a whole bunch of stuff that I'm just beggining to understand.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

Post a message:
This forum requires an account to post.
[ Create Account ]
[ Login ]
[ Contact Forum Admin ]

Forum timezone: GMT-5
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.