| Subject: The Outside Operative 12 |
Author:
Nikita507
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Date Posted: Sunday, June 16, 08:31:01pm
In reply to:
Nikita507
's message, "The Outside Operative 12+" on Sunday, June 16, 08:29:29pm
Most of the time, Michael knew that time with Nikita was special when he was able to get to be with her. But there were times, when he had been upset with her involvement in a mission, or she was upset with how long it had been from the last time that they were together. But the most common fight was when Nikita would complain that he wouldn’t talk to her enough.
It wasn’t done on purpose. Michael didn’t want to dredge up details about what was going on in Section One because he wanted to forget about it when he was with her, for as long as he could. Once they had started to work towards ending Section and getting people out, they had to talk more about what was happening, but still, they did fight about Michael’s lack of words at time.
Specifically, it was feelings that Michael didn’t speak about with Nikita. He rarely spoke about them with anyone.
He had told Nikita that he loved her. Michael was positive of that and he was positive that she knew that. She had to sense it. She always knew more about him than he wanted to admit and she had to have sensed that before he had spoken the words.
Lyons.
With his hand on the glass, he pushed the door open and walked to the window of her room. He looked out at the sunny day and he wasn’t sure of the last time he had stood out in the sun. Michael wasn’t sure when he would stand out in the sun again. He looked back at Nikita and swallowed. It was always so quiet in the room.
He had to talk.
Michael pulled the chair as close to the bed and took Nikita’s hand that showed evidence of the strain of the IV having to be replaced in new places several times. He rubbed at the tape and closed his eyes. “I know that you say that I don’t talk enough… I hear the things that I want to say in my head… I think them. And they just don’t always come out when you need to hear them.”
Michael swallowed and kept his eyes closed. He felt his body shaking. “So… Birkoff knows that you are alive now…. Walter told him. Like I knew that Walter would do… but I never expected that Birkoff would run to the hospital… after all of these years, he wants to see you too… that’s how much you touched those two.”
Now opening his eyes, Michael moved his hand to touch her hair and sigh. “I can’t believe that you stayed with me in this mess… why you put your entire life on hold for the slim possibility that we would succeed in…”
Choking back the tears, Michael turned away and took a deep breath. “I don’t deserve that kind of love from you, Kita… and I’ll never leave you.”
Michael turned back to look at Nikita’s bed and he leaned his head onto the railing. “This is our time, Kita… we won this and I want you to see it… to see what this freedom is… that your friends can know about what you courageously did… but I need you to come back so I know what things you want me to tell and what things you don’t want me to tell.
Now there were too many emotions in Michael and he swallowed again while shaking his head slightly. This was too personal and he had to find something else to steady himself. “So Birkoff is in the waiting room… and the one person who knew that you were alive in all of this…Mick, he left me a text saying that he wasn’t going to bother me until he knew that you were you again – because you would want that… and he was the one that I thought would be here bothering me day in and day out.”
Michael could tell that Walter had slipped into the room, but he owed Nikita more. This was about what he had to do for Nikita, even if she would never know. “I regret… those times that we joked about running to the minister… and taking vows even though they wouldn’t be official in any legal nature… they would have been the truth for us… and I should have made us do that… because I know that is what you wanted… and I wanted that, Kita… I was too scared that if I did that… that I’d find a way to fail… or I’d lose focus on the goal of getting out being with you… In ways… I was too selfish to do what we needed.”
There were tears coming down his face and Michael wiped them away and glanced towards Nikita and saw her blue eyes. She blinked them and opened them again, looking directly at him. He wanted to say her name, but he didn’t. He just looked at her.
“Mic…” Nikita rasped as her eyes drifted shut and then she licked her lips before opening her lids again. “-heal…”
She said his name!
Michael heard a gasp in the room and he didn’t dare move. “Kita… I love you… and I’m going to love you forever.”
Her eyes closed and Michael swallowed and thought it was over.
“Michael,” Nikita whispered as she forced her eyes open for just a moment before they closed, Nikita slipped under again.
Michael knew that if that was all he ever got from Nikita, that it would somehow be enough. For them to have a moment free from Section, where she knew him, that was enough – but he was positive that it wasn’t all. This was the start. She was coming back.
“Do you want me to get the doctor?” Walter cleared his throat. Michael shook his head from side to side. “No… she wasn’t awake long enough for them to care… and they’ll run tests or something… but she’ll do it again… soon.”
Walter nodded his head, feeling like he was completely invading.
Michael turned to look at Walter, not caring that the man saw the tears on his face. “I should have done that for her.”
Walter knew that Michael was referencing marrying her. “You’ll fix that soon enough.”
Michael wasn’t sure what Walter was going to say, but that wasn’t what he had anticipated. Michael chuckled slightly and rubbed at his face. “You know… I’m going to go get some fresh air…”
Walter was confused and Michael stood up. “I need to feel the sun… and the air... so I can come back in her… and talk to Nikita about that… I need to talk to her about all kinds of things… even if she is asleep.”
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