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Date Posted: Sat, Sep 15, 02:39:06pm CST
Author: DeanB
Author Host/IP: 74-46-204-222.dr01.jrvl.il.frontiernet.net / 74.46.204.222
Subject: Re: Politics
In reply to: jerry 's message, "Politics" on Sat, Sep 15, 01:52:11pm CST

>THERE IS A BUNCH OF POLITICS GOING ON HERE.
>I HATE IT.
>NOT A LITTLE, A LOT!
>HANG ON.
>THE RULES ARE CHANGING.
>A NEW DAY, A NEW WAY!
>TWO WEEKS FROM TODAY IS THE WORLD HUNT!
>I PLAN ON BEING THERE, VERY VOCAL!
>
>HERE IS A LITTLE PREVIEW.
>NOW YOU MAY HAVE A SMALL INKLING HOW MUCH I HATE THIS.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you
>just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out
>on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't
>know.
>
>I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a telephone
>call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and
>dialed it.
>
>A man answered, saying 'Hello.'
>I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak
>with Robin Carter?'
>
>Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't
>believe that anyone could be so rude.
>
>I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her.
>
>I had transposed the last two digits of her phone
>number.
>
>After hanging up with her, I decided to call the
>'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the
>phone, I yelled, 'You're an asshole!' and hung up.
>
>I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next
>to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of
>weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad
>day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an asshole!'
>It always cheered me up.
>
>When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my
>therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So,
>I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith
>from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if
>you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'
>He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone. I quickly
>called him back and said, 'That's because you're an
>asshole!'
>
>One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into
>a parking spot.
>
>Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the
>spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and
>yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot.
>
>The idiot ignored me. I noticed a 'For Sale' sign in
>his car window, so I wrote down his number.
>
>A couple of days later, right after calling the first
>asshole (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought
>that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.
>
>I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'
>
>Yes, It is.'
>
>'Can you tell me where I can see it?'
>
>'Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow
>house, and the car's parked right out in front.'
>
>'What's your name?' I asked.
>
>'My name is Don Hansen,' he said.
>
>'Whens a good time to catch you, Don?'
>
>'I'm home every evening after five.'
>
>'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'
>
>'Yes?'
>
>'Don, you're an asshole.' Then I hung up, and added
>his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a
>problem, I had two assholes to call.
>
>Then I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.
>'Hello.'
>
>'You're an asshole!' (But I didn't hang up.)
>
>'Are you still there?' he asked.
>
>'Yeah,' I said.
>
>'Stop calling me,' he screamed.
>
>'Make me,' I said.
>
>'Who are you?' he asked.
>
>'My name is Don Hansen.'
>
>'Yeah? Where do you live?'
>
>'Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow
>house, with my black Beamer parked in front.'
>
>He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had
>better start saying your prayers.'
>
>I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole.' Then
>I called Asshole #2.
>
>'Hello?' he said.
>
>'Hello, asshole,' I said.
>
>He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'
>
>'You'll what?' I said.
>
>'I'll kick your ass,' he exclaimed.
>
>I answered, 'Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm
>coming over right now.'
>
>Then I hung up and immediately called the police,
>saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that
>I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
>
>Then I called Channel 11 News about the gang war going
>down on West 34th Street.
>
>I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th
>street.
>
>There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each
>other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter
>and a news crew.
>
>NOW I feel much better. You know, this anger
>management stuff really works.
>_________________
>
>JERRY
Jerry this is much better than the red eyed demond with a sledge hammer! DeanB

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