Date Posted:12:43:51 02/12/10 Fri Author: Debi Subject: Excellent ideas! Thank you! In reply to:
Alex
's message, "Re: Doing my homework, like a good girl ;-)" on 10:55:17 02/12/10 Fri
>Read through this an enjoyed, Debi! Table full of
>people and who was talking was never in doubt. Pat
>yourself on the back. *s* Not an easy thing to do! I
>do have a suggestion though. Food for thought.
>
>When Ben spoke up to his mother, I wondered why he
>wasn't firmer. Having to face your own mortality has a
>way of putting all the superfluous daily BS in
>perspective. You don't have the luxury of letting an
>opportunity slip by. Ben's mother and sister don't get
>that. Ben does. He's changed. That's why he invited
>Val, right? To make peace? Amends? Now, changing his
>mom's behavior is a can of worms too big to tackle,
>but bringing her up short, and making her aware that
>life isn't business as usual, is in his power.
>Same goes for Valerie. Ben's stand gives her an
>epiphany? Snaps her out of her own emotional maelstrom
>to realize she might never see him alive again? You
>could also put some details in there, where V notices
>the toll the cancer and treatment has taken on him.
>Old habits broken? Closure and peace between them
>instead of unfinished business? *shrug* That's my two
>cents. Love the ending though. Don't mess with
>that. *s* And thanks for sharing!
The scene the way I've imagined it was a bit more involved, with Ben standing up to his mother more forcefully in front of Valerie and Daniel, but somehow, when rattling the scene out, it ended before I worked that in. Excellent ideas to supplement that revelation, because Valerie would be proud of Ben for finally growing a spine with his mother and she would be just as happy to have witnessed it. Yes, Ben needs more.
Thank you!
