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Date Posted: 15:46:15 05/08/10 Sat
Author:

Page
Subject: I've missed your long posts. ;) >>>
In reply to: debikm 's message, "Thank God I can edit now. I pulled my old trick again!!" on 12:28:23 05/08/10 Sat

I do love a follow-up, especially since I was literally worried about how badly Valerie was injured. No, seriously!

I was going to give you a crit, but I can't find anything I'd change. I loved every word! I also loved Kelly saying it was her best birthday ever (just like a kid!), the battlion dwarves line, and Alan asking her to clarify which type of buffalo.

I mean this from the bottom of my heart - I wish I could write like this!

Hugs,
Page

Last edited by author: Sat May 08, 2010 15:48:56 Edited 1 time.

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[> [> [> Thankee, kind lady! --

debikm, 17:04:49 05/08/10 Sat

>I do love a follow-up, especially since I was
>literally worried about how badly Valerie was injured.
> No, seriously!

This is a rewrite of the first time I wrote this scene, where she did end up in the hospital but I dumped it for being too dramatic and...well, just too much. Aside from further showing how Vic can be a pain in the butt and Valerie worrying about Daniel getting a phone call after a trip out and trying to hurry to the hospital, there wasn't a need for all the drama. I will miss some of the bits of dialogue I cut that didn't fit in this new version, but I can maybe fit them in elsewhere. The buffalo line came to me as I was writing and I couldn't resist.
>
>I was going to give you a crit, but I can't find
>anything I'd change. I loved every word! I also
>loved Kelly saying it was her best birthday ever (just
>like a kid!), the battlion dwarves line, and Alan
>asking her to clarify which type of buffalo.

Kelly is a five year old, very intelligent little girl. Her fascination with mournful foolk music has given way to the horses which in turn is supplanted by the ambulance. Wonder what she'll be infatuated with next?
>
>I mean this from the bottom of my heart - I wish I
>could write like this!
>
Page, that is so sweet. There aren't proper words to express how much you saying that to me means. I am humbled by your praise and hope I can continue to give something you enjoy reading. God knows how I love reading your work.

Hugs back!
Debi

Last edited by author: Sat May 08, 2010 17:06:29 Edited 1 time.
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