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Date Posted: 09:28:41 05/16/02 Thu
Author: moomin
Author Host/IP: cache-engine-01.core.plus.net.uk / 212.159.1.1
Subject: Being a bloke is top, because:

Your arse is never a factor in a job interview.
Your orgasms are real. Always.Your last name stays put.The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
You never feel compelled to stop a friend from gettinglaid.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a rat's arse if someone notices your newhaircut.
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.Wrinkles add character.
A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, notleave youtarnished.
You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotchadjustments.
People never glance at your chest when you're talking tothem.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practicallyexpected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So,noticeanythingdifferent?"
You can appreciate great sport.You can throw a ball more than 5 feet.
One mood, ALL the damn time.A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind.
You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
You can leave a hotel bed unmade.You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act ofthoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or shecan stillbeyourfriend.
If you are 30 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger'sseat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don't have to clean your flat if the electricitymeter readeriscoming.
You can sit in silence watching a football game with yourmate for
hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
You don't mooch off other's desserts.
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring alittlegift.
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit,you just
might become lifelong friends.
You are not expected to know the names of more than fivecolours.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn anut on abolt.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, allseasons.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing amoustache.
Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives,onDecember24th,
in 45 minutes.The world is your urinal.

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