+ Losing ground and falling faster+
Post
+ Into a life that no one should have to live+
Father called him:
Ethan Walczak
Real name:
Zachary Abernethy
Goes by:
Rusé
Age:
19/20
Gender:
Male
Height:
6ft
Weight:
About 150lbs
Hair:
Brown
Eyes:
Green.
Appearance:
He has dark brown curly hair that at the moment falls to about his shoulders having not been able to get it cut in a while, at the moment it has streaks of blood-red running through it. He is well built, and just looking at him one would tell he is rather strong. The build of a fighter, yet he has a mildness about him, that clearly says he is far from a killer. Emerald green eyes, which alter in color according to his moods, surroundings, or clothes, alternating form a lighter green, to a green that can appear almost black. He has his mother's complexion, being fair skinned, which often means it shows dirt, or blood easily. He has a scar that marks his right cheek, it cutting over his right eyes, blinding him in it, and then it continues down over his chin, down his throat, and down his arm, eventually disappearing under the clothing down his back, though it wraps around to cut across his stomach stopping at his lower waist. He has a matching one that cuts diagonally down his back, cutting from his right shoulder to his waist on the left side. he has numerous other scars that mark his body, including scaring around the wrists and ankles. Some of the scars are from blades, others seem to be from ropes, or chains or something, and others seem to be burns. His right arm, and leg seem to pain him, and one can often see him favor them after extreme work, or strain. His clothes are old, not what most would consider presentable. With rips and tears from wear and abuse, the color so faded you can't tell what it started out as. He is well built, but still way to skinny for his own good, at about 6ft nothing, and weighing at barely 150 pounds, he often thought to be sickly. He had always been a small child though, and it surprising to even him that he grew to the height he did. Especially since he shows such obvious signs of being malnourished most of his life.
Personality:
When one looks at him, they almost seem to automatically expect some wild, untamed, feral individual, who is not only temperamental, but uncontrollable. This suspicion is only backed up once they hear about his past and what he lived through. As if the experiences would turn him 'bad'. They are rather surprised when they find a quiet, but intelligent individual instead. Though maybe not he warmest or friendliest of people, he is far from a dangerous person. Most people who do get to know him, often label him as a 'huge teddy bear', the 'gentle giant' more then anything. Often more withdrawn then down right cold or mean, he is most often pushed aside and forgotten about. It seeming that he takes after his mother in most aspects despite his environment (Nature rather then nurture in other words), there barely seems to be a hostile bone in his body. He is more of a loner though, he having learned by now that people judge and 'think badly' of him. He is said to have self-esteem issues. Thinking lowly of himself, and because of this think people will think the same. was brainwashed into thinking he is a 'bad person' and that no one would want anything to do with him. Said to lack proper people skills, and has little to no idea how to face them. Has little to no idea how to go about talking to strangers, which often gets him labeled a freak. He has a somewhat dark personality, and it is often said that if it wasn't for his children he would have committed suicide long ago. Pessimistic personality sees bad in just about everything that is good. The only thing he sees complete goodness in is his daughter and son. He is guilty of judging people, and he often judges negatively, and because of this he ends up fearing people. He suffers from depression, though he tries to hide it from those around him, not wanting most to know that there is anything wrong with him. He also suffers from 'Panic Disorder', which is easily set off. It is not easy to get him to open up, most consider it impossible, this is because most don't try. It is possible, and once one does manage to break through his shell, they end up finding a loving, caring, yet terrified individual. He is very loyal and loving to those few he lets in, but as stated this is nearly impossible. Seeming to think that most people are 'out to get him' this coming from experience having found out most people will only end up hurting you, having most of his 'friends' or more liked those he let himself love, having turned and betrayed him in some way or other. In school he was the kid that was shunned, and made fun of. Mocked and teased, for his odd behavior, no one ever bothering to get to know him. So it not really a surprise he dropped out in 5th grade, though he kept himself up to date with all the school work the best he could. When he was in school, his grades were always straight A's, he having spent a lot of time on studying. Despite this he was never really noticed in school, being to quiet, and withdrawn. His dad always teaching him that it 'better to be quiet'. "People like quiet kids, kids that don't make a fuss, they don't notice kids that are quiet and keep to themselves, and pass, even if they don't pass with great grades. But the better the grades the better. This is why he is the way he is, quiet and reserved. He is not likely to talk about what is bothering him, and he is more likely to ignore something then admit it is a problem. He does take after his father in one aspect through, in the fact he can when pushed far enough get violent, but unless you are threatening a loved one of his, he will never get violent with a person. He is more likely to take it out on a punching bag, or a pillow if there is nothing else around, or in the worst case scenario himself. Most of the time though, he gets submissive and distant, and it takes a lot to anger him to that point, and he has since learned to control these actions too, especially around his children. He is a good fighter, and it has gotten him into a bit of trouble, though he has never once started a fight himself. he only fights to protect his friends and 'close family' (that means children). He is highly suspicious and untrusting of females, since two have ditched him with new born babies. His children are his life through, and he would do anything for them. He is paranoid to an extreme though, he is distrustful of strangers, and he feels that people are out to get him, but on top of that he has a fear of himself getting people hurt. He tends to think negatively on things, and himself, and has a very low self esteem.
He suffers from:
Diagnosed
Panic Disorder:
Social Anxiety Disorder:
Agoraphobia
Not diagnosed but it is suspected he has
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Clinical Depression
Likely he has
Avoidant Personality Disorder
Click here
Kids:
Cheyne (Daughter age 4)
Zachary (Son age 2)
Mckayla (adopted daughter 1 almost 2)
Pets
Ein and Zwei
Past:
it touchy don't ask unless he knows you
Onlook, another day turned into night
And there's a question what this one will be like
So coming home to face again what he fears
While the words rip from his skin
Time crawls as he dreams of leaving this place
Someday to have his own family
But now the world is cold and only he knows
What it's like to live in this pain
One time he would love to hear his mother apologize
For all the things she's said
One time he would love to see his father's
Anger die within
Tears fall from the eyes of the young girl in her room
Forced to take this abuse
The old man's home again with a fight she will never win
Her mother's on the floor and the blood is on the floor again
One time she would love to see her father drop the bottle
And she wonders if he ever will
One time she would love to see a smile
On her mother's face again
In the eyes of a child where they never lie
You can see hope for tomorrow
And the innocence that never dies
They're brought into this world torn in two
Raised in the hatred created by you
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free
Blackbird fly
Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night
Blackbird fly
Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
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