| Subject: Writer's Block 411 |
Author:
Nikita507
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Date Posted: Thursday, September 30, 11:09:29pm
In reply to:
Nikita507
's message, "Writer's Block 403+" on Friday, September 17, 06:55:52pm
Michael ran his fingers along Nikita’s bare arm as he looked up at the ceiling. His mind knew what he had to do, but the words had yet to occur. Instead he allowed the lure of other distractions to take him away from what needed to be said. Not that Michael was going to complain about those very hot and erotic interludes.
“Kita,” Michael whispered as he stopped her cool hand from moving underneath the sheets. He knew what Nikita was going to do and if she touched him down there, he would not be able to stop her. He rolled his head to look at her as she playfully tried to kiss his lips. “It’s going to be ok, Kita.”
Nikita jerked her head to the side and shook her head slightly. “What are you talking about?”
Michael used his other hand to touch Nikita’s soft chin to force her to look at him. “Belinda is going to be ok.”
Nikita shuttered her blue eyes as she trembled. She didn’t want to think about what Michael was saying. In fact, she was trying to do everything to avoid those thoughts. If she didn’t think about it, it would just be fine. But thinking about it scared her.
“I don’t want to think about this right now,” Nikita declared as she pulled her body closer to Michael, hooking her bare leg over Michael’s, trying to roll on top of him. “I just want to have fun with you tonight.”
“Having sex with me all night is not going to stop the fact that Belinda is going to have this surgery in the morning, Kita,” Michael rolled away from his wife and turned his hip towards her and pulled the sheet tightly around his body, creating a barrier between himself and Nikita. He touched Nikita’s chin again. “Kita, I know that you haven’t had someone that you care for go through surgery before…”
Nikita closed her eyes as she swallowed quickly, finding pain in her chest. “Please… don’t…”
“Not talking about it is what is making this worse, Kita,” Michael declared as he placed his hand down on Nikita’s shoulder. “Please talk to me about this.”
Nikita rolled onto her back and crossed her arms over her chest. Michael was sure that she wasn’t going to talk. She was staring up at the ceiling, her fists clenching and not clenching. “What if she isn’t ok?”
“You can’t think about that,” Michael offered up with a shake of his head. “She needs all of our positive thoughts.”
“No,” Nikita turned and looked at Michael. “I’m not afraid about the surgery… Davenport referred her to people that he trusts… and I know that she is in good hands…”
Michael was confused. If Nikita wasn’t scared about the surgery, what was she scared of?
“But what if they are wrong? What if there is cancer? What if it spread? What if it is too late? What if they find out that the blood tests are wrong and it has taken over her body? What would Walter do? How could Walter live without her? How could we live without her? What would happen to the store? And what if she isn’t around for when…” Nikita stopped her rapid fire questions by flipping over onto her stomach and covering her head with her arms.
Michael exhaled as he didn’t realize that Nikita’s questions were just going to make him hold his breath as she rolled them all out without hesitation and pause. He wasn’t even sure if he could remember them all, but he just knew that Nikita was anticipating the worse to happen.
He slowly moved to his wife and kissed her bare shoulder as he wrapped his arm over her back. “No matter what happens, Kita… I’m going to be here for you… and for everyone… and we’ll face whatever happens to Belinda together.”
Nikita sobbed as she turned her head to the side some. “I don’t want to worry about things… but I don’t want anything to change my family here… I want it be good… all the time…”
Michael took some deep breaths with Nikita beneath his arms. He held her and waited as he then pressed a kiss to the side of her neck. “Things do change… but you are one of the strongest women that I know… and I know that you can handle whatever may happen here. And I know that this is more than just Belinda’s surgery… because I have thought the same things…”
Nikita turned back to face Michael. “What?”
“Knowing that Belinda has to have surgery… I have wondered what would I do if something happened to you… and it has happened one too many times for me… when the accident at the state park happened… and you were thrust down in the water… that was a fear that I do have to face every day… because I don’t know what I would do without you…” Michael rasped as he placed his head down right next to Nikita’s. “It’s natural to worry about those things, Kita.”
“When I think about them… it’s like I detach from my body… I get consumed by pain that I can’t stop from thinking about…” Nikita explained as she turned and really looked at Michael. “And then I worry… about if I was pregnant… or if we had a child… and it would happen to you…. Because I don’t think I could…”
“You would go on for our child… because our child would be a part of each of us…” Michael whispered as he wrapped his arms and held Nikita.
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