---> -- Play Me Please

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Subject: --->

Author:
Dorjan

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Date Posted: 13:41:57 08/13/04 Fri
In reply to: intreasted 's message, "Re: Kyan - Human Shifter" on 12:55:56 08/13/04 Fri

I like your details a lot! ;p But I have two beefs. (Mmmm, beef. ^.^) But firstly, he wouldn't be allowed to guard because he's a slave. But his human would make a good one. ;p

Snow leopards are smaller cats, so he can fit on the sofa. Which actually gives me a cute picture. ;p But Kyan couldn't kill Dorjan in one bite, likewise for Dorjan killing Kyan. Vampires heal themselves, and shifters heal themselves everytime they shift between forms (if they're good enough, Kyan is). But as far as strength goes, Dorjan's majorly got the upper hand. And Kyan's a bit more a scared-cat in his kitty form. Think abused cat. And clingy human. Because that's kinda what he is. No big deal really, I just shoulda written more in his description. Evil Voy doesn't let you type as much as you wanna. *whacks Voy*

The only other thing was the fact that you didn't use enough periods or commas. You're really great at writting, but all the sentences run together without there being a stop for them. Did that make any sense at all?

I'd love for you to take Kyan, but I'd really like to see what you just gave me edited a smidgen (SP? is that even really a word?) by adding a period or comma or a few please.

Pretty please? *hopes not too much to ask*

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: --->	Playre	12:53:00 08/14/04 Sat