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Date Posted: Fri, Jan 08 - 5:32:59pm
Author: amy
Subject: My shot at a fan fiction!

so i was suffering from withdrawls and decided to attempt a fan fiction...i hope you all like it:)it takes place the day of the wedding and is how i had hoped it would have went!



“Clint I’m sorry, but I can’t marry you.”

As soon as Nora uttered those words, murmurs spread throughout the church. Nora tried to ignore them as her heart and mind waged a war inside of her.
Why can’t you marry him? He’s safe, dependable, and cares for you deeply!
Yeah, but he’s not Bo.
Like that has mattered before.
It always has, but that kiss last night brought it out of the darkness.

“I’m sorry, and I know I owe you an explanation, but I just can’t marry you. It wouldn’t be fair to you with the doubts that I have.”

With that Nora ran. She ran from the heartbreak that was vivid in Clint’s eyes, the unanswered questions and disbelief that rang out amongst the crowd, and Bo. She didn’t even know what his reaction was to all of this because she couldn’t bear to look at him right now, couldn’t bear to see what his reaction had been. She had no idea where she was going, but she couldn’t deal with anyone.

As soon as she was in her car, she wanted to break down, but she knew she couldn’t yet. She drove endlessly with no destination in mind until at last she arrived there, the place that persistently played a role in her life since she came to Llanview. Sara, Drew, Colin, and now Asa all rested here, each one having played a key role in how she had gotten to this stage. She assumed no one would find her here. Heck, why would anyone think of running to a cemetery, but she knew there was a reason why she was here. There had to be.

Time became nonexistent to Nora as she sat at each grave site pondering her past, the past that seemed to inevitably revolve around Bo. Her heart ached for him, an ache that never went away, but only grew stronger as the years had gone by. She thought she had learned to ignore it and move on, but clearly even after ten years she had gotten nowhere. She briefly smiled as she remembered his lips on hers last night. She still loved him passionately and she knew it, but she refused to allow herself to truly feel it. She couldn’t, not will all those years of anger, resentment, and untrustworthiness that had radiated in his eyes whenever he looked at her. One kiss couldn’t replace that truth.

“Dangit Bo! Why did you have to kiss me? Why couldn’t you just leave it alone? Isn’t it bad enough that I was never able to get over you? Was it another way to make sure I was never happy?”

With that Nora fell to the ground next to Asa’s grave and sobbed. The tears never seemed to end as day turned into night.
*******************************************
Bo had been driving around endlessly searching for Nora. He knew he was probably the last person she wanted, but he had to, no he needed, to know she was okay. His conversation with Clint still lingered in the back of his mind. The pain that he had seen in his eyes as Bo had told him the truth and of last night: his feelings for Nora and the kiss they had shared. The pain had soon turned to anger as Clint lashed out at him. To be truthful, Bo knew he deserved it. It was his entire fault. If he hadn’t been so ignorant and stupid, none of this would have happened. Why couldn’t he have just let himself realize that he had forgiven her a long time ago? Instead he had held onto stubbornness and anger. The same stubbornness he had inherited from his father, and the same anger that had broken Nora’s heart repeatedly. He had allowed both of those things to hide the fact that he never had stopped loving her. He just had to find her to tell her that if it wasn’t too late already.
*******************************************
Bo was at a loss for where Nora was. He thought he had known her well enough to find her, but that clearly wasn’t the case anymore. Feeling defeated, he decided he needed to visit the one person who had always believed he and Nora belonged together. Walking along the path to the grave Bo silently wished for an answer to his problem, and relief flooded through him when it was answered. He chuckled to himself at the thought of how fast it had been answered. Concern quickly replaced that relief as he realized here state. His heart broke as he watcher here sobbing and he was unsure if he should make his presence know, or to leave her be. The answer, though, was quite apparent because he knew he couldn’t leave her alone in misery.

Nora became aware of his presence even before he made himself known. She quickly sat up brushing the tears away. “Go away Bo. I have nothing to say to you right now, and I certainly don’t need you telling me off for hurting your brother.”

Bo was shocked. Had it really come to this? A pain shot through his heart at the idea that she thought he was only here to yell at her. “I’m not here for my brother. I’m here for you Nora. You may not believe it, but I’m not leaving until you know that.”

After hours of crying, she didn’t have any strength left to fight. “Fine, but I’m not talking to you nor am I listening since you refuse to respect my wishes.” Truthfully what she wanted was to run to him, run into his arms to make the day disappear like she had a long time ago.

“Oh Red what have I done?”

A gasp came from her mouth at the mention of her nickname. It gave her the strength to stand and face him while fresh tears began to fall. “What did you call me?”

“Call you? I called y…oh Red.” He had just let it slip out. It had seemed so natural to do so. Her reaction made him unsure of himself. Did he just make a mistake?

“You haven’t called me that in years.” That one word brought a flood of memories to her mind. She literally felt like her heart was being ripped out of her chest. “Why did you say it Bo? Am I not in enough pain already without you having to remind me of what was between us?”

“I didn’t do it to hurt you. I unintentionally said it, but to be honest I love you Nora. This isn’t how I wanted to tell you, but obviously I just can’t hide it anymore.”

The words were what she had wanted to hear forever, but too much time had passed for her to believe it. “This isn’t some sick joke you can play Bo. It’s unnecessarily cruel of you. I thought our friendship had become something, but you certainly still don’t care.”

“This isn’t a joke. I do love you. I never stopped. You gotta believe me!”

“How can you say that? You can’t love me if you don’t forgive me, and you have repeatedly made it clear to me you never could!”

“Oh honey, I'm sorry. I have been such a fool, and all it has done is hurt you. To be honest, completely honest, I forgave you a long time ago. I just held onto the anger so I couldn’t see that I still loved you. You see Red, I have never stopped loving you. I just hope you can see the truth, and that I haven’t ruined any chance we might have.”

Nora turned around unwilling to allow him to see what his words were doing to her. “I just don’t know if I can believe you Bo.”

“Then look into my eyes. You once believed the truth in them before.” With that Bo turned her around to face him. Cupping her face with his hands, he tilted her head towards his. “Come on Red, look. Look into my eyes and you will know what I say is true.”

She didn’t want to look, didn’t want to see the lies to his words. She had seen the ugly truth in his eyes so many times. She just couldn’t handle to see it again right now.

“Red just look. Come on honey believe me, trust me, trust our love.”

Hearing that word again held the power to make her look. Bo could see the shock in her eyes when she finally realized and believed him. He could see into her soul and knew she loved him too. Words didn’t need to be spoken to see it. With that, Bo pulled her to him and kissed her. Years of heartbreak, longing, and passion seared through their lips, as they began to find each other again.
Just as soon as it began, though, Nora pushed him away. She tried to put as much space between the two of them as she could, but his presence seemed to suffocate her no matter what. Hyperventilation set in as her emotions became too much for her. She couldn’t breathe with him there.

“Why did you push me away? I know you love me. I saw it in your eyes.”

“It doesn’t matter Bo. One night of you saying you love me can’t erase all the pain. It can’t erase the past.”

“It can’t or you don’t want it to?”

“Dangit Bo! I can’t let myself love you because I won’t survive losing you again. I barely survived the first time! Is that what you wanted to hear? I love you too much to lose you again.” Nora became hysterical with her admission. Bo rushed to her side taking her into his arms trying to take the pain away from her.

“I know you don’t believe me, but I'm not going to leave you again. I know what it is like to not have you in my life. I wont let either one of us go through that hell ever again. We belong together. I have never loved anyone as much as I have loved you, and I know I love you now more than I ever have. Our love is so resilient that even ten years couldn’t break our bond. That same bond lives on through our son. Trust me Nora, trust in our love.”

“Oh Bo, I can’t even trust in myself anymore.”

“Do you want me to leave? As much as it would kill me to take you out of my arms, I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have. I’d understand if you need time. I certainly took mine.”

The thought of Bo leaving was unbearable to her. The truth was obvious, and Nora let herself accept it. She couldn’t ask Bo to leave even if she tried. It was too late to try and keep her heart. She looked up at Bo and her heart just swelled at the look of love in his eyes that just seemed to pierce through her very being. Yes, it definitely was too late, seventeen years too late. She gave in to her emotions and kissed him with a raw fierceness. They both gave in to their love and together healed their hearts. The world had become right once again.

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Replies:

[> Re: My shot at a fan fiction! -- rosie, Fri, Jan 08 - 6:26:53pm

I thought it was a great FF...I really liked it!


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[> Re: My shot at a fan fiction! -- Lana, Fri, Jan 08 - 6:50:56pm

Much better than the wedding we saw Amy!!!!


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[> Re: My shot at a fan fiction! -- meg, Fri, Jan 08 - 7:36:29pm

Love it! please keep writing!


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[> Re: My shot at a fan fiction! -- Wanda, Fri, Jan 08 - 7:47:02pm

I agree Lana would have been nice if the wedding day ended this way but its not a soap without the drama LOL. Amy this is great I love it!


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[> Re: My shot at a fan fiction! -- Lisa, Fri, Jan 08 - 7:54:38pm

That was great I really enjoyed reading it:)


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[> Re: My shot at a fan fiction! -- Chastity, Fri, Jan 08 - 7:56:30pm

Nice FF Amy! It was definitely a great twist to what should have been.


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[> Re: My shot at a fan fiction! -- Deanne, Fri, Jan 08 - 8:03:13pm

I did like your take on Nora's feelings...that she wouldn't survive losing Bo again. I hope that she bears her heart and soul to him about that.


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[> Re: My shot at a fan fiction! -- Shelley, Fri, Jan 08 - 8:05:24pm

Great job! I loved it! I wish that was the real wedding scenes!


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[> Re: My shot at a fan fiction! -- Jan2, Fri, Jan 08 - 8:43:39pm

I really liked it Amy...you did a good job on it.....I hope you will write more to this story...


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[> Re: My shot at a fan fiction! -- Heather, Sun, Jan 10 - 12:37:32pm

WOW Amy LOVED your version of Nora and Clint's wedding! You know now that we know you can write FF this well we will be demanding more from you!


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[> Re: My shot at a fan fiction! -- Nikki, Sun, Jan 10 - 1:59:58pm

I love any version ending with Nora and Clint not getting married! I love yours even better b/c not only do C/N not get married but B/N get back together in such a passionate way!!! YAY!


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