Re: Philip Seymour Hoffman could have been me... -- StateBoardIssues/RealRecoveringNurses

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Subject: Re: Philip Seymour Hoffman could have been me...

Author:
hockeymom

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Date Posted: Wed, Feb 05 2014, 15:21:39
In reply to: Catmom 's message, "Philip Seymour Hoffman could have been me..." on Tue, Feb 04 2014, 20:52:54

Catmom, I still read everyday hoping somehow this site will resurrect itself.

I have found that this particular actors death has struck a chord with me as well, unlike many of the others. Frankly I didn't even know who he was when I heard the news. Perhaps it was his length of sobriety that makes me feel very vulnerable.

I know I have shared with you my inability to get a job also, plus now my license has been suspended. The job outlook here is bleak and frankly makes it not worth fighting to have my license reinstated. I couldn't even find a clerical job and that was after paying someone to "dumb" down my resume. I am fortunate though in that I have a dh who is able to support us.

For me, I've decided to go back to school to get my Masters in Addiction Counseling. I can't look to nursing anymore to help support us and just like you, I'd like to help those who still suffer anyway that I can. Maybe through student loans this might be an option for you.

Please do not think about using again. When there are times that I wish that the stress and pain of day to day life get to me I think about something that was said to me in rehab. When those times come, "play the tape forward". If I drink or use, will that get me a job again? Will that help find a place to live? Will I be able to look myself in the mirror? I know the answer is no and the feeling of not wanting to live that life again takes back over. Sure that blissful feeling will make things seem better, but when that feeling goes away, then what?

Please know that I am always here. I will PM you my email addy through the other site. You are not alone in this.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: Philip Seymour Hoffman could have been me...	stressedinpa	Fri, Feb 07 2014, 5:14:09