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1. You're obviously a man of much wisdom, Rich - where will you be putting your talent next? I heard you might be doing a Red Dwarf guide?

A: To be honest, Richfan, I found once I started it I suddenly couldn't be arsed to finish. What's coming up next on the schedule is the completion of my Paul McGann review, then one on the Patrick Troughton stuff so I can tell Grigg what he's been missing (Cos he's only seen the ropey Dominators which is *** if I'm feeling in the mood). After that I'm going to exploit the fact that Charlie Higson reads the r & h sites and - sad confession alert! - I'm going to write a Randall and Hopkirk story and put it on my site. This in the hope that Charlie will read it and go "bloody hell, call the publishers, quick!" More likely he'll go "this is shite" though, but worth a go...

2. What's all this about these "mardies" I keep hearing Grigg going in? Do you have them too?

A: No, Richfan, I am a mardy-free zone. What you have to remember is that Grigg is a girl and as such is prone to bouts of PMT and irrationality. Recently, for example, he's been prone to ignoring his mates on this board, and thinking having a Tommy is beneath him. On a good day he'll just come on here and ignore half the messages (see below for several unscanned down pieces).

3. What's this about Grigg talking shite? Every time I read one of his reviews it's absolute bollocks. Does he really believe what he says? And do you talk crap too?

A: Sadly, no. Or if I do (on just two rare occasions so far) I admit to it. Grigg still labours under the false pretence that Bobby Zee is a decent director. Usually I talk the Gospel as related by Mark.

4. What about the amount of reviews you post? I seem to read one of yours at least once a week. Surely that's illegal?

A: No, Richfan. Posting reviews a minimum of one a week is perfectly within the law.

5. Rich, you're the best. Everything you say is just like the f******* truth written in stone. So, using your mighty wisdom, can you tell me where I can order videos on-line?

Sure, try BLACKSTAR VIDEO

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

• Grigger...To see the rambling, long-winded shit I've written about the Paul McGann film, then go HERE (NT) -- Rich, 00:06:22 03/10/01 Sat

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• Come on, smelly arse, get on the board! I just bought the Empire collector's guide to Action Movies today - there's even a Bobby Zee film in there. Cue Grigg creaming his girl's panties. (NT) -- Rich, 15:45:30 03/10/01 Sat

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• My favourite bit: "No, Richfan. Posting reviews a minimum of one a week is perfectly within the law." Anyone would think that was a cheap shot at my lack of reviews! Poo off! Now then, Back to the Future's great, innit? Moving on, there's a documentary about The Prisoner on the Sci-Fi channel on Thursday at 8:30 pee-em. So if you know someone with Sky, get 'em to tape it, all right big mouth? I'm gonna go and read you McGann bollocks now. ***1/2, I give it. (NT) -- Griff, 18:00:35 03/10/01 Sat
  • I guess to a dedicated fan the pilot could seem a bit ropey - god knows I can pick a zillion holes in the dodgy BTTF cartoon series - but I don't know much about the continuity references to be honest. I loved the Tardis and Paul McGann though, and the first half was a genuine ****. When the plot ran out of steam and it became a chase movie, it dropped to a *** - but it was still a lot of fun. Shame McGann never had the chance to make more, really. (NT) -- Grigg, 18:26:19 03/10/01 Sat
    • Horror triple bill on BBC2 tonight, Rich - Evil Dead 2 (**), Near Dark (might as well) and The Lottery (the only one I genuinely want to see)! -- Griff, 19:04:25 03/10/01 Sat
  • Yes, I did know Evil Dead 2 was on, Grigg, because Woody Allen specifically mailed your board telling us about it and you ignored him. Look, just post a bloody review, will you? I've borrowed a copy of Hairy Smelly's Frankenstein (*** or **** from memory) so I'll watch that soon. I saw Carry On Emmannuelle last night - *, flatter than a BTTF anecdote from Grigg. (NT) -- Rich, 08:54:16 03/11/01 Sun
  • I wasn't so bothered that the continuity references had holes, but more that they were there in the first place with the McGann movie - it was so bloody anorakky. And I wanna see some Planet of the Apes reviews now!! (NT) -- Rich, 08:54:36 03/11/01 Sun
    • Look, you snotty cow, I know Woody said about Evil Dead 2 but I didn't know if you'd noticed that it kicked off a horror treble, all right? Scuse me for trying to be helpful! And talking of not reading posts properly, I've already said that you'll have to bloody well wait till the site's done. Bits reference other bits, so I want to see the lot before I bash it all out. (NT) -- Griff, 14:12:26 03/11/01 Sun
      • You wrote an Apes series review when you first joined the board, didn't you? Coincidentally, that was also the last time I wrote a review myself. Have you still got it? And tell me more about this Panhandle & Plopkirk story you're doing, dammit! I might even read it, not that you bothered with mine! I'm gonna watch Evil Dead 2 tomorrow, so I'll do a review straight after - is that okay with you? God, you smell! (NT) -- Grigg, 14:23:14 03/11/01 Sun

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• Hi Jim fans, more glowing praise for my imdb reviews. I got a message from someone who said "Sorry to tell you this but your reviews suck." Yes yes, it's the adoration of my people that keeps me going. (NT) -- IMDB's Jim Griffin, 11:13:54 03/11/01 Sun
  • Hi Jim, did you see my Jacko post? And Grigg - I couldn't think of a single original idea for a Scandal and Slopkirk story so I'm just going to blatantly rip off the plot of Brighton Rock, ducks, and see if anyone notices you little slut. Yes - that's right! Pinkie was me all the time! Bet that had you fooled, eh? And you silly sausage - "I know Woody told me about Evil Dead 2" - do you really think Woody Allen posts message boards about the contents of the Radio Times? (NT) -- Rich, 15:30:14 03/11/01 Sun
  • That was me as well! Don't you look stupid now? As for Apes review, look above, and look below for a brand-new review (it's called "scanning down", Grigg) (NT) -- Rich, 15:30:32 03/11/01 Sun