Nawab blames Spew's spew for first up lost -- RFL

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Date Posted: 21:54:18 05/10/07 Thu
Author: New Dehli Chronicle
Author Host/IP: 220.237.130.151
Subject: Nawab blames Spew's spew for first up lost
In reply to: PTP 's message, "So - what does the Nawab of Carnegie......." on 00:38:47 05/08/07 Tue

Embattled Laxatives President billionairre spice baron The Nawab of Carnegie blames the mysterious off season death of coach Floodney Spew for the teams first round loss to also rans McHales Navy. "It hurts us putting in an un-Laxatives like performance, especially against what is basically a bunch of amateurs".

The Laxatives were thrown into turmoil in the off season when coach Floodney Spew died, apparently choking on his own vomit. Spew was visiting the cricket world cup as guest of his club president. Investigations revealed that Spew was drinking with The Nawab at the hotel bar and went to his room in an "agitated state". When he didn't appear for breakfast the next morning, police were called and did nothing. The next day the cleaner found Spew's room empty, with vomit in obscure places such as behind the bar fridge and under the bed. Spew's body has never been found. Rumour's are rife that The Nawab planned the whole thing because Spew knew of the power broker's alleged match fixing dealings. Most prominant of those is that The Nawab paid England selectors to keep Michael Vaughan as one day captain and Duncan Fletcher as coach. Sources say The Nawab had 5 million pounds on England to be "shit". Once Spew was wise to such dealings it is believed The Nawab shackled him to a yacht and sent him adrift in The Carribean. The police are intending to begin a search in the next few months.

Laxatives players were stunned with the news. When told of the coaches demise Barry Hall commented "it's quite bad", Joel Bowden was "shocked and stunned" and Anthony Rocca was out of breath.

Meanwhile caretaker coach Rooter McTempo says the players are adjusting to the new game plan "Flood liked to get numbers behind the ball, we like to be a bit more conservative and control the game on our terms" said McTempo.

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