Tom's Major in The Wolverine Den -- Victors Board HOF

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Date Posted: 03:22:32 04/29/03 Tue
Author: HOF Man
Author Host/IP: 138.88.46.229
Subject: Tom's Major in The Wolverine Den

Please give further suggestions. Specifically, I need to designate an appropriate instructor for each course.

Hope this makes up temporarily for the absence of the Digest.

Den Major: Master of Science

Courses:

I. Introductory Den History

This entry level course will cover all the basics from Victors Valiant to the various Wolverine Den's to the Victors board. Students successfully completing this course will have a good general knowledge of the various boards, when they were in operation, who ran them, and who the primary participants were.

II. Advanced Den History

This advanced level course will build on the knowledge gained in Introductory Den History, providing greater detail and depth. This course will include discussions of various trends and issues on each board including poster alliances. The "Chat" phenomena and its influence on board history will be discussed in detail in the latter half of the semester. Students successfully completing this course will have a detailed knowledge of board history and will be expected to complete an essay describing their favorite era in Den history with supporting arguments.

III. Board Administrators

This advanced level course may be taken by a student who has successfully completed Introductory Den History. This course will go into detail regarding each board administrator, providing the student with both a biographical and historical perspective on each administrator. The management styles of each administrator will be compared and contrasted, including the strengths and weaknesses of each. Students successfully completing this course will be expected to complete an esay with a persuasive argument regarding who their favorite board administrator is and why, including facts and supporting arguments.

IV. Board Moves

This advanced level course may be taken by a student who has successfully completed Introductory Den History, and should be taken during the same semester as Advanced Den History. While general information about the moves will be covered in Introductory Den History, this course will explore in detail the moves that have been made from Victors Valient to Peegs, from Peegs to the Wolverine Den, and all subsequent splinter board movements. Upon successful completion of this course the student will be able to name the primary reasons for each board move, discuss in detail the factors influencing each move, and identify the primary individuals involved in each move. This course will also include a special guest lecture by Danny on The Father John Attacks and their Effect on the Post-Modern Den.

V. Board Technology

This advanced level course may be taken at any time after completion of Introductory Den History. This course will provide the student with detailed knowledge of the technological character of each messge board. Basic board layouts will be covered, in addition to traffic, bandwidth, speed, use of passwords, presentation of messages, ease of response, ability to edit, and general readability. Students successfully completing this course will be able to identify all the message boards ever used by the presentation, style, and functional characteristics of each board.

VI. Memorable Den Discussions

This advanced level course will take an in depth look and analysis at the most profound discussion topics in Den history, including Henson vs. Brady, The Election of 2000, Who is a Patriot?, Lloyd Carr: Genius or Fool?, To Punt or Not to Punt, and many, many others. Successful students will be able to replay any of the memorable discussion topics and demonstrate proficiency in arguing for either side.

VII. Famous Fights

This advanced level course will build upon knowledge gained in Introductory Den History and take a detailed look at the most famous pissing matches in Den history. Included will be such Den classics as BillMich vs. SunDevilPeg, Mahlon vs. Fleetwood Diner, Zeke vs. Cool Blue, Tom vs. Tusk, and many, many old favorites too numerous to mention. There will be extensive role playing in this class as students relive the most nasty, vicious fights in Den history and propose alternative endings.

VIII. The Civil War (One Board or Two?)

This is an advanced level course that may be taken in the same semester as Advanced Den History, with the permission of the instructor. This course will focus in exhaustive detail on a critical juncture in Den history when the single board format was forcibly changed by a charismatic board administrator alternately described as either a courageous, innovative genius ahead of his time or a stubborn, autocratic despot. Students completing this course will be able to identify the advantages and disadvantages of the two board system, which posters supported which model, and why.

IX. Posters From A to Z

This is an entry level, year long course that should be started in the same semester as Introductory Den History. This course will provide the student will exhaustive knowledge of every poster who frequented the various message boards, from the lurkers and occasional posters to the people who just wouldn't shut the hell up. Special emphasis in the second semester will be given to personal characteristics of posters, including jobs, sexual orientation, criminal records, political party affiliation, and geographical locations. Extra credit can be earned through independent study into one of the following special topics: The Role of the Female Poster, and, How Many FTB's Are There? Students successfully completing this course will be able to review threads with names removed and identify the posters who wrote them.

X. Posters From Other Schools

This advanced level course should be taken after completing Posters From A to Z, but may be started in the 2nd semester with special permission of the instructor. While posters supporting other schools will be covered in that class, this course will focus in detail on the disturbed psychology and motivations of a small but vocal group who very little is known about but who generally are considered so antisocial and obnoxious that even their own schools message boards want nothing to do with them. Students successfully completing this class must write an essay exploring and speculating on the childhood traumas and upbringing of their favorite non-Michigan poster.

XI. Family Members

This is an advanced level course that should be taken after Posters From A to Z, and will explore in detail the various family members that posters have been stupid enough to mention by name. Special emphasis will be on wives and girlfriends, although children and pets will be included too. A picture gallery will be a joint class project. Students successfully completing this class must be able to match descriptions of various family members, children, and pets with the correct poster.

XII. Rules

This is an advanced level course, designed to give the student a comprehensive understanding of the rules instituted on the various boards, and the reasoning behind them. Special attention will be given to the famous Rules Enforcement of 2003 on the WD, and to the monitors who were hired to enforce them, alternately referered to as the Dirty Half-Dozen, The Magnificent 7 Minus One, or the Pack of Weasels. Students successfully completing this course will be able to match every rule ever instituted with the correct board.

XIII. Den Terminology

This is an entry level course to be taken the same semester as Introductory Den History. This course will cover in detail the unique terminology developed on the various message boards, from the simple (numke) to the complex (halol). Students successfully completing this course will be able to match a wide array of terminology to the posters who created them, and demonstrate correct usage in messages.

XIV. Insults, Sarcasm, and Threats

This entry level course will give the student a thorough grounding in various insults, sarcasm and memorable threats used on the Den's. Distinctions will be drawn between insults and profanity. The student successfully completing this class will be able to demonstrate appropriate insults for specific posters, populations, and ethnic groups.

XIV. Introductory Cursing

This entry level course will cover the basic curses that have been used over the years on the various Wolverine Den boards. The course will teach the distinction between dirty words and actual curses and profanity. Please note that only the curses themselves will be taught in this course. The rules on cursing will not be discussed in this class, but will be covered in the Rules class. Upon successful completion of this course the student will be proficient in a wide range of general curses and profanity used on the Den's.

XV. Advanced Cursing

This in an advanced level course that may be taken only after the student has successfully passed Introductory Cursing. This course will build upon the knowledge gained by the student in the introductory course, using extensive role-playing. Among other things, this advanced course will cover curses specific to certain obnoxious ethnic and national groups, cursing styles of individual posters, and the correct hierarchy of curses to use when engaged in an escalating argument with an idiot on the other end of the conversation. Upon successful completion of this course the student will be proficient in all levels of curses and profanity used on the Den's, will be able to identify the favorite curse words of certain posters.

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