Things are a bit more real, but I'm still nervous. (m) -- Are You Pregnant Board

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Date Posted: 09:21:03 05/08/03 Thu
Author: Mary
Subject:

Things are a bit more real, but I'm still nervous. (m)
In reply to: Jeri 's message, "****MARY**** How are you feeling today? Are thinkgs sinking in a bit more? (m)" on 08:46:59 05/08/03 Thu

Last night Gary and I talked about a lot of things. I explained the beta results and we both agree that if this is meant to be it will. I just really want this baby and I know I'll be dissapointed if anything happens to it. I know that it's out of my hands now, but I feel so powerless. I wish I could do something to ensure a healthy pregnancy, but for right now I just have to wait and see. We did decide tentatively on a baby girl's name, Grace Helen Otey. Helen is my middle name. We are stuck for a boy, but the middle name will be Thomas, just like Gary's. It's really strange talking about names and realizing that it might actually be happening. I even found myself talking to the little one this morning on the way to work. I had to pee like a racehorse about two blocks from my office, so I asked it if s/he was the one responsible for it. Maybe pregnancy as well as TTC make us crazy!

I didn't have any more spotting yesterday until after we made love. Maybe not the best thing to do, but nobody said not to. It seemed like the thing to do and it was absolutely amazing. More emotional and connected than ever before. The spot was bright red though when I went to the bathroom afterwards. Nothing more overnight though, so I'm hoping it was just a cervical irritation, etc. A few years ago at my annual pap, my dr. said my cervix was friable, meaning it's prone to bleeding, so here's hoping that's all it was. So far so good today, no more spot. I have some cramps, but not AF type, more constant tightening down there.

I know what you mean about Ronny not understanding our friendship. I haven't talked to Gary much about this board either, but once or twice when I did, he seemed very confused! He looked like his head was spinning last night when I was explaining possible causes for the bleeding and why my beta might be so low, dpo, implantation, etc. It is so good that men don't have to go through this, they would just give up because it's too damned difficult and complicated!

Have a great day at work. I hope you are productive. I need to be too. Yesterday was basically a complete waste and I have a feeling the rest of the week might be too. It is so time consuming worrying about this pg, but worrying won't help, so I might as well get some work done right? Pep talk to myself - in case you didn't recognize it!

I'll keep you posted on symptoms, etc. So far, just tired right now and some cramping, fullness feelings. No m/s yet, although I was a bit nauseous yesterday afternoon. Maybe my time will be afternoons versus morning, evening or all day?!

Take care and I'll check back later!

:) Mary

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Replies:

Still So happy for you! (M) -- Jeri, 09:45:07 05/08/03 Thu
- Stop it, you're making me cry now! (m) -- Mary, 10:39:21 05/08/03 Thu
- Howdy - feeling better this afternoon. (m) -- Mary, 14:01:36 05/08/03 Thu
  - You are so sweet. Now you're making me cry! (m) -- Jeri, 15:20:19 05/08/03 Thu
    - Enjoy Friends! Talk to you tomorrow - probably around noon or so. (m) -- Mary, 16:42:02 05/08/03 Thu

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