| Subject: Priority Mail 269 |
Author:
Nikita507
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Date Posted: Tuesday, June 21, 06:41:06pm
In reply to:
Nikita507
's message, "Priority Mail 268+" on Sunday, June 19, 04:50:40pm
Nikita leaned her head back so that it floated in the water in the tub. She could be spending this hour before Michael went to retrieve Adam with Michael, but she needed his break. She loved how her head felt as it floated in the water. It felt perfect.
Her body was so relaxed because of the time that she had spent with Michael. For now, her mind drifted from random thought to random thought, nothing very important at all. She looked up at the ceiling and exhaled as she ran her hand through her hair.
”Hey baby…. Come here and sit with your mother…” Roberta spoke as she reached her arms out for her. Nikita looked at her mother and rolled her eyes. “My name is Nikita.”
“But you’re my baby,” Roberta replied back as she got Nikita in her arms. “You are only eight… not too old to be held by me.”
Nikita settled in her mother’s arms, wondering if she was going to stay this way or if this was just a temporary thing. She had gotten a job this time and they had a small apartment for the moment. It never lasted long, but Nikita wanted to hope that this was the time that it stayed.
“You know… you would have loved my mother and father…” Roberta’s voice cracked as she looked at her daughter. “My mother… she loved to cook… and dote… I left because of the doting… and I could never live up to what they wanted… and at times… they were too much in love with each other… that they didn’t have time for me.”
Nikita looked at her mother and blinked her eyes. “I have grandparents?”
“They don’t know about you… they wrote me off once I left… they probably think I’m dead,” Roberta shrugged her shoulders. “I’m sure that they are happier that way.”
Nikita looked to the window and then back to Roberta. “Tell me about them?”
“They were perfect,” Roberta bitterly snapped before shaking her head from side to side. “My father worked in the mills… worked hard… believed in hard work… believed a woman’s place was at home…”
“But did he love you?” Nikita inquired and Roberta turned away and swallowed hard. “When I was good… yeah…”
Nikita looked down at the floor. Her mother was like that. She loved Nikita when it suited her.
“I knew that I would never have a relationship like they had… they were a strong united front… they knew how to end each other’s sentence… I couldn’t play them off of each other… and the world revolved around the other for each of them… two halves of the same part…” Roberta shook her head. “I didn’t want that…”
“Why can’t I know them?” Nikita inquired and Roberta chuckled. “They’d probably hate you… I’m the thing that was wrong in their life… but of course you’d think they are great… everything that I’m not…”
Nikita didn’t reply and she squirmed. “I want to go read…”
Nikita looked up at the ceiling as the memory drifted away and she wasn’t left with a feeling of dread from the feeling. Her mind started to think things that she had never thought about – in different ways. Maybe it was possible to have a relationship with someone, be married to them, and have it be right for each other. Maybe Roberta couldn’t have a family, but maybe Nikita could. Obviously her grandparents had a relationship with each other that had stood the time of whatever had happened with Roberta. Nikita could only wonder what Roberta did before she left.
Then Nikita wondered if it was at all possible, that her grandparents were still alive. They would be rather elderly, but they could be alive.
Nikita never knew their names. But she guessed that it was feasible. She didn’t even remember ever talking about them with her mother until today. It couldn’t have been a common topic at all.
Then Nikita shifted and blinked her eyes, wondering why she was remembering this conversation right now and what did it mean.
Her heart started to race as the thoughts started to happen but she couldn’t clearly hold onto one train of thought. She wanted to explore them, but instead in trying to do that, her heart started to race more. She was almost ready to cry out when she took a deep breath.
And remembered that this was when Beatrice said to call her.
Nikita didn’t hesitate. She got out of the bathtub and pulled on the robe. She pulled her hair up into a towel and walked right to the bedroom. Michael turned in the chair and smiled. “That was quick.”
“Call Beatrice,” Nikita spoke as she knew that right now she couldn’t call her. She sat down on the edge and Michael jumped to his feet. “What’s wrong? Let’s talk, Nikita…”
“Beatrice,” Ni8kita spoke as she locked eyes with Michael. These were the rules for now and she needed Beatrice. She had a sense that this was the moment that some of those cards would get handled and she needed the sounding board, the right sounding board, right now.
“Of course…” Michael turned as he walked across the room.
Nikita exhaled as she rubbed her knees, her thoughts still jumbled, but not feeling as if she was going to lose it.
Maybe, just maybe, she was going to gain something more once she talked this out.
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