Author:
sandra johnson (Completely Amazed)
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Date Posted: 13:37:20 12/29/10 Wed
I found this blog this morning posted by Dee Gerrish.
http://dianegerrish2.blogspot.com
Not only is this blog a total lie, it is a slap in the face to her own mother who suffers from Alzheimer's disease. Dee Gerrish claims she has been spending her time in a nursing home with Alzheimer residents. The "slap in the face" is because her mother has been ill with this disease for two years and not once has Dee made any attempts to visit her. So Dee Gerrish has the gall to claim she is spending her time with complete strangers in a nursing home when she COULD be helping her own mother in the last stages of her mother's life.
Dee lives eight hours from her mother. Twice, Dee was less than two hours from her mother and not once went to see her. Instead, Dee Gerrish stayed in a condo on the beach and went 'ghost' hunting in St. Augustine. What kind of daughter is that close to her ill, elderly mother and doesn't even bother to visit or even CALL her?
Dee Gerrish constantly blogs about how much she "loves" her mother and how much she cares about her. I find it interesting that this woman who 'cares' so much about her mom never visits here, never writes a letter, never calls and has never made any attempts to see her.
Well Dee Gerrish, you go right ahead spending your time with someone's parents in the nursing home and not your own. When your mother passes away, make sure you continue to go to that nursing home and spend your time with complete strangers.
"Yes! Not only CAN you engage someone with dementia, but you CAN help make their disability more of a positive experience for as long as possible. What is dementia ? Dementia itself isn't a disease. The word "Dementia" is a general term for memory loss. Dementia causes changes in the brain and there are varying forms of memory loss. But this blog is not about WHY people have memory loss or ways to prevent it.
This blog is really to share with you, my own methods of how I engage dementia residents as a volunteer. My own mother suffers from dementia but sadly another family member has been deliberately preventing my ability to spend any time with her. I decided to volunteer some of my free time with dementia residents and it was the best decision I ever made. By being a volunteer with dementia residents, it helps with inner healing for myself and it is with hope that the residents will enjoy the time I am able to spend with them too.
During my time in the military in Mannheim, Germany, both my husband and I put in over 2000 hours of community volunteer service to the military families as foster and respite care providers. We actually won many awards and certificates in April of 1995 for our dedicated service. Of course, our service was for their children, not to senior citizens, but I was still able to incorporate the same training for what I am doing now. It also helps that I have many years of people skills.
Some people believe that reading even a simple card is not of benefit to the person who suffers from this illness because they won't "remember" what they read to them. I think that belief is absurd and is very selfish. It does not matter whether or not the dementia "patient" remembers what you said to them or what you read to them or even what you "did" for them. What matters is the human interaction they are receiving from you and providing that interaction is positive, it matters what they are experiencing. What matters is the smile you have on your face and the warmth of your touch. I will share my experience of the last three visits I have had to show how only three visits have made a difference.
On my first visit, I wasn't quite sure how or what I was going to read to the residents or how I would be received as a visitor. I was happy to be there and I also wanted the residents to know that I was genuinely happy to meet them. I had brought along some Christmas books that were simple and short. I made sure the books were colorful. Knowing that the residents more than likely had visual problems...as do I... I also made sure the words were in larger print and in bold lettering. Of course I helped bring the residents into an area where they could sit and be comfortable and at first, I only had a few people to listen to the story.
But that was okay. It was fun because I not only read them the story, but I made sure to walk up to each resident and give them time to look at the page I was reading. I would tell them the color of the tree; the presents and I would point out certain things like what was on the tree...such as the colorful lights and the candy canes. I then decided to ask about the stockings hanging on the fireplace.. We all had a great laugh when I asked about the tiny stocking that a mouse had hung on the fireplace. I asked, "Now look how tiny that stocking is. What do you suppose Santa could possibly fit into that tiny stocking ??" Someone said cheese. Someone said a little box. Then one lady said diamonds. I pointed to her and said, "YOUR my kind of girl! Diamonds are a GIRLS best friend!!" We all had a big laugh. We talked about Santa eating cookies and drinking milk and some of the residents talked about Santa needing to go on a diet. Some talked about Santa having rosy cheeks. An entire one hour conversation took place over a simple, colorful, children's Christmas book that had about 5 pages.
Now why do you suppose that happened ? A couple of the residents did nod off. After all, they may have had medications or may have had their meal. But the most important reason it took that long was because I took the time to walk around to each resident and I brought it to their attention that they might have been wearing the same color as perhaps a color that was on a page I was reading. I would ask them what do they think the mouse's name was ? I would ask them questions about the page I was reading so that they could all become a part of the story. The second visit, I noticed there were more residents in the room. more chairs had filled up. I was glad I had brought more books! This time I asked more questions.
I walked around the room and I showed them the colors on the page that I was reading and I told them it was okay to touch the page. I had purchased what is called "touch and feel" type of children's books. They are wonderful books where children or even seniors can feel the textures on the page. One such story I read today was about animals being "ticklish". The residents enjoyed this story because we all interacted with the story. I asked if they were "ticklish, to raise their hand. Of course we all did. Then when talking about the animals in the book, they could feel their "fur" or "leathery" or "scaly" skin. When the page talked about a Zebra...I asked them if they knew what a Zebra ate. What types of food did they think a Zebra would eat. When the page talked about a crocodile, it showed him with smiling teeth and I joked he must have a very big dental bill because he had a huge mouth full of teeth. So I would ask questions about what they would think the animals would eat and where did they think the animals lived. Did they think the animals fur would protect them if it was cold. One simple book turned into a very enjoyable discussion that was interactive and it gave the residents time to laugh and time to spend with someone ...me...to have a general discussion .
Having books that the residents can touch and feel were perfect. Having books that are colorful or that perhaps have sound are even better. If you can "entertain" the residents....to get a laugh out of them...what fun everyone will have including yourself. Making jokes and watching the residents laugh and smile, brightened my day. How can you NOT leave from their home and return to YOUR home and not feel you've had a wonderful experience ? This type of volunteer work uplifts the soul and reaches right into the heart. I don't know how anyone could NOT want to help someone just out of kindness. Why WOULD you expect to be paid to brighten someone's day when these people have already given so much of themselves already ?
Would they remember this time we spent together ? Probably not. Does it matter that they may not remember me being there to read to them and interact with them and that I spent that time with them ? Absolutely not! What matters is that I took the time out of my day to spend some time with them, because I need some inner healing, and the time I spent with them was a positive experience for them. Giving back to these residents, in this way, is just a small contribution on my part. If I could do more, I would. Any time you can communicate with someone who has dementia, in a positive way, I believe it is effective and it doesn't matter how long they sustain remembering what it was that you did for them. Why should that even matter ? There are many ways to "wake" up a dementia resident. Using your creative imagination is the key. I will see them again and some might remember me and some may not. That's okay.
Today it made me every happy that I could barely find enough chairs for everyone to sit on. That meant I had everyone's participation. Even the little lady who wasn't that receptive to me in the beginning was actually very receptive to me today. She enjoyed the books I was reading and she really enjoyed the touch and feel books. I have to admit, I told everyone I wish they had books like this when I was a child. They were great! Even when one of the residents was taking a nap, I was able to wake them up with a simple touch. A slight rub on the shoulder and a kind gentle word. One way to bring someone into your world, who has a mental handicap, is to kneel down to their level. Never stand over them because this is intimidating and causes the person to become upset. Also, NEVER talk down to them. Always respect the fact they are your elder, if they are a senior person. If this person is your parent, never speak to them like they are a child. They do not deserve to be spoken down to just because they have a debilitating illness. Dementia causes confusion and the person who has it is confused. They don't understand why they are in their situation nor do they understand why they are going through what they are going through. Showering them with kindness and understanding will help them.
When a person receives a kind word or a positive, loving touch, the person does not become so combative. They are more receptive to positive feedback; soft kind words, a loving touch; sincerity and an honest approach. Dementia patients are human beings who have the same needs they had before they became ill.
They have the same desires to be treated fairly and lovingly as they did before they became ill. Because of confusion, they are just not able to express these desires any longer.
As a human being, we all want to be loved. We all want to be accepted. We all have the same basic desire of feeling important. We all have the same basic need of being touched. That doesn't go away just because dementia causes us to become confused. Even if you were to gently rub someone's shoulder, you may be helping alleviate some pain the person may be experiencing that they may not be able to express due to their illness. There are many things to consider as a volunteer. The most enjoyable part of my day was spending time with the dementia residents and interacting with them. The time spent with them help lift my spirits.
If you are considering being a volunteer or desire to become a volunteer, contact your local red cross and ask how you can become certified. If you have some time to become a volunteer, many nursing homes could use your help. If you enjoy art, music or have special interests, becoming a volunteer might be right up your alley."
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