| Subject: Priority Mail 23 |
Author:
Nikita507
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Date Posted: Monday, November 01, 05:18:23pm
In reply to:
Nikita507
's message, "Priority Mail 18+" on Friday, October 29, 07:32:50pm
Rhoda had observed Joe outside. It was still hard to think of the woman that she had been calling Mary for all of this time now as Joe, but she was going to respect the wishes of this woman. She did not talk much at all so when she did, Rhoda had to take notice and do as desired.
This morning Joe had been up with the bakers to help out in the kitchen and then she went outside to the playground that was across the street. It was before the time that mothers with young children who were not of school age would come and after the time when old enough children were in school. Joe tediously weeded around the playground, picked up trash and even went to retrieve tools to tighten the bolts of the equipment.
She then assisted with lunch and finally sat down on a bench just outside the convent where she seemed to be observing everything but finally resting.
“Good afternoon, Joe,” Sister Rhoda spoke as she walked outside and sat down beside this curious woman.
“Hello, Reverend Mother,” Joe responded but did not look towards the woman. It was good because Joe would have seen the look of shock on the Sister’s face. She never expected to get a response back. It actually threw the Reverend Mother off of her plans for this meeting.
“You know, Joe… I don’t think I gave you enough credit,” Rhoda finally found her words again. “I unfortunately did what everyone else did when you decided not to talk and not to give information. I thought that something was wrong with you or that you were ill or injured… and while I think that there is absolutely something that keeps you so quiet, I think it is your decision not to speak.”
Joe turned her head slightly to look at the Sister. Rhoda gently smiled as she could tell that there was just a bit more life in those blue eyes that Joe had. She was reaching Joe on some level. “I think you are a very bright, intelligent, motivated, dedicated woman who lived a complex life at some point and now you are finding respite by being here… allowing something inside of you to mend while you keep your words to yourself.”
Joe arched an eyebrow and then dropped it slowly. There was a slight shrug of her shoulders and Rhoda grinned a bit more. She was right.
“There are lots of religions that practice vows of silence. I would never think of them like I had thought about you. In fact, some of those monks are revered for being strong in spiritual insight…” Rhoda continued as she blinked her eyes and sighed slightly. “I don’t think it is for religious reasons you stay so quiet… but I’m done acting like I have to fix you. I don’t hold the keys on how to fix you and I can’t go down that road any longer.”
Rhoda shifted and crossed her legs underneath her on the bench as she leaned back and looked at the sky. “Instead, I’m going to talk to you… tell you about myself. I wouldn’t want to talk to someone that I really didn’t know and I don’t think I have told you enough about myself to gain your trust.”
Rhoda watched as Joe turned to face her a bit more. It was clear that Joe was interested in what she was saying. She wasn’t tuning the Sister out; although Rhoda had a sneaking suspicion that Joe never really did tune anyone out even if she wasn’t looking at them. “I never told you that I was once a nurse.”
Rhoda watched as Joe’s eyes didn’t even falter. Maybe Joe did know that she was a nurse. “I was young and I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do in my life. I won’t admit it to the other Sisters here, but sometimes I am still unsure of what I want to do in my life. I know that I’m here to serve… but when I work with you, I wonder if I am serving in the right capacity.”
“You are doing a great job,” Joe gently responded. This time Joe did get to see Rhoda’s surprise as they were looking directly at each other. Rhoda felt a chill go down her back as she looked at Joe. It was as if they were having a true conversation and Rhoda feared that it would end as soon as it started. “Knowing that you are doing a good job and feeling that you are doing a good job are not always the same thing. That is why I left being a nurse… although I don’t think you truly stop being a nurse once you have been a nurse.”
There was no reply and that was fine for Rhoda. “I grew up in a family of five brothers and sisters. None of them stayed in this area. They all moved away,” Rhoda explained as she unfolded her legs and rubbed at her knees. “They left long before I become a Sister…. My brothers still think that I’m going to find a man… maybe I will.”
Joe actually chuckled and turned her head away for a second. Slowly Joe looked back with her blue eyes and whispered, “Nat.”
Stuck in the middle of mid-breathe, Rhoda sputtered and struggled to compose herself. “Joe, this isn’t where you want to stay. You are somewhere else and you deserve something so much more than this.”
“So do you,” Joe slowly spoke as she turned her head away and folded her hands on her lap. A change in the air told Sister Rhoda that Joe was done talking for now. That brief moment of clarity and conversation had vanished.
“We all walk many paths in our lives… some have a clear path and some of us have hard paths. Some of us have paths that are full of shades of darks and lights while others have to struggle to get along their path in the pitch dark…. I think you have been in a very dark path, Joe. But I see it changing,” Rhoda patted at Joe’s hand as she leaned forward and stood up.
Joe was looking at her from the corner of her eye. Rhoda shook her head. “I wish I knew where you disappeared to when you do… I wish I could help you get to the better path… but I think I’m not meant to play that role. My role is to be here for you like I am… and that you are teaching me something new. I don’t know what you are teaching me, but you are.”
Joe reached out and grasped the Sister’s hand. Rhoda stopped and cupped Rhoda’s cheek. “I think you make sure that you look older than you are. I think that you are in a game of hiding what is hurting you and what is making you happy. I think that your secrets hurt every cell of your being, Joe.”
There was a glimmer in Joe’s eyes and she blinked back those tears. Rhoda waited and saw that the tears receded as quickly as they had threatened to appear. This woman had strength unlike strength that she had seen in others.
“I fear that something horrible has happened to you…. I fear that you do have a family out there that you love more than you want to ever admit…. I fear that you are willing to stay here for the rest of your life because of the fear of causing some sort of additional harm to someone else…” Rhoda shook her head as she stood there and forced the thoughts away.
“But everything has a reason. I know that there is a reason you are here and I know that you are not meant to stay here,” Rhoda said as she dropped her hand and folded it with her other hand in front of her waist. “They may need help with dinner tonight, if you aren’t tired.”
Joe stood up and slightly nodded her head before moving back inside. At least for now Joe was inside the convent and Rhoda could have some time to process what she was seeing. It did make her question everything.
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