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Sunday, May 26, 23:00:19 [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, [4] ]

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Date Posted: 26/06/03 18:54
Author: CHRIS
Subject: 丘世文先生的'尤明實錄'(第五回)

各位好,

香港回歸中國接近六年,無奈許多香港人仍喜歡'懷念殖民地'.現送上由已故丘世文先生撰寫的'號外'雜誌專欄'尤明實錄'兩則,內容與香港回歸前的移民風氣有關:

1992年7月其中一則:
--有一次我打死鱁鄏a下冇執到,冇幾耐就有一大堆蟻摟住. 當時我城扣儩c大力拍鱁戌穭@下,D蟻當然就紛紛雞咁腳走晒啦!哈,點知冇耐我返轉頭睇,成堆蟻又圍晒鄎.咁我專登又用隻拖鞋再拍一嚜馬垣沝蟻啦,隔耐D返轉頭又見D蟻仍然死心不息返番. 如是者我又用隻拖鞋拍,每一次隔冇幾耐都有D蟻唔怕死返轉頭鄹祗.於是我諗我地酯輕黿〞p何嘗唔係咁?經過咁多次暴動,騷亂, 不景,危機,一批批人恐慌移民,冇幾耐又唔係有一大班人擁住圍鄎軝祗?
--我教你下次唔好用拖鞋打!用些少殺蟲噴劑啦!包冇蟻褽O!

1993年1月其中一則:
--嘩!有冇睇最近電視鴷[拿大移民華人特輯呀?幾慘呀!影住條友對眼冇晒神,話失鷛~都唔知幾耐,為欒Йf車錢買完銃W級市場抽住一包二包,行黻梟黿漲迄X哩路返屋企.另外幾條廣告公司黻狗鷓冪成年都搵唔到單生意,好似話推銷電話成幾個月都賣唔到幾隻.真係慘!你話移民移成咁有乜牁N思唧?半世長啦啦重希望乜?
--希望等到九七見到香港U証明自己移民翵M定係硠o!

送多兩則給大家:

1993年6月其中一則:
--有冇睇齊瓦哥醫生呀你?
--我冇病呀,點解要睇佢唧?

1993年5月其中一則:
--我俾屋企個新請嚜咿f吹到漲!鶪擏琤s佢沖杯咖啡俾我,佢沖好薑S冇奶又冇糖,我問佢點解佢話:'SIR,THIS IS COFFEE.IF YOU WANT MILK AND SUGAR IN IT,YOU SHOULD SAY COFFEE WITH MILK AND SUGAR,'我冇聲出啦,咁就叫佢去姪}同埋奶.哈!點知佢就叫果樣做果樣,冇城芤憮琝.於是我就叫佢GET ME A SPOON PLEASE啦! 哈!點知佢就咫鉹什磥H飲湯黻芤.我問佢匙羹大過杯點用.點知佢話:'THIS IS A SPOON,SIR.'我於是走去咫銌荌芤蟆楟\:咁呢支係乜呀,佢笑笑地話:'SIR,THIS IS A COFFEE SPOON SIR.'真係俾佢整蠱到飛起.
--我諗你個賓妹基本上係睇你唔起,認為你冇文化.
--我諗都係!
--咁你重打算繼唔繼續請佢呀?
--我出多髐@個月糧俾佢,臨走之前叫鼳\去搵呀劉家傑.
--或者詹德隆,蕭芳芳同埋狄寶娜摩亞都得.

最後一則,容許我偏心D特別送俾正在唸中醫的關麗珊小姐:

1992年8月其中一則:
--我鶪擖h睇個專科醫生--------聽講話佢屩撜N全港都係數一數二--------哈!佢龠E所吊住幅字寫住:'華陀再見',呢個醫生都幾有幽默感過喎!諗落.
--點解咁講呢?
--咁唔係咩?有鼳\我地可以同華陀講拜拜,佢都幾含蓄丫!

支持關麗珊!關麗珊好!

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