Re: looking for feedback on a poem -- Pomegranate Words Forum

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Subject: Re: looking for feedback on a poem

Author:
Olivia

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Date Posted: 12:39:29 06/07/05 Tue
In reply to: GraVitybound 's message, "looking for feedback on a poem" on 08:39:29 12/29/04 Wed

>Hello all my first visit to the site but i've been
>writing for a little and saw the contest and thought
>i'd take a look. However im not interested in winning
>classes so i thought i'd just post my poem here and
>see what u guys think. ALL comments welcome good or
>bad, tell what ya think!
>
>thanx, here it is:
>
>"A Lost Rose"
>
>Can life be good?
>Not as it should,
>Things you love most
>Vanish like ghosts.
>
>You find love�
>Sent from above?
>It�s ripped away;
>It doesn�t stay;
>What can I say?
>It�s gone.
>
>Destruction is caused by fear,
>And causes others to tear.
>
>I�ll never feel that touch;
>I see her at my height,
>And wake to tears at night
>Cause I�ve lost what I love so much.
>
>She�s gone,
>And fear for her safety
>Will always wake me.
>I can�t sleep,
>But it�s already dawn.
>
>Kept alive by promise,
>Forced to live this life,
>Facing unending strife,
>What kind of life is this?
>
>
>yea it's a little depressing... oh well i was
>depressed when i wrote this lol anyways im happy now
>and i dunno why im rambling on so im just gonna be
>quiet now, arright? cool

I really liked it! It's a very good poem. I think you could get it published for eal if you wanted. Now read my story! J/K

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