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Friday, May 01, 04:17:17pm [ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, [2], 3, 4 ]

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Date Posted: 13:44:22 12/28/04 Tue
Author: poorv_pashchim
Subject: Building up a social net in Bangalore

May I try to introduce myself in a few sentences. I am 36, Swiss and married for one and a half year with an Indian from Bangalore. She is 32. We live in Switzerland . Our circle of friends here is mixed.

My wife and I got to know each other on the net and on the way I was searching for people being in a similar relationship - one side from the west the other from India. I knew and know there must be more of us!

I am still on the way (and probably that will take a lifetime) to get to know my wife's culture, country and people. So far I had the opportunity only twice for several weeks to explore India. A way to do this is certainly by travelling and seeing as much as possible. A more important part I see in sharing time with Indians itself.

I am thinking sometimes how it would be to move to India and live there. Whether it will ever be reality or not I don’t know at this stage. I am attracted to a certain degree but also see certain difficulties and obstacles. But I carry the thought with me and want to consider it. I feel it to be like an inner journey - a process where maybe … hopefully … one day there is a yes on my heart.

From my own experiences abroad there is one thing that would help me considering such a step in the future: It is a social net - people around me that make me feel at home even being far away from my own home. I need at least a few closer relationships in a foreign place. Friendships with have a certain depth. People I can count on and I have to a certain extent a certain level of trust - at least a small circle of friends.

And I feel at least a few of these relationships I must have initiated on my own. I feel I have to make my own steps and experiences in my wife’s culture. I think she sees it the same way vice versa. She appreciated me providing certain relationships for a start here but also had and has to find her own way. In addition there would be relationships we have made or will find together as a couple.

Whatever will happen in the future I would love to start to work on such relationships during my short stays in Bangalore. Since this is the place we always will go back to - at least in the near future.
I am very happy for the family and friends my wife brought into my life. Unfortunately her best friends live far off from Bangalore. There aren’t really closer relationships in Bangalore itself - apart from parents and siblings of course.

Next time I am going to fly beginning of February 2005 to Bangalore. We are going to be there for four weeks and I want to spend some of my time trying to make a start in that matter.

So where shall I start my search there for relationships that may could turn into friendships some when in the future? I know friendships are a gift of god and we cannot create it but I believe that I can get up on my feet and show my openness and make steps to meet and search for people there.

My feeling and experiences tell me it won't be that easy. How shall I search and find such people I am looking for? Certainly they won't wait with open arms for me. I am a firang and there is also prejudice against us especially against someone who marries someone out of this culture. I don't want to be negative but I think you know what I mean. Usually it is suspect for Indians if an Indian girl is together with someone from the west.

I thought that maybe a start could be this forum / site. Are there any couples in which one part is from Bangalore (or close by) and would be interested getting to know us? Do you know any mixed couples in Bangalore itself? Do you have any good friends or relatives in Bangalore who are open and could be interested to get to know us?

Do you have any other ideas how to build up a social net in Bangalore? Are there any other forums / sites on the net where I could post my matter? We are open for any good thoughts.

Thanks for taking your time and reading up to the end of this very long message … (and sorry I didn’t make it shorter … :) ).

Looking forward to hearing your ideas, comments and own experiences in this matter
Poorv Pashchim

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