| Subject: Outside Operative 40 |
Author:
Nikita507
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Date Posted: Saturday, February 08, 08:52:49pm
In reply to:
Nikita507
's message, "Outside Operative 38+" on Thursday, January 30, 07:11:45pm
“You look a bit tied up there, Sugar,” Walter chuckled as he came into the living room to see a mound of yarn on Nikita’s lap. Nikita was done for the day and was setting down on the hook. “I’m learning to crochet… single crochet…”
“Looks like the yarn is winning,” Walter joked as he looked around and sat down on the other end of the couch. “Did you ask for me to come in here so I can rescue you from this domestic activity?”
“First, I decided to pull it apart…. I could see when my fingers and hands got tired… Second, I kind of like it… and lastly, the crocheting has nothing to do with why I wanted to talk to you,” Nikita outlined as she pulled the yarn up and off of her lap and placed it on the end table that was beside the couch.
Walter whistled. “Don’t take your anger out about Michael spending time at the cabin helping out on me, Sugar!”
Nikita sighed. “That’s what we have to talk about.”
“You are upset about that? Really?” Walter shook his head.
“No,” Nikita snapped as she closed her eyes and took a deep breathe. “But you have been doing quite a number on Michael and particularly Mick about the work.”
“He is being a perfectionist about this house.”
“Because it is the main house… where you have practically a whole floor to yourself if you wanted it,” Nikita groaned as she shook her head. “But I don’t think this has anything to do with the living arrangements.”
“I still don’t know what you are talking about,” Walter leaned back as he shook his head slightly. “Maybe you should have taken a longer nap.”
Nikita counted in her head as she shifted to face Walter. He sighed and shrugged his shoulders. “I may have been a bit upset about the lack of progress.”
“It’s not truly about the cabin,” Nikita announced and Walter tilted his head in confusion. Nikita sighed. “You have to stop punishing them… that’s what you are doing to Michael and Mick… and sometimes to Davenport and you would probably be doing it to Birkoff if he wasn’t working on that last copy of The Directory.”
Walter swung his head back and forth. “You are wrong, girl…. It is about me having my own space. I had my own space in Section One… you know that munitions were all mine…”
Nikita knew from Walter’s reaction that it only proved that she was right. She was sure that the others knew that this was the real reason Walter was acting up, but no one was brave enough to bring it out in a conversation. “You are upset at them… particularly Michael and Mick… because they knew that I was alive.”
Now Walter sprung to his feet. “No way I’m doing that.”
“It wasn’t their decision…”
“Sugar…”
“You haven’t been upset with me… probably because you are just happy that I’m alive… but I had the say in what to do… and what to tell you. I was close to you… and I knew that you wouldn’t have been able to handle knowing… it would have put you in risk,” Nikita leaned forward as Walter started to move from side to side. “Walter.”
“I’m happy that you are alive… overjoyed… and it doesn’t matter how it happened.”
“Maybe you don’t even realize that you are punishing them… and that you see me as being too fragile to lash out again… and that’s fine. But you need to know that I’m the one that made most of those decisions,” Nikita rasped as she reached her sore hands up and around her neck. “I’m who you should be upset at.”
“Never,” Walter shook his head back and forth.
Nikita blinked back tears as she swallowed. “I made the plan that saved Birkoff’s life… Michael tried to get me to let him tell you… just about Birkoff… but I was afraid that you would figure it out. That you would never think that Michael would plot something like Jason… and I didn’t want you to live with knowing that I was alive… on the outside…”
“You weren’t really alive on the outside, were you?” Walter rasped and Nikita dropped her hands. “Stop being upset at them, Walter.”
“Sugar…” Walter shook his head and Nikita jerked slightly. “God, I remember Michael trying so hard to tell me that it would be safe… he was right about everything, but he knew that I was too scared… and I wasn’t brave enough for this.. and it would have made it easier for him… and you… and Birkoff…”
Michael looked up from the computer screen and the details that Nikita had been able to pull together to create Jason. He didn’t know how she had the time to do all of this along with being a nurse. He worried that she took on too much all the time in the hopes of what may come for them. Michael wanted to take some of that responsibility off of her. “It’s been a several years, Nikita… I think I can confine in Walter… bring him into the fold. He can help us…”
“We aren’t telling Birkoff and we aren’t going to tell Walter,” Nikita strode across from the small kitchen in the condo that she was using for the moment to place the cup of coffee that Michael had asked for on the table. “I think this might be too thin either way… and Walter is going to be watched a lot by Madeline after Birkoff dies.”
Michael caught Nikita’s hand before she walked away from the table. “They don’t watch him as much these days.”
“Because Birkoff is alive. They are going to watch him like a hawk… and Birkoff has to be Jason… he is going to have to keep his distance from Walter to start with. Walter might catch on.”
“More of a reason to tell him.”
“More of a reason for Birkoff to be careful,” Nikita jerked her arm away while shaking her head back and forth. “Maybe I should think of another way.”
“We need Birkoff inside… even if he is Jason. That’s better than somehow getting him out,” Michael sighed as he turned in the chair to watch Nikita walk back to the coffee pot but not pour herself a cup of coffee, which he was sure that she needed. He sighed and exhaled. “You need a break from this.”
“Time is limited,” Nikita snapped the coffeepot up and then jumped back as some of the hot liquid almost scolded her hand. She placed the pot back down as Michael stood up and walked to her. He placed his hands on her shoulders, knowing that she couldn’t be pushed any further on this. “Ok… I won’t tell Walter… and I won’t tell Birkoff… but we need to pass this onto Adrian and her people now.”
“Why?” Nikita spun around in Michael’s arms. He pushed her hair back out of her face. “We only have limited time.”
Nikita parted her lips and Michael placed his fingers over them and then his mouth. He pulled back as Nikita stood there in silence as he smiled. “We have limited time. And you need more than that life right now.”
“You were right with not telling me, Sugar,” Walter rasped as he shook his head. “Maybe that’s why I’m not upset at you.”
It took the wind out of Nikita’s body as she looked at Walter. She never expected Walter to agree that she had been right with not telling him. But she wanted him to stop pushing Michael and Mick into thinking that they had to jump at the cabin. “I told Michael that today when he was over at the cabin.”
Nikita shook her head again. “What?”
“That you were right that I would have done something stupid if I knew that you were alive. I would have found a reason to see you… and it wouldn’t have been done for any other reason than I wanted to see you. I wouldn’t have been helpful. Not in the way that would have been helpful,” Walter rubbed his hands together as he reached over and carefully held Nikita’s as he could see that her hands were sore right now, although she wouldn’t admit to that.
“And maybe I have been hard on everyone… I’m not used to being out, Sugar. You’d think I feel all of this space… but I’m used to having my own little cave… my space. That’s why I want the cabin… so it could be like munitions was for me… my space. My domain. Hell, I don’t even know if I’ll really live there… but I’d spend time there. That’s what I need,” Walter explained as he shook his head. “Just like you need this house.”
“I don’t need this house-“
“You needed this house,” Walter spoke as he stopped Nikita’s words. “I’ve heard about so many different places you stayed… I’m not even sure if you spent more than a couple weeks in any one place.”
“I did spend-“
“Maybe you paid for places more than a couple weeks, but you probably went out and met up with Michael… or worked on mission work to keep him save… most of those times Adrian didn’t even know about,” Walter shook his head. “You need one place. We all need this place.”
Nikita patted Walter’s hands and shrugged her shoulders. She wasn’t sure but then she hadn’t felt like she was really living in the house. “Give it time, Sugar.”
“I like working at the cabin,” Michael spoke from the hallway. Nikita gasped as she turned to look at Michael. “How long have you been there?”
“I was going to talk to Walter about the same thing,” Michael admitted as he walked into the room.
Nikita felt a sharp pain in her head as it was like any pains that she had in her body rushed to her head. She knew that it was because she was upset at Michael. She didn’t like when he did this – sneak around her like he was still a Section One operative. She could have had this conversation with Walter without him watching it – like he was afraid that she wouldn’t be able to handle it.
While the headache forced Nikita’s head into the crook of her head elbow with a groan of pain, what she couldn’t handle was what Michael had done.
“Sugar?” Walter inquired as he saw the color of her skin disappear as she gasped in what was pain. He didn’t touch her as she curled her head down but he did move closer, as he didn’t want her to do something, or even fall off of the couch because of the pain that she was in.
“Shh….” Nikita hissed as she tried to count, knowing that the headache was not going to help handle this situation any more. She was sure that in both Michael’s and Walter’s mind, this was probably proof that she still needed more help around her.
Michael silently cursed at himself as he realized what he had done – not that he had sought out to do what had happened. He had been about to walk into the room when he caught that Nikita was talking to Walter. She had told him that she was going to do it, but Michael wasn’t sure when it would actually happen. He stopped at the door as he somehow thought that it was best that it came from Nikita. It was better for Walter.
Michael licked his parched lips. “I’ll go get some Motrin and some water, Kita…”
Nikita gritted her teeth as she tried to think of the numbers in her head, willing the headache away. She moved one hand to behind her neck and winced as she was sore in the hands. She wanted to yell at Lope for the damn crocheting. And then she finally took a deep breath and could think of the numbers.
Almost as quickly as she had lost her color, Walter watched as the color came back and Nikita lifted her head slowly in order to lean back against the couch. “He didn’t mean to lurk.”
Nikita didn’t say a word and she closed her eyes as her stomach now growled, things were suddenly out of sorts and she had to allow it to be that way. That was her life right now but somehow, she was going to gain some sort of control.
When she opened her eyes, Walter had stood up from the couch and it was Michael who had slid in closer to her. He extended the glass of water and the two pills. She could see that he knew that he was wrong, but thankfully he didn’t talk. She needed the break and really she saw what she needed in Michael’s eyes.
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