| Subject: Priority Mail 487 |
Author:
Nikita507
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Date Posted: Saturday, September 15, 11:47:08pm
In reply to:
Nikita507
's message, "Priority Mail 486+" on Friday, September 14, 11:04:29pm
“Nikita, morning sickness is just a general term put on nausea during pregnancy,” Ellie explained with a gentle voice over the phone.
“It’s almost dinner time,” Nikita rasped as she exhaled while sitting in her office, away from everyone. “I had it that one morning… and it calmed down as long as Michael doesn’t make French toast… I’ve been fine.”
“How many days ago?”
“Yesterday,” Nikita commented and Ellie chuckled. “Nikita, you can have morning sickness at any time… it’s a sign of the hormones in your body. It’s a good thing actually.”
“I wasn’t sick like this with Sabina.”
“I don’t think you would allow yourself,” Ellie pointed out and Nikita closed her eyes. “How do I settle my stomach?”
“You can’t let yourself get dehydrated… you are drinking liquids, right? Nothing too hot or cold…” Ellie directed and Nikita rolled her eyes. “So I can just throw it back up.”
“Soda crackers.”
“Bird food,” Nikita snipped as she swallowed and exhaled. The nausea was gone again. Nikita blinked her eyes. “Can it just disappear?”
“What disappeared?”
“The need to throw up,” Nikita practically growled.
“Yep,” Ellie confirmed as she felt that saying more wouldn’t matter. “Maybe I can stop by tomorrow morning… there are some other things that may help and it’s easier to talk face to face.”
“So something is wrong,” Nikita bluntly spoke and Ellie groaned. “I didn’t say that.”
“Then why come over tomorrow to see me?”
“Because I’m your friend and I can tell that you are concerned about this. We’ll just casually talk about it, ok?” Ellie spoke without sounding serious, but knowing that if she didn’t do this, Nikita could easily become nervous about every time she felt sick. Ellie didn’t need Nikita becoming a hypochondriac during this pregnancy.
“Just don’t bring any eggs,” Nikita quipped and Ellie chuckled. “I wouldn’t do that to you, Nikita.”
“I have to stay upstairs until Sabina is done with breakfast… that’s what she wants to eat right now.”
“Maybe you should tell her to eat cereal for a few weeks. It wouldn’t hurt her,” Ellie suggested as she knew that Michael and Nikita were going to have to deal with Sabina sooner than later.
“It gives her time with Michael,” Nikita explained with a sigh as she heard a knock at her door. She glanced at the clock and knew who was there. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Call me when it’s safe for you to come downstairs,” Ellie responded and Nikita smiled as she hung up the phone, grateful that her stomach had settled before this moment in time. But her hands started to twist together as she called out, “The door is open Beatrice.”
Beatrice walked in and closed the door. “I thought yesterday you said that you weren’t going to tell anyone else about the pregnancy quite yet.”
Nikita closed her eyes and placed her hands on her stomach, almost swearing that it had flipped over with those words alone. “Ah… since I almost threw up on a client… I didn’t have much of a choice.”
Beatrice groaned. “Oh… that’s probably not the way that you planned on telling them.”
“But they are happy for Michael and I,” Nikita exhaled as she pulled her hands off of her stomach. “And if they think I’ve been in here resting… I’ve just been trying to settle my stomach and I probably harassed Ellie too much about morning sickness, which apparently I can have at any time.”
“It is like your first pregnancy, Nikita.”
Nikita groaned as she closed her eyes. “I was pregnant with Sabina.”
“But you couldn’t allow yourself…”
“And I can’t let people continue to act like I’ve never been pregnant, especially in front of Sabina,” Nikita interrupted as she glared at Beatrice. “It will hurt her to hear those things.”
Beatrice sat down as she hated that she had not exactly thought about it in that manner. “You’ve talked to Sabina about what you had to do, correct?”
“Yes,” Nikita nodded her head up and down. “She seemed to take it well.”
“So you wanted to talk about more than just how Sabina really wants a brother or a sister,” Beatrice whispered as she looked to her hands and then looked up at Nikita. “Right?”
Nikita slowly started to nod her head up and down. “I am worried about my family during this… time of change. And they know so much… because of the PTSD…”
“And you and Michael are so happy and relieved that you found Sabina, that you… are a bit lenient with what you let her do,” Beatrice commented. She watched as Nikita winced. “She is smart, Beatrice.”
“I don’t ignore those factors. But you and Michael are smart too. I’ve mentioned it to both of you before that Sabina might have things that she hasn’t dealt with because she could be thinking about how happy she is to be with her family… settled.”
“I think she wants a brother or sister… so she isn’t the newest family member,” Nikita choked up slightly. “To make her feel... more permanent… because she has told me that she was always the newest child in a foster family… and she always left first.”
Beatrice leaned forward and looked at Nikita as she pushed her tears away. “She needs to talk to someone, Nikita. There aren’t many options.”
“I know,” Nikita shook her head. “I just wished… that I would be enough.”
“It’s ok,” Beatrice reached out and squeezed Nikita’s hand. “You have too much going on right now to even think of having to handle all of this on your own.”
Nikita swallowed and tried to talk. But she didn’t. She looked to the side. “I hate… being so happy at one moment… and still so scared at the next…. When I got sick… I had even feared things, bad things … and I wouldn’t allow myself to throw up… thinking that if I could stop that… I could stop anything bad from happening…”
Beatrice watched as Nikita broke down, the tears taking her over again. She got up and rounded the desk and forced Nikita to allow her to hug her. She soothed Nikita’s hair and after a good five minutes, Beatrice pulled away and sat on the desk in directly in front of Nikita. “Look at me, Nikita… you were some sort of super woman to do what you did to give birth to Sabina… and there are going to be things that you are going to remember about that time… but effectively, this is your first pregnancy. You can’t worry about Sabina hearing that because first, you need to hear that.”
Slowly, Nikita pushed the wet tears from her face as she moved her head up and down. “I know that… on some level…”
“Don’t say that but,” Beatrice commanded. “I know that it is there. We all know that it is there. You can stop giving it strength by stop focusing on it.”
Nikita took a couple deep breathes and shifted in the chair. Beatrice exhaled. “Nausea?”
Nikita closed her eyes as she nodded her head up and down. Beatrice walked back to the chair and pulled out a bag from her purse. “A friend of mine said that these ginger candies helped her.”
Beatrice watched Nikita as she opened her eyes. She was almost green. Beatrice unwrapped the candy and placed it into Nikita’s hand. She put it into her mouth and closed her eyes again. It took some time, but the color returned to normal in Nikita’s face and slowly Nikita opened her eyes. “Sorry about that.”
“No reason to be sorry.”
Beatrice returned to the chair and looked at Nikita. “Are you still planning on telling Sabina and Adam on Saturday?”
“Yes,” Nikita nodded her head slowly up and down. “Especially with the morning sickness…”
“I should plan some time to talk with Sabina on Sunday then.”
“I’ll discuss that with Michael,” Nikita looked at Beatrice. Beatrice leaned back in her chair and folded her hands. “I think Michael will agree.”
“I think he will too,” Nikita nodded her head. “But I still have to talk to him. To be sure.”
“Of course,” Beatrice smiled. “Do you think you can talk some more about things? Or… do you need a break?”
“I need to finish this candy.”
“I’ll let you know where I found them.”
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