| Subject: Priority Mail 214 |
Author:
Nikita507
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Date Posted: Wednesday, April 13, 10:33:41pm
In reply to:
Nikita507
's message, "Priority Mail 211+" on Sunday, April 03, 05:47:08pm
Nikita shifted her head onto Michael’s bare chest and rubbed her hands against it. It was warm in the room and they were both snuggled against each other naked while underneath the sheets. Michael reached over and took Nikita’s hands. “If you don’t stop that… you are going to start something that you said that you didn’t want.”
“I said that last night,” Nikita pointed out a technicality. Michael smirked and waited for Nikita to lean up and kiss him. She slithered down his body and he knew that she had done that on purpose. “Kita…”
“Michael,” Nikita softly replied as she pressed her hand against Michael’s chest. She paused and then leaned her head back down on his chest. A long moment went on and Nikita closed her eyes slightly before whispering, “I have never felt this close to you.”
Michael cleared his throat and Nikita turned her head to look at him while rolling her eyes. “I know that we have physically been closer, Michael… but this is a different kind of together… I never felt this before.”
“And it has helped?” Michael inquired and Nikita nodded her head up and down as she settled her head back down. “I think it’s why I’ve been able to process things… and not have the major flashes…”
“Just because you haven’t had any PTSD flashes don’t mean that they are gone… as I believe they could happen at any point… even after years,” Michael pointed out gently as he was worried that if Nikita thought that she was cured and that she had one that she would hide that fact.
Nikita moved her hand slightly and her head moved up and down. “I know… but I think for the first time I truly believe when they are going to happen… I’ll be able to cope… because of you.”
Michael felt peace sweep over him and he rubbed his hand along Nikita’s back. “I can feel it in you, Kita. I think you are truly starting to relax.”
Nikita sighed against Michael’s chest as her legs tangled with his. Michael felt his loins react but with just a few moments, that passion had subsided as he was content to just feel Nikita against him. That was when he started to realize the magic that sleeping with each other like this – something that they wouldn’t dare do in the house with Adam – truly was for them. It was something stronger than anything else that he had tried to do to make things better. He had always thought that he was doing well and that he didn’t have wounds to heal – his focus had been Nikita from the moment he truly understood and accepted that she was alive. But now he realized that he even had things to get better from and right now, he knew that it was Nikita that had made that happen.
Nikita shifted and leaned her chin on Michael’s chest as she looked up at Michael. “I think we need to talk about my gift.”
Michael swallowed hard. He had a feeling that it would come up. It had to come up. “I didn’t mean it the way that it sounded, Kita… I mean… I want the option to be open for us but I’m not saying that having a baby would make up for our daughter that is out there…”
“Michael,” Nikita spoke and he stopped. He looked at Nikita and saw that she needed to talk. “It wasn’t the reason why I didn’t want to have sex last night… you do know that, right?”
Michael pressed his lips together and Nikita shook her head slightly. “It wasn’t Michael. I can see that you doubt that.”
“We were given this wonderful place…”
“And I had overdosed on Christmas,” Nikita pointed out as she rubbed her hands against Michael’s shoulders as she continued to look at him. “I needed a pressure release last night…. To allow things to just ease away. Your gift didn’t make me avoid sex because I don’t want to have another child.”
Michael tilted his head and Nikita shifted to push her body up slightly. She cupped the sheet around her chest and looked at Michael as she sat up in the bed a bit more upright. “I’ll admit… the necklace… it stunned me… and your words…”
“I never meant to say them like that.”
“But I’m glad that you did… and I can admit that I’m all kinds of conflicted. I don’t know if I could have said that to you before now,” Nikita explained as she tilted her head and used one hand to push her hair back over her shoulders. “I felt worry… and panic… and guilt.”
“I didn’t want you to feel…”
“Not just guilt about thinking about where our daughter is…” Nikita interrupted Michael as she placed her hand down on Michael’s shoulder. “But guilt for liking the idea… I never imagined that I would like the possibility of having another child, Michael… I wrote that off… long, long ago.”
It was now Michael’s turn to sit up in bed. “Are you saying…”
“I’m not saying that I want to have another child, Michael… I don’t know if I can do that… but I have the opportunity for that to be a possibility… that you want to give me that opportunity… that you don’t believe that I’m too damaged…” Nikita’s voice cracked as she couldn’t hold back a few tears. Michael gracefully swiped those tears away and shook his head. “You have never been damaged.”
Nikita shook her head as she knew that she had been damaged. In ways, she didn’t know what kind of magic Michael had, but she was sure that he was the sole reason for her being able to be there with him right now. “I need to try to find her first… before…”
Michael nodded his head. He completely understood. “I just don’t want our lives to become solely about that.”
“Adam would try to tell us that we should,” Nikita retorted as she swallowed and looked at Michael. “But Adam won’t let us solely focus on that search. He is going to be a handful.”
“He already is,” Michael replied as he shook his head slightly. “I didn’t want our holiday to become about this, Kita.”
Nikita shifted and leaned against Michael’s body again as he leaned against the wooden headboard. Nikita kissed Michael’s lips gently and then looked towards the wall. “Can I admit something else?”
“Of course.”
Nikita pulled the sheets over Michael and swallowed once more. “I can’t wait until after New Year’s to start searching for her.”
Michael looked at Nikita and she stared back at him. “I didn’t start yet, Michael… but I can’t wait.”
“I don’t want you to get consumed…”
“I won’t,” Nikita replied back and Michael believed her for the moment, but he knew that he was going to have to watch her. She easily overdid it with the cookies and he could see Nikita quickly getting in so deep into the search.
“I’m going to help you.”
Nikita smiled and nodded her head. “I expected that help.”
The words stopped for a while as Nikita settled in against Michael. Then she started to move her legs against his bare legs. He glanced at Nikita as her hands drifted from his chest and to his stomach. “Kita…”
“What?” Nikita questioned as she naughtily looked at Michael as she didn’t stop her hand from drifting downward.
“I thought you didn’t want too…”
“That was last night.”
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