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• So do Prince and MJ like each other or not? Someone claimed that Prince had a pop in the lyrics to My Name Is Prince, while Jacko has a jokey reference to him in Moonwanker the film. But I also read they were going to sing Bad and 1999 together, so who really knows? But one remark attributed to Prince was "He called his album Bad cos they couldn't think Pathetic on the cover". Which is where we are with the reviews... (NT) -- Rich, 16:13:50 05/27/01 Sun

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• Bad: Shambo! What is shambo anyway? I've never been that found of this one really, thinking it an uninspired, derivative retread of Thriller. And can you really take the sap seriously claiming to be hard? I mean, I could have him in a fight. Rating: *** (NT) -- Rich, 16:15:20 05/27/01 Sun

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• I Just Can't Stop Loving You: I know you can't Michael, but you have to pay me $30 million if you want to carry on. Quite uplifting I guess, but a bit bland. So-so pop. Rating: *** (NT) -- Rich, 16:17:15 05/27/01 Sun

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• The Man In The Mirror: F****** ell, Jacko's mirror must be confused, every time he looks in it he's got a new nose. (Jacko's mirror says: "Didn't you used to be black?") This one's okay, but shows a worrying predeliction for Jacko to indulge in irony-free "I am the new messiah" posturing. Disturbing . Rating: *** (NT) -- Rich, 16:19:59 05/27/01 Sun

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• Thriller: Nice spangly light disco funk as a homage to horror. Factoid: The video was quite unusual for Jacko in that: 1. It was scary, and not syrupy. 2. He actually had a rapport with the girl, and didn't look like a bender for once. Rating: **** (NT) -- Rich, 16:23:19 05/27/01 Sun

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• Beat It: Another meaningless yet irresistible funkathon from the man who once had street cred. Throwaway pop, but good, and with the added advantage of nostalgia. Takes you back, doesn't it? His voice is very good on this one. Factoid: Grigg actually took the title of this song as his raison d'etre. Rating: **** (NT) -- Rich, 16:25:01 05/27/01 Sun

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• The "oohs" and "aahs" in the background of that last one show a lack of taste, though. Cheese, but great despite of it. The Girl Is Mine: A prequel to Jacko and Paul McCartney's other duets, Say Say Say and Give Me The Rights Back To The Beatles Songs, You C***, I Hate You Now. Jacko should have duetted with (the ghost of) Lennon. Mixing it with Paul was only encouraging his blandness. (NT) -- Rich, 16:29:02 05/27/01 Sun

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• Factoid: Paul's singing isn't as good as Jacko's, at least here. His smugness factor, though, is through the roof. (Best Solo Paul: Live and Let Die) Almost unlistenable pap, this one. Shite and annoying. Rating: ** Remember The Time: Done this one. Rating: *** (NT) -- Rich, 16:30:02 05/27/01 Sun
  • Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough: Catchy, but pointless. So jingly-jangly it might make you puke. Rating: *** Wanna Be Startin' Somethin': Not one of Jacko's more memorable efforts. Okay, but not great. Rating: *** Heal The World: Done this one. Rating: ** (NT) -- Rich, 16:37:06 05/27/01 Sun
    • Rich's Final Thought: "When I took the average of this one, it only came to ***.3 recurring, and not the **** that I'd expected. Probably the greatest Jacko disc, it does however flag up his strengths and weaknesses. MJ's back catalogue is clearly a double-edged sword, with genuine greats on one side, and bland pap on the other. Will his future lead to a genuine disco king or to Elton's understudy? Only time will tell. Until next time, take care of yourselves... and each other." (NT) -- Rich, 16:43:14 05/27/01 Sun
      • Christ, do I have to plough through this shite much longer? Billy's away till the middle of next week so I doubt he'll get on a computer but I'll tell him to next time I speak to him on the phone. I miss my Billy! Tragically I can't watch Weng-Chiang with you cos I didn't tape it as I missed the start, stupid UK Gold!! I was looking forward to it as well. (NT) -- Griff, 16:55:21 05/27/01 Sun
        • I did watch that Columbo that was on the other night - Billy Connolly was the killer and Patrick McGoohan co-wrote and directed it! Like most of the revival episodes it was too long and not as clever as the '70s version, but still pretty good - *** for that one. I also just saw Pokemon: The First Movie, which was - f*** it, I'll bash out a review for that one when I can be arsed. Right then, bit of tea and then another movie! (NT) -- Griff, 16:57:58 05/27/01 Sun
          • "plough through this shite"??? I thought you liked my little Jacko reviews. Be like that then, I'm not playing any more... (NT) -- Hurt Rich (Who's just seen Talons and you haven't), 20:37:15 05/27/01 Sun
            • Aw, don't cry Rich, you know I'm only having a larf. Piss bag! I'm gonna have an afternoon of watching your shite when I get in from work today, cos a) I'm in the mood for some duff quality LP telly, b) it'll shut you up and c) I'm knackered and I don't want to watch anything good in case I nod off half way through it! Hee hee! (NT) -- Griff, 05:36:28 05/28/01 Mon

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• Och aye, i'm up here north of the border in scotland, it's quite bonnie. There's yer cliches oot of the way! Any road, i'm here cuz griffs said rich had reviewed more jacko so i rushed right over to see the latest groundbreaking jokes from this hard-hitting satirist. The Way You Make Me Feel is one of my top five Jacko songs!! And Don't Stop Til...is cool cuz it's just so dancey and up. Also, i think Bad is one of his best albums (although there's only been 6 so it's not much to pick). (NT) -- Jim, 21:08:18 05/27/01 Sun
  • I'll copy Off The Wall, Thriller and Blood on the Dancefloor for you if u want Rich!!! And Griffs, get this bloody thing set so u can type more than 500 characters in the title line!! I'm off to amazon to get my MJ reviews. ooh, and through the summer i should be able to review movies again!!!!!!! (NT) -- Jim, 21:10:24 05/27/01 Sun
  • "i rushed right over to see the latest groundbreaking jokes from this hard-hitting satirist." That made me laugh that did! Why can't you craft a finely-tuned slag-off like that, Grigg? You smelly ape! Hey, Jim, thanks for the offer of taping that stuff, but I'd feel kinda bad putting you out like that (esp. as I'd use it as an excuse to come on the board and take the piss out of them). I tell you what, I'll take 'em out of the library, but cheers anyway, it was a kind thought! :) (NT) -- Rich, 11:11:57 05/28/01 Mon
  • As you tried to make it up Grigg I might let you see my brand new review later ... Enter The Dragon! (NT) -- Rich, 11:13:05 05/28/01 Mon