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Date Posted: 17:57:16 05/24/01 Thu
Author: Griff
Subject: New feature!


GRIGG'S MOVIE PREVIEWS!!


Following your fine Tuesday preview Rich, I've gone through the listings myself to have a look see at what's on! Here are my picks:

The New Adventures of Laurel and Hardy: For Love or Mummy (a '98 movie with two guys playing L&H, will probably be shite), Major League: Back to the Minors (starring Scott Bakula), Election, Them!, The Right Stuff, The Sixth Sense, The Imposters (another Laurel and Hardy homage), The Rage: Carrie 2, Pushing Tin, Bride of Chucky and many, many more!

So keep an eye out for those ones, Rich - oh wait, you can't, cos they're all on Sky!!! Ha ha ha, in your face, Mr. Time of the Apes! See how you like it, poo head! 15 movie channels, all for me! Sucker!

I'll totally send you For Love or Mummy and The Imposters (which is a homage rather than a so-called 'new' movie) so you can add 'em to your L&H section of the Anorak Zone if you like. By the way, seriously now, if something does come on that you want and I can tape it for you then just ask. Right - now for my capsule review:

THE RUNNING MAN
Films don’t come much emptier than this tinny duffer, which is hollow beyond belief, visually boring and has no respect for its audience. It’s based on a novella by Stephen King (writing as Richard Bachman), and any traces of style, character or commentary have been carefully pummelled out of the story to produce this banal slice of rubbishy dinge. Arnold Schwarzenegger gives a terrible performance as a nice army chap in one of those oppressive futures, who refuses to open fire on a rioting crowd and is framed for murder, ending up on the Running Man game show where convicted killers are chased through the streets by a bunch of lit-up goons and forced to fight for their lives. But this is Arnie after all, and he isn’t going to take it lying down. (Not like you, Rich.)

This is a lumpy bout of sadistic violence unredeemed by anything resembling intelligence; the occasional flickers of satire are quickly stamped out by the relentlessly mundane plot, and strangely for a character we’re supposed to be cheering on, Arnie defends himself with an amazing amount of tortuous violence and unfunny one-liners. Aside from this, the film treats the audience like dummies – if an important sign or message is shown, you can bet it’ll be underlined by the characters reading it out loud, for all the dim bulbs out there. Every time we see a TV in this ratty SF poo, it’s conveniently showing the Running Man programme or other programmes about it – not exactly RoboCop, is it? How about the scene where Arnie and Maria Conchita Alonso run into a room where doors slam down on them, leaving them with no way out, and Arnie says “We are trapped.” Duhhh, thanks for that newsflash. This is a dimwitted dud with nothing to recommend it.



Now piss off!

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