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Subject: Re: 戀愛季節


Author:
佚名
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Date Posted: 20:15:49 06/06/03 Fri
In reply to: 闇晨 's message, "戀愛季節" on 19:10:00 05/25/03 Sun
 以下只是我的個人意見，請不要介懷...
~內容方面不俗，然而文筆方面仍需改善，有些地方不大通順，略帶口語...除了對話外，其實可以加入一些各方面的描寫，令文章更有色彩和吸引力...(因為真的很多對話，有點像看劇本..)
不過整體來說都不錯的...
還有，下回可以隔行和寫長一點嗎??有點短啊...
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Re: 戀愛季節闇晨05:10:18 06/09/03 Mon

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