| Subject: U.S. To Divide Iraq To Leaded, Unleaded, Diesel Zones |
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Date Posted: 13:04:25 04/07/03 Mon
U.S. To Divide Iraq To Leaded, Unleaded, Diesel Zones
6 April 2003
BERLIN, April 6 (IslamOnline.net & News Agencies) - Did you know the Americans were planning to divide Iraq into three zones after the war? Leaded, unleaded and diesel.
Why didn't American troops get to Baghdad quicker? Because CNN kept having to reshoot the scenes.
The Iraqi information ministry says its troops have downed a British plane. "Don't believe a word they say," bellow the Americans. "It was us."
Caustic, gently satirical and often just simply offensive, the war on Iraq has proved to be fertile ground for Europe's humorists, reflecting the large majority of public opinion opposed to the military action, Agence France-Presse (AFP) said.
The prime targets are U.S. President George W. Bush, blunder-prone U.S. troops, his closest ally Prime Minister Tony Blair of Britain, and sometimes even the Iraqis.
What do Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common? They both want to know where those damn Tomahawks are coming from.
"There are two views about laughing at war," said German humor researcher Reiner Foerst.
"Some say that basically you shouldn't make jokes about painful events such as war, illnesses and tragedies.
"Others say you should never lose your sense of humor because it can help you overcome pain."
The above examples came from a variety of sources, including the Swiss joke website www.witziges.ch and German entertainer Harald Schmidt.
Shazi Mirza, a British Muslim comic who sprang to fame after the September 11, 2001 attacks, told an audience in Berlin of the war: "Come on Germany, get involved. It's not the same without you."
"It seems anyone with a moustache is a suspect these days," she says of the anti-terror campaign. "My mum's been arrested."
‘Friendly Fire’
Schmidt said Germany's football authorities were to change the phrase "own goal" for someone scoring against their own side to "friendly fire."
The French website www.humour.com has a photomontage inspired by the tales of Asterix, the feisty Gaul resisting the Romans.
A shadow looms over Europe. The words read: "It is 50 years after George W. Bush. The whole world is occupied by the Americans.
"The whole world? No! One indomitable little continent is still holding out against the hordes."
In Greece, a joke doing the rounds says a plane carrying Bush and Blair has crashed. Who survives? The rest of the world.
In Spain, a weekly satirical pupper show has put a Pinocchio style nose on Prime Minister Jose Maria Aznar, who has supported the war despite the fierce opposition of ordinary Spaniards.
Russia, which was also against the war, pokes fun at the U.S.-led coalition's early claims of victory. "The allies say they have captured Umm Qasr. It's the fourth Umm Qasr to be captured since the start of the war."
The Russian newspaper Izvestia recently published 30 war jokes culled from various Internet sources on its front page. One featured a press conference at which Bush was asked if he had proof of Iraqi weapons of mass destruction.
"Of course," replied the president. "We kept the receipts."
The media, which has covered this war in unprecedented close-up detail, is not spared either.
The Czech daily Lidove Noviny published a cartoon of a father, cigarette in mouth, slouched before a television showing the war. He says to his son, "Why war? Because broadcasting peace live wouldn't draw the same audience."
http://www.islamonline.net/english/news/2003-04/07/article02.shtml
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