Nope. =^-^= Let me get to my blog, copy and paste the rant here... -- Turbo Journey

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Date Posted: 15:09:00 03/13/03 Thu
Author: Star S.
Subject: Nope. =^-^= Let me get to my blog, copy and paste the rant here...
In reply to: Iggy! 's message, "Hmm. Six-pack love? Are those like muscle-heads?" on 15:02:32 03/13/03 Thu

Here's the entire rant that I posted in my blog a few days ago... ^_^

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Things that should never have been explained...

You know, there are some things in life that should never be explained to those who did or did not want to know. Six-pack love and coyote love are two of them. Perhaps I should back up a bit and explain. My psychology teacher, as I have mentioned before, seems to enjoy ranting to the class on a tangent that may or may not be related in any way to psychology. Last class, he told one member of the class to remind him (the teacher) about telling us about "six pack love and coyote love". He made the point several times that it was "coyote love", not "Coyote Ugly", e.g. the movie. Well, lo and behold, my illustrious classmate remembered and reminded the teacher. Not that he had forgotten in the first place, no, as soon as the student opened his mouth, the teacher and student said the same thing in synch. Scary... Ahem. I'm getting sidetracked again. Anyway, today's subject in the psychology textbooks was psychoactive substances, substances that produced an altered state of conciousness. Alcohol, of course, was one of the first discussed, considering nearly everyone in my class has had it before. Me, no, I do not imbibe at all; I have the double genetic disadvantage of having alcoholic relatives on both sides, and my migraines that I suffer from can be triggered by a chemical found in all types of ethyl alcohol. So, I don't drink at all... Anyway, back to the topic.

You knew it was coming, when he started right away with measured drinks and what they are (1 12oz. American beer, 1 4oz. glass of wine, 1 1oz. shot of whisky, vodka, or other strong liquor), and how much a normal person drinks. Then, we knew we were in for it when he asks, where do we go to meet people when we are in-between relationships (e.g., we just broke up, one way or another). People said malls, grocery stores (?), college, you know, the usual places. Then, someone hit the one he was looking for: bars/pubs/taverns.

As he explained it, six pack and coyote love are this: when a male goes into a bar, he picks a spot usually that is close to the bathroom, close to the bar, close to the dance floor, and close to the food. This means that in one way or another, everyone in the bar (let's stick with 'bar' for clarity, although I mean in the entire place) has to pass by him at least once that night. So, our male goes in at 9 PM, and gets his spot. Before he drinks his first beer/whatever alcoholic beverage he chooses, he scopes everyone out. Chances are, there's no one in there he'd touch with a ten foot pole. However, this is where fate or the sadistic 6'8" 300-lb. bouncer named "Bert" interferes. See, Bert bolts the door at 10 PM, so no one else can come in. Depressed as our male is, he drinks. And drinks. Around his 6th beer or so (hence, six-pack love), he spots the most amazing beauty only a few bar stools down or a few seats away from him! He could have sworn she wasn't there before, but whoo-ee, she's there now, and she's a looker. This brings us to the next part; coyote love. So, lets say that our male "scores", and he wakes up the next morning with his arm around this "beauty". He wakes up, blinks, rubs his face with his free hand, then looks over at the person he's sharing the bed with. If his scream was audible, it would break windows. He's so horrified, that he'll do the coyote trick and chew his arm off instead of waking up the person he's sharing the bed with, because it's liable she'll want to go another round. Hence, coyote love.

These are things that I never wanted to know, but now do, thanks to my loony psychology professor. Thanks, prof, I think I'll go drown my sorrows in something OTHER than alcohol, after that.

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Replies:

:~((Beat. Cries) I'm a coyote trap! My last girlfriend was drunk when we met... (NOTE: My last girlfriend, IRL, was six years older than me, and an alcoholic...) (NT) -- Iggy!, 15:18:12 03/13/03 Thu
- Aww, don't cry, Iggy-kun... (pats him on the back) Coyote love is the sort of love that only lasts one night. I doubt that your relationship was that short, so there's no need to think that... (NT) -- Star S., 15:24:25 03/13/03 Thu
- And now you know why I don't drink except in extreme cercemstances. And even then no more than a pint... -- J. T., 15:32:00 03/13/03 Thu
  - *shrugs* They're your brain cells to kill off, m'dear. =^-^= (NT) -- Star S., 15:36:13 03/13/03 Thu