>>“Fish fry?” he echoed, as their steps crunched over
>>fallen oak leaves.
>I would put the fallen leaves at another place
>because when I read the steps here, I wait for them to
>stop in surprise or stumble or something like that.
>but thats just MHO
I'll see if it works another way. I've walked this very path many times and the fallen leaves can get a little thick along this stretch.
>>
>>
>>“Are you insinuating something about my cooking?”
>Hmmm, I can't make out if that is plain teasing
>here with that sighn of Valerie following, or if there
>is something underlying. Just beeing curious I
>guess
He's just teasing her. The chicken soup he brings her when she is sick is his (even though she doesn't eat, having fallen asleep) and there is a scene I haven't yet written where she gets to sample a meal he has cooked. He's quite good actually, with a particular talent for Italian food.;-)
>>
>>The car slowed as they got into the left lane to turn
>>onto Highway 16.
>Do you really need the number of the highway here?
>Numbers, for me, have a tendency to disrupt the flow
>of reading.
Well, it *is* the highway that leads out of St-Augustine heading west.;-)
>>
>>Valerie opened the window a crack, drinking in the
>>scent of the salt marshes and the cool night air.
>I like that you always encorporate the scents
>too.
Thanks!
>>“What do you believe in then?”
>Great reaction!
Thanks! Valerie's good at deflecting...
>>
>I think that is the first remark about his mother
>that I read.
Jane will show up, maybe not in this book, but there's already a sequel in place...
>>
>Oh dear, Valerie has quite a job ahead of her
>competing agains such a person.
>>
That she does. She spends a lot of time jealous of a dead woman, as irrational as that feeling is.
“I think too many people have
>>experienced similar unexplainable things to say that
>>what they claim isn’t true.”
>My saying.
My feelings exactly. I hear Sherlock Holmes saying "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." Who's to say what really is impossible?
>>
I was still angry with Ben for not
>>giving me the message right away,
>Oh I can so relate to that, I was away for the
>weekend when my granddad died, and my parents didn't
>inform me, didn't wont to depress me. And I still feel
>guilty (almost 15 years later) that I partied while he
>died.
I didn't know my own grandpa died until after his funeral. Someone at my work took a message and never gave it to me. I had no home phone at the time.
“Come to
>>think of it, he was probably off with Alexis, even
>>then, but that’s another story.
>Good hook you through here in passing. Now you got
>me wondering and waiting for that story ;)
LOL... it's hinted at from tiem to time. Maybe I will work that story in somewhere, as a flashback or something.
>>
>I can't wait for the book, there are so many things
>in these exerpts that I can relate to. (I always have
>a song in my head, and often it comes out)
Me too!>> She
>>turned her hand up to squeeze his in thanks.
> Wasn't her hand tucked in? Where did she loosen up
>again?
WHoops! Thank you! I'll be fixing that now...
>Good scene, emotional, but not the kind that brings
>tears. And I think that is perfect for something that
>has so much deepth. If you would try to make people
>teary here, they would rush through instead of
>savoring it.
>Keep on writing. YOu put a lot of meaning in a lot of
>words ;), but it comes across really real and easy. It
>seems like you don't have to construct scenes to get
>something across, it just flowes on. (I'm sure it is
>not that easy but you make it seem so.)
Thank you so much. Yeah, it's not the easiest thing in the world to do, but I have hope from your comments that it's something that I'm accomplishing well enough that it is easy to read, like watching the scene rather than reading it. I always enjoy stories I can lose myself in.
[> [> [> [>
Love the mom quote. They really do know what they're talking about, too bad it takes us so long to realize it. -- Debi, 19:48:11 10/14/09 Wed
