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- REVENGE IS BEST SERVED COLD AND MESSY -- Christopher Antony Meade (Laughing a lot), Thu, September 04 2014, 7:35:02
This story was written as a result of being asked to write something containing the following words
crash, violets, banana split, summons.
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I should have guessed that it was a bad idea to try eating a banana split after drinking ten double vodkas and Coca Cola. The day had started out fine but when I listened to that message from my, soon to be ex, girlfriend, telling me that she was in love with that rat Roscoe Cribsbum and she was breaking up with me, I just had to hit some bars.
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Four drinks more and I could see that the barman was trying to close the bar. He just said, “Yeah man. Whatever” when I tried to make him see that being called Mrs Cribsbum meant that there was some justice in the world after all.
I staggered out to the street and my drink and love-sick brain started to crave some food to fill up my stomach. Dinner had been forgotten in my rush to achieve alcoholic solace and I suddenly got the urge to eat something. There was a small kiosk on the end of the street that sold ice-cream and my unsteady vodka driven legs propelled my inebriated carcase in its direction. I remembered the lovely banana splits that my mother used to buy me when I was a kid. The thought of that comfort food from my youthful days added to my depression, but in a drunkenly comforting way.
Five minutes later I was reeling from side to side of the footpath, slurping noisily at the delicious confection and not really watching where I was going, totally forgetting about the florist stall at the end of the street. The roses, carnations, dahlias and violets had been placed in little buckets on the pathway, the better to attract the attentions of more sober flower-lovers. I being neither a flower-lover or sober, of coursed tripped over the wretched blooms. With a crash, the entire display went flying all over the street. The flower seller was throwing up his arms and shouting at me in very angry Italian. As I tried to disentangle myself from the mass of flowers and buckets, realisation dawned that there was a pair of legs in a policeman’s uniform standing over me. The grinning face of love-rat/Police Constable Cribsbum swam before my spinning eyes. He had his notebook and pen in his loathsome paws.
“I think drunk and disorderly+wanton destruction of a flower stall should get you a nice fat fine” he was saying. I could hear the triumph in his hated voice as he wrote out the summons.
“You can add assaulting a slimeball cop with a banana split” I shouted as I squashed the remains of my dessert all over his astonished face.
The remembrance of that moment of delicious revenge will live with me for the rest of my life. A million pound fine won’t bother me now.
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- Outcry over banning of embarrassing book about the Obamas -- Gillian Assonge (Determined), Sun, March 24 2013, 6:09:23
At a recent emergency Cabinet meeting held in the Oval Office at the White House in Washington DC, the subject under discussion was how to counter the embarrassing revelations about the private life of President Barack Obama that has been made public, by the publication of the book “The Zombie the Cat and Barack Obama”, written by that arch whistleblower Christopher Antony Meade. The placing into the public domain of such information as that the President of the country is descended from a shape shifting alien has been creating larger and larger ripples in the body politic of the United States of America. The embarrassing rumours about the appendage Barack Obama keeps in his trousers and the stories of how his wife’s snoring is starting to cause the plaster to fall off the ceilings in the White House are also starting to cause governmental disquiet.
Accordingly a resolution was adopted that this shameful book should be banned in the United States and that an extradition request, for the offending author, should be made to the British government, (Meade is resident in the United Kingdom).
This means that there is probably only a limited time left for people to purchase and enjoy “The Zombie, the Cat and Barack Obama”. I urge everyone, who reads this, to get and enjoy the book. Then petition your local representative, (no matter which country you are from), to oppose this attack on free expression.
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- Take good pussy into your bed but avoid bad pussy -- Christopher Anton (Convulsed with laughter), Mon, March 11 2013, 10:25:21
Not every pussy can be a pleasure to stroke. The pussy that attempted to get into the bed of President Barack Obama was definitely not a very lovely pussy. This was a shape-shifting zombie pussy that had designs on the presidential brain, rather than on any more pleasure-inducing organ.
The fact that this decomposing, but alive, monstrosity launched its attack while the President and First Lady were staying in Buckingham Palace just added to the terror caused by this mouldy pussy. The last thing any man, or indeed woman, needs is to be sharing their bed with a smelly and ravenous pussy.
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- Zombie terror. Attacked by a brain-eating monster -- Christopher Anton (Creased with laughter and horror.), Wed, March 06 2013, 11:58:33
An encounter with a brain-eating zombie is one of the most terrifying and often lethal experiences anyone can expect to endure. The process of having the top of the head bitten off and the “grey matter” chewed on by one of these revolting un-dead is not something that any sane person would relish.
That is exactly the fate that was planned for United States President Barack Obama and his fragrant wife Michelle, during their state visit to the United Kingdom last year. The creature that attacked them had been hiding in their rooms at Buckingham Palace. Of all the trials suffered by this international statesman, this must surely have been the worst. Debating with Mitt Romney would be a picnic compared with this life and sanity threatening encounter.
So, you may ask how the President and First Lady came to be the intended dinner for the brain-eater in the first place and did the zombie succeed in chomping at the hippocampus of the chief executive. (Some say it’s obvious that he did). The answer can be found in the very funny political satire “The Zombie, the Cat and Barack Obama” by that master of the comic grotesque, Christopher Antony Meade.
I won’t give away any more info on the comic delights of this very funny book. I can guarantee, however, that you will never look at the world the same way again after reading it.
Read the complete reviews and
Sample the hilarious first chapters FREE on AMAZON.
United States.
http://goo.gl/ckqfk
United Kingdom (Amazon UK)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B009CYBTC8/ref=tag_dpp_yt_edpp_rt#tags
You can also buy it from many other online retailers. Priced at less than the cost of a packet of ten cigarettes.
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- The choice of authors. A brilliant and funny book -- Christopher Anton (Convulsed with laughter), Tue, March 05 2013, 18:04:04
What other writers say about “The Zombie, the Cat and Barack Obama”
"The Zombie, the Cat and Barack Obama" follows the style of classic gothic novels but adds modern-day anachronisms that lend the book its unexpected wit.
My only disappointment was that Meade hasn't given us more. The Zombie, the Cat and Barack Obama is one of those books that you wish would never end. If you loved "The Zombie, the Cat and Barack Obama," contact Meade and urge him to create a zombie trilogy.
Mary Shelley, Bram Stoker and Anne Rice, watch out! There's a new Gothic horror novelist on the scene”!
Frank Sanello, author of "The Knights Templars: God's Warriors, the Devil's Bankers"
“It's a fun read, full of interesting twists and turns that NO WAY you will see coming! It's got something for everyone - laughs, tragedy, fantasy, zombies, the recession, Hitler.
You'll recommend this book to your pals because they will want to know the true story of history too. It's outlandish and scary”!
Lela Cargill, author and homemaker.
“Mr Meade has an uncompromising view the world that almost defies discussion and is unlike any other. For the squeamish, be prepared and warned that this is not the usual. Behind it all is the brilliant mind of Mr Meade who is always a step ahead of all those fortunate to be in his presence. Get ready for a wild ride that will leave you wishing for more. Let' hope this is the beginning of a string of novels that will stand the test of time”.
Reynold Jay, author of “Born to be Rich” and “Lean against the Wind”.
Read the complete reviews and
Sample the hilarious first chapters FREE on AMAZON.
United States.
http://goo.gl/ckqfk
United Kingdom (Amazon UK)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B009CYBTC8/ref=tag_dpp_yt_edpp_rt#tags
You can also buy it from many other online retailers. Priced at less than the cost of a packet of ten cigarettes.
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- At home with the Queen at Buckingham Palace -- Christopher Anton (Convulsed with laughter), Mon, March 04 2013, 12:42:15
It can be difficult enough to get to sleep at Buckingham Palace, what with the noise from marching bands rehearsing the latest royal ceremony, not to speak of the myriad of servants trying to do their cleaning jobs around the palace while the Royal Family try to snatch some rest. Somebody is always managing to knock over a Ming vase, or drop some silverware, just when Her Majesty is about to drop off. A maid once trod on the tail of a corgi one night and the startled yelping of the dog made sleep an impossibility for the much tried monarch and her long suffering consort.
But all these disturbances were as nothing compared with the shenanigans that occurred the night that President Barack Obama and his wife Michelle stayed overnight in the palace. The snoring of the American First Lady was likened, by those unfortunate enough to hear it that night, to a combination to the drone of a Lancaster bomber allied with the chuffing of an old fashioned steam train. When this cacophony was succeeded by ear-piercing screaming and shouting coming from the suite occupied by the presidential couple, it was more than the elderly royal couple could endure. Her Majesty, accompanied by Prince Philip, stormed down to the guest apartment and hammered on the door.
What was causing the disturbance? What awful sight met the eyes of Her Majesty and His Royal Highness when the door was opened?
The answer can be found in “The Zombie, the Cat and Barack Obama”, the outrageously irreverent political satire by Christopher Antony Meade. The answers to many other questions of the age, such as, what really happened to Hitler’s body and what embarrassing secret is hidden beneath Barack Obama’s trousers can be found there too. You will probably be surprised and you will definitely be entertained.
Read the complete reviews of this insanely funny book and
Sample the hilarious first chapters FREE on AMAZON.
United States.
http://goo.gl/ckqfk
United Kingdom (Amazon UK)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B009CYBTC8/ref=tag_dpp_yt_edpp_rt#tags
You can also buy it from many other online retailers. Priced at less than the cost of a packet of ten cigarettes.
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- Michelle Obama and her embarrassing secret. -- Christopher Anton (Convulsed with laughter), Sun, March 03 2013, 17:53:43
When Michelle Obama sleeps, she snores so loudly that the walls of the White House almost shake.
Her nocturnal eruptions especially caused embarrassment during the state visit, which the presidential couple paid to Queen Elizabeth II in London last year. Nobody at Buckingham Palace could get any sleep. The Queen and Prince Philip had to hammer on the bedroom door, in order to command some peace. The snoring of the First Lady was not the only problem that had to be dealt with, that night in the palace. When Michelle started screaming, things really were becoming very dangerous.
What caused Mrs Obama to yell like a baby on that fateful night? Was it something to do with the secret that Barack keeps hidden in his trousers? What is that big secret?
The answer to these and a host of other intriguing mysteries can be found in the devastatingly funny political satire, “The Zombie, the Cat and Barack Obama” by Christopher Antony Meade. You’ve probably guessed, but there is a psychopathic brain-eating zombie in the book as well and it is neither Mitt Romney nor Hilary Clinton.
Read the complete reviews of this devastatingly irreverent novella and
sample the hilarious first chapters FREE on AMAZON.
United States.
http://goo.gl/ckqfk
United Kingdom (Amazon UK)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B009CYBTC8/ref=tag_dpp_yt_edpp_rt#tags
You can also buy it from many other online retailers. Priced at less than the cost of a packet of ten cigarettes.
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- Horrific Zombie attack on Barack and Michelle Obama -- Christopher Anton (Creased with laughter and horror.), Sun, March 03 2013, 8:13:35
To be attacked by a flesh eating zombie can be a very frightening thing. I know that when Barack and Michelle Obama encountered one of the ravening undead they were terrified out of their wits. Did the monster eat their brains? The president’s political opponents would say that he had no brains in the first place and the zombie would be faced with an empty skull.
So how this this horrifically gruesome episode occur in the lives of the First Couple? Did the zombie succeed in his nefarious aim of dining on the presidential grey matter? The answer to this question can be found in the amazing new book, “The Zombie, the Cat and Barack Obama” by that master of political satire, Christopher Antony Meade. The answers to some of the other great questions of the age, such as how the Illuminati conspiracy really works and what the secret is that Barack Obama keeps hidden in his trousers.
Don’t be kept in the dark about the things “our betters” would like to keep hidden. Get this book and then laugh at their pretensions instead.
Read the complete reviews and
Sample the hilarious first chapters FREE on AMAZON.
United States.
http://goo.gl/ckqfk
United Kingdom (Amazon UK)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B009CYBTC8/ref=tag_dpp_yt_edpp_rt#tags
You can also buy it from many other online retailers. Priced at less than the cost of a packet of ten cigarettes.
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- One of the funniest books ever written. Not Wikipedia, Facebook or Twitter -- Christopher Anton (Laughing myself inside out.), Sat, October 20 2012, 9:43:35
When I first saw this book advertised, I was reluctant to buy it. I'd never heard of the author Christopher Antony Meade and I was reluctant to spend any of my hard earned funds on his novella. After reading the excellent review that accompanies the advertisement, I decided to take the plunge and buy the book. It was a decision I have not regretted. A book of 95 pages should take about four hours to read. “The Zombie, the Cat and Barack Obama” occupied my time for about 10 hours. It was just so funny I had to keep putting it down in order to recover from the laughing.
I'm not sure whether the author really is telling the truth when he makes his outrageous claims. You can be certain, though; that there will be very embarrassed faces in the homes of the great and good if this book gets widespread circulation.
It starts off as a conventional enough zombie story. The actual zombie is a cut above the usual run-of-the-mill graveyard refugees. For one thing, he's a very talented classical pianist. When he moves in with a rather naive writer in Wimbledon in South London, he sets in train a series of events that will ultimately bring him to the highest house in the land and an encounter with a rather hapless Barack Obama. Suffice it to say that American brains are on the menu.
Barack Obama also figures large in this book. The story of his ancestry is as strange as it is funny. Osama bin laden is revealed to have been a schoolgirl fetishist. The tale of how he met his end is very far removed from the official version. It makes the Navy seal’s account seem rather pallid as well.
The reader is also treated to some very original and hilarious explanations for such modern controversies, as the real purpose of area 51, or the very surprising cause of chem trails, among others.
I have to say that this book is an imaginative and comic triumph. My only regret about it is that it came to an end. I hope I don't have to wait too long for the sequel. Mind you, I will have to find some way of stopping this laughing. Otherwise, I will be suing Christopher Antony Meade for putting me into this state in the first place.
Available on Amazon.
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http://goo.gl/ckqfk
United Kingdom (Amazon UK)
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You can also buy it from many other online retailers. Priced at less than the cost of a packet of cigarettes.
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- Funny Bible Stories. Not wikipedia. -- Francis Meade. (Wickedly Witty.), Tue, March 08 2011, 11:18:03
For too many people the bible is a dull and dusty book, full of staid stories about long dead prophets, and overencumbered with rules that we are all obliged to obey, in order to avoid eternal hellfire.
But there is more to these stories, sometimes, than sometimes meets the eye. The characters, and the situations, can in fact be downright funny when their stories are retold in the right way.
In this series, the astute, and very funny, author christopheranton retells some of the best known stories from The Bible in a way that will have you falling of your seat with laughter. They give a whole new meaning to the term "Divine Comedy".
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http://hubpages.com/hub/Who-farted-here-I-really-want-to-know
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- Best Zombie Stories. Not Wikipedia. -- Francis Meade. (chilled.), Sat, March 05 2011, 4:53:31
I know this must seem a bit strange, but for the last two years I have been sharing my house with a zombie.
It all started just after New Years Day 2009. I had recently moved into a house, not two streets away from Wimbledon cemetery in South West London. The house which I took at a rent of £1000 per month was a typical Edwardian terraced house, one of many in that once genteel part of the great metropolis.
As, is often the case with rented properties, it was semi furnished. That is to say that there was a very sorry looking sofa in the living room, and a new fridge and cooker in the kitchen. Also in the living room there was a large upright piano, and piano stool. The letting agent explained that the musical instrument had belonged to the late owner of the house, and that the landlord had decided to leave it there, as a "character piece" to give a bit of class to the otherwise empty house. My long experience of landlords had taught me that it was more likely that he could see no profit in employing several men to take the piano away, so it was left in situ.
Still as I enjoyed pretending, in a one fingered sort of way that I was a musician, I readily agreed that the piano lent ambience to the room, and I was delighted to see it remain.
It didnt take me too long to settle into the house. I brought my bed and television, my favourite books, my trusty computer, and of course my beloved three year old tabby cat, from my old flat. After a visit to Wimbledon to acquire some new furniture I was as content as it was possible to be.
As always happens after one has moved into a new area I decided that I should explore my environs to see what the local attractions might be, and to find out where such neccesaries as the nearest supermarket, newsagent, cafe etc might be. I have always had a fascination with local history, and an amost morbid attraction to reading the inscriptions on headstones, and on the tombs that are a feature of the victorian cemeteries that populate all the outer boroughs of the city.
Consequently one of the first places that I explored was the very same Wimbledon cemetery that got mentioned in my first paragraph.
Wimbledon cemetery is a large and sprawling place, not very distinguished looking, with two rather shabby looking chapels of rest close to the main gate. The graves are all laid out in straight rows, with the headstones standing to attention as though they are sentinels listening for the last trumpet. Here and there one or two are fallen over, as if a soldier that had too much to drink was spoiling the parade. A couple of large Yew trees cast their sombre shadow over the ranks of the dead.
I dont exactly know how this happened, but when I entered through the wrought iron gates of the borough necropolis I felt an irrisistble urge to strike off to my left, rather than exploring the chapels of rest, which would normally have been my first port of call. It was as if there was someone directing my steps. I even imagined that there was a voice in my head saying
"this way please. I am waiting for you"
In the distance there was a large pitched roofed tomb, and it was in it's direction that my steps seemed to be directed. When I approached nearer I could see that there was a large pair of double doors, cast in heavy iron, that gave entrance to whatever ghastly secrets lay within. There was an inscription embossed on the doors in long greened brass. This is what the inscription said.
Here lieth the mortal remains of
Julian Faversham,
Late of this parish.
He was for many years organist to the Church of St Margaret.
His brilliant musianship turned many souls to God.
While I stood there contemplating on the life of the late Julian, the voice in my head seemed to come again.
"Speak to me" was the message conveyed.
I suddenly found myself talking out loud.
"Julian Faversham. If you were such a brilliant musician, why dont you move in with me. I have a beautiful piano you might like to play"
A banging noise came from the mausoleum, followed by a crash, and a splintering sound, as if a very heavy box had fallen on the floor within.
The spell was broken, and I fled from the cemetery, and didnt stop until I had slammed the door of my new residence behind me.
That night I lay sleepless in my bed. I was turning over and over in my head memories of the frightening incident in the graveyard. Did it really happen? or was it just that the atmosphere in the cemetery had induced hallucinations in my over active imagination.
I had decided that it was my imagination, and was just drifting off into sleep, when I heard a key turning in the front door downstairs.
Immediately all notion of slumber vanished, and I shot bolt upright in the bed. I could feel my heart almost bursting forth from it's fleshy cavity, so fast was it beating.
The front door opened, and then was slowly pushed closed. Somebody was moving ponderously down the corridor in the direction of the living room. It sounded as if the intruder was very old. There were no steps, just repetitive shufflng sounds. Each "slither" put ice cold shivers into my very core.
I tried to breathe.
I tried to move.
It was as if someone had dropped me into a deep freeze, and locked the door. I really was petrified with terror.
The shuffling sound stopped at the door of the living room.
Through my palsied nostrils wafted a smell so noisome, and so awful that my stomach was forced to heave, and my dinner of earlier that night was deposited all over the new duvet cover that I had purchased only that week.
Once when I was young I came across the body of a sheep that had fallen into a country stream and been left there to lie by a negligent farmer. It must have been there for some months. The smell that drifted up my stairs reminded me of that long dead herbivore. The recollection did not fill me with good cheer as to the identity or intentions of my intruder below.
The living room door opened, and was closed again as steathily as had the door of the house. I could hear the shuffling noise cross the floor of the room. then there was a sound as if someone was pulling out the piano stool in order to sit at the piano.
Slowly the unmistakable sound of the E flat noctourne by Chopin started to fill the house.
The music seemed to have a soothing effect on my dread. I still felt fearful, but it was as if someone who could produce such gorgeous sounds could not possibly be a homicidal maniac.
The beating in my heart subsided, and I found myself gradually being able to breathe more normally. I even managed to pinch myself to see if I was really awake.
The noctourne petered out, and it was immediately replaced by the lively jingle of Mozart,s Turkish Rondo, to be followed by the the Military Polanaise,(another Chopin Masterpiece).
By this time my courage had completly returned, and I started to think about the effect spirited renditions of Chopin's martial music might have on the neighbours, if it woke them in the middle of the night.
So, plucking up my courage, I descended to the living room in order to gain the acquaintance of my midnight caller.
I knocked on the door.
Immediately the music stopped.
A voice that was identical to the one I had heard in my head in the graveyard said
"Enter".
When I went into the room, the figure that had been sitting at the piano got up, turned to me, and gave an old fashioned courteous bow.
He was not a pretty sight.
His skin seemed to have dried out, and it was shrunken, so that it barely covered the outlines of the skull. If there were any eyes, they were sunk so far into the sockets as to be invisible. Some of the parchment eperdimis, that was clinging to the neck, had come away and was hanging loose like wallpaper that was partially stripped.
The hand, that this cadaver extended to me to shake, was green with mould, and the skeletal tips of the fingers were emerging from the crumbling remnants of skin that covered the palms and wrists.
"Julian Faversham at your service" it said.
I declined to shake the decaying appendage.
"I would be obliged to you sir if you could tell me what you are doing in my house, and whether you intend to continue causing disturbance to this respectable neighbourhood by playing my piano in the middle of the night".
I said firmly
"You invited me" was the reply
"Furthermore you did yourself actually ask me to stay, and I would entertain you with beautiful music. I promise not to play the piano at night, and I will give you free music lessons instead of rent"
I had to admit that there was a measure of justice in the zombies case. I had invited him.
"How did you get in", I asked, hoping to wrong foot him somehow.
"Why did you have a key"?
The answer that he gave really floored me.
"I used to live here. That was my piano. I have been waiting in that dark tomb for almost eighty years for someone to invite me to return to my beloved instrument.
My awful son used to live in this house until he died last year. He would never invite me back.
I sensed ,straightaway, that you had a kind heart, so I put it into your head to invite me when you entered the cemetery".
"But what will you eat" I asked apprehensively.
I had always heard that zombies eat human flesh, and music or not, I had no intention of placing myself in the position of being this corpse's next meal.
"You have a cat" came the sepulchral reply.
" You are not eating my beloved tabby you mouldy bastard" I shouted at at him.
"Relax" the zombie said.
"It is a lie propagated by generations of B Movies that zombies eat humans, or any live thing. I only asked about your cat because, if your budget could run to another couple of tins of catfood a week, that would be all I require for sustenance".
"But you stink" I said. "I cannot live with that awful stench in the house".
"Easily solved. Just invest in plenty of strong airfreshener for the first couple of weeks. Then if you get me some proprietary furniture polish, I can rub it into my skin. It should get rid of the smell permanently, and it will stop my skin from crumbling all the time".
All objections seemed to be covered by this stage, so I agreed that he could stay. He has been in residence ever since.
He does not require a bed. He sleeps in a cupboard in the living room. I have made an arrangement with him, that when I have any guests, he must remain quietly out of sight.
Very occasionally he revisits the graveyard. I do not encourage these expeditions. Once he brought a female cadaver back for a one night stand.
I did not sleep that night. I may be broadminded, but the sound of rustling parchment, and heaving bones, coming from the room beneath my own, does not float my boat.
Besides it was left to me to hoover up the flaky bits in the morning.
I have made it a house rule that necrophiliac coupling can only now happen when I am on holidays.
Apart from these few teething problems, Julian is a brilliant housemate. He still plays the piano divinely. If we can find some way to disguise his appearence, he hopes to enter for Britain's got Talent this year.
Simon Cowell will be impressed.
For another take on this tale read
http://hubpages.com/hub/The-story-of-a-zombie-Not-Wikipedia-or-Facebook
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- Review of "My zombie Best Friend". Not Wikipedia. -- Francis Meade. (chilled.), Fri, February 25 2011, 11:56:14
christopheranton has written some brilliant stories over the years, but the series of "Zombie" stories just has to be among his best to date.
The accounts of the hapless writer, and the zombie that came to live in his house in Wimbledon, must be among the most chilling, and hilarious examples of the comic horror genre yet published. I, for one, was on the edge of my seat with suspense all through the whole series. I have to sleep with the light on as well.
The addition of the well chosen music videos only add to the effectiveness of the stories.
Julian Faversham,(the Zombie),Will be counted with Count Dracula, The Mummy, and Frankensteins monster, as one of the all time icons of horror fiction.
I hope we have not to wait too long for some more tales in this enthralling series. If you do nothing else this week, make time to read these hilariously chilling stories.
christopheranton is a true original, and these stories are unique.
http://hubpages.com/hub/My-zombie-best-friend-and-housemate-Not-wikipedia-nor-Facebook
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- #1 Best-Selling Author Robert Allen Launches A New Company! (Get Harry Potter, etc. At Wholesale!) -- Robert Allen Lead Mentor, Fri, May 04 2007, 17:17:37
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1. For about $35 per month - you own your own business.
2. This is a FORCED MATRIX...which means that people will be added to your team over time from myself and other business leaders. (I'm VERY close to the top and have some of the top internet marketers in the world on my team.) The key to Forced Matrices is that you get in early for all of the "spillover" that will occur from people above you. (Myself and other leaders...)
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4. You also get a free eBook and a free audio book.
5. Then after selecting your first book -- you can purchase other books at 40-50% off retail prices (and shipping is very reasonable as well.)
6. Monthly Bookwise newsletter
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9. Tax benefits (from owning a home based business -- there are many tax benefits which easily cover any expenses associated with being a Bookwise member)
10. Wealth Wise - get financial coaching from experts -- Robert Allen and Richard Paul Evans.
11. Get 2 tickets to the seminar about How to Write a Bestseller -- meeting publishers, agents, best selling authors, etc. (Value about $1200 per ticket).
12. A portion of the Bookwise proceeds goes directly to charity EVERY MONTH.
Great benefits for Bookwise membership. As the company grows there will be more benefits added. If you've ever wanted to earn money from home, build a library of best-selling books and be able to purchase books at wholesale prices -- Bookwise may be the opportunity you are looking for.
URGENTLY go to: www.RobertAllenSite.net
Have you read any of these books? (or even if they're still on your "to read" list.) Multiple Streams Of Income Started MY Personal Internet Marketing Career. Click on any book to learn more.
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Who Are The BookWise Founders?
Building one of the largest internet booksellers in the world requires a powerful and experienced executive team. To run this new company, Richard assembled a group of leaders from various industries. These are the BookWise Founders:
Richard Paul Evans, CEO, Founder
Richard is more than an award-winning #1 Bestselling Author (with a string of eleven New York Times bestsellers and 13 million plus copies of his books in print worldwide). He is also a savvy businessman and entrepreneur. At the age of 31, Richard was awarded the coveted Ernst and Young Entrepreneur of the Year Lifetime Achievement Award. Richard is also the founder of The Christmas Box International; an organization that helps abused and neglected children. BookWise combines three loves of his life: Books, Business and Charity.
Robert G. Allen, Founder, Co-Chair
Robert G. Allen is one of North America's most famous and most influential financial advisors. After graduating with an MBA from Brigham Young University in 1974, Robert began his real estate investment career and turned his successful experiences into the #1 bestselling book, Nothing Down, with forty-six weeks on the New York Times national bestseller list. He followed that success with four other major New York Times bestsellers with sales in the millions: Creating Wealth, Multiple Streams of Income, The One Minute Millionaire and Cracking the Millionaire Code: Your Key to Enlightened Wealth. He has appeared on hundreds of programs including Good Morning America, Larry King and Your World with Neil Cavuto. He has also been featured in such national publications as The Wall Street Journal, Newsweek, Barron's, Money Magazine, Redbook, and Reader's Digest. In addition to his publishing career, Robert and his wife of 30 years, Daryl, have enjoyed extensive success in the network marketing industry as one of the top 25 associates in a major company for the past ten years. On his decision to become a founding member of BookWise, he says, "When I sense that something major is about to happen, I don't question my intuition. I simply jump and ask questions later. BookWise is such an opportunity. I said to myself, 'Bob, you'll kick yourself if you miss this.'" Mr. Allen is thrilled to add his name and expertise to BookWise—a company that is destined to transform the lives of people all over the world.
Dennis Webb, Founder
Dennis Webb's name holds cachet among the world's business elite. As one of the co-founders of the internationally successful Franklin Quest, Dennis was responsible for 250 million dollars of product development and distribution. In addition, Dennis trained clients from numerous Fortune 500 companies, including PriceWaterhouseCoopers, Dow Chemical, Merrill Lynch, and Citibank. Dennis is a much sought-after speaker on a wide range of topics, ranging from leadership to time management to financial planning to team building.
Andy Compas, Chief Operating Officer
Andy Compas, a.k.a. 'Ironman Andy' and 'Andy the Kid,' brings more than a decade of leadership and network marketing experience to the BookWise team. Andy has worked in nearly every realm of the direct sales industry: sales and marketing, call center organization, IT, executive management and order fulfillment. Most recently he has worked as United States General Manager for one of the largest MLM organizations in the world. Andy has also managed successful global sales teams and in one stretch revitalized an entire sales force by running 100 meetings in 100 days.
Mark W. Hurst, Chief Marketing Officer
Within a week of learning about BookWise, Mark sold his interest in Utah's most award-winning advertising agency—where he served as the President and Chief Creative Officer—to join the BookWise Executive Team. In Mark's 30-year career in advertising he has won hundreds of awards for his work and is considered a world-class leader in strategic and creative marketing. Mark spent five years in San Francisco working as Director of Brand Planning for DDB—the largest ad agency organization in the world. Mark has assisted many well-known businesses including Microsoft, Novell, Deloitte Consulting, Jiffy Lube, Evans & Sutherland, and Megahertz (now 3Com). He has been a featured speaker around the country on business-to-business branding and has authored a book on that subject.
Blair Williams, Chief Technology Officer
BookWise is a complex, online business model because we are buying and selling thousands of books each month through associates all over the country. It requires the skills of a highly trained expert in software and internet management to make it all run smoothly. Blair Williams is the perfect fit. He is a skilled technology guru with experience as a software developer and web manager. He manages people and code equally well. He comes to BookWise from Franklin Covey where he worked as Chief Systems Architect. He has managed a successful Enterprise Web Hosting company called Caseproof and has led software development projects for major US technology corporations including DuPont, EDS and McAffee.
The BookWise Founders are more than a dream team of business leaders and authors, but a group committed to helping hundreds of thousands of individuals realize their greatest potential through books.
View The Presentation that will change your life, and URGENTLY join Robert Allen's #1 team to secure your position today!
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Jason Cardamone
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