| Subject: Priority Mail 271 (I expect some comments about this chapter....) |
Author:
Nikita507
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Date Posted: Saturday, June 25, 04:43:29pm
In reply to:
Nikita507
's message, "Priority Mail 268+" on Sunday, June 19, 04:50:40pm
Nikita looked up as she pulled the robe around her neck a bit more. She had pulled her hair up with a clip into a loose bun and had just finished a cup of tea. Beatrice paused as she came close to the table. “Is there more tea?”
“Yes,” Nikita nodded her head up and down. “I was going to get more… sit down… I’ll get it for both of us.”
“Ridiculous. I can get it for both of us,” Beatrice replied as she took Nikita’s tea cup up from the table and moved to the table. She looked around and Nikita cleared her throat. “Cupboard to the right.”
Beatrice smiled as she opened up the door and pulled out another cup and looked at Nikita. “These are cute.”
“I got them for Christmas,” Nikita answered and Beatrice poured the tea out of the pot and saw that it was nearly empty. “Let me get some water on and put it on low… so if we want more…”
Nikita nodded her head as she folded back the sleeves of her robe. She watched Beatrice and looked down the hallway. “I heard Adam come in just before you… you met Walter.”
“I’m not here for me,” Beatrice knowingly winked as she put the kettle on the stove and walked over with the tea. “But yes… I saw him briefly. He probably is going to stay out on the porch with Michael. But that shouldn’t rush you at all.”
Nikita shook her head as she put her hands around the cup. “He can do what he wants to do. He is a grown adult.”
Beatrice pulled out the chair and sat down. She took her time to stir in just a dash of cream and sugar before taking a sip. She settled her cup down and tilted her head to the side. “You almost look content, Nikita.”
Nikita blinked her eyes and shrugged her shoulders slightly. “I’m not sure… but it feels like some things are clearer than before… other things are still foggy… and I worry that I might think something is a memory when it really is just… a mind game.”
Beatrice took in the words and didn’t immediately respond. She watched as Nikita took a sip of tea, plain, and then put the cup down. “I’m not going to ask you questions just with that. You are going to have to pick where you want to start to talk.”
Nikita considered the statement and her shoulders relaxed slightly. “I don’t have to start with the hard stuff?”
“I’m here for what you need. Do you need to start with the hard stuff?”
“No,” Nikita shook her head from side to side. She then proceeded to talk about how the night prior had been enjoyable and how she was taking a bath, not expecting anything but to ease slightly achy muscles. She didn’t find it hard to talk to Beatrice and Nikita tilted her head to the side. “I need to skip ahead to right now… because… I think where I’m at right now is important to say out loud… before I think about it too much more…”
“You are guiding this conversation, Nikita,” Beatrice pointed out again after placing her tea down. She was intrigued with where this was going. Nikita didn’t seem to be getting more nervous. If anything, she seemed a bit surer with herself. That was a change.
“I have hope…” Nikita announced with a slightly shrug of her shoulders. She knew that she had to explain. “I was waiting for you to come… and I was thinking a lot… about things I thought I would continue to never change my mind on…”
“I need a bit more,” Beatrice led Nikita on because there wasn’t anything specific here and Nikita did need to get to that point.
Nikita swallowed and looked over her shoulder. “I know that in the cards that you have for me… there are things about trust… and family… and marriage…”
Beatrice nodded her head slightly, not sure what was going on right now.
Nikita looked over her shoulder and then back to Beatrice. “Michael wants to marry me…. He said that he wouldn’t give up on that… even when I point out that I don’t think we are the kind to marry… that we’ve both had fake marriages…”
Beatrice watched as Nikita turned the tea cup on the table and she shrugged her shoulders. “I wouldn’t say yes right now… too much of me believes that this is all that I need… but I have hope now… that I might change that position… in the future… that maybe… it would be possible for marriage to represent something happy and good in my life.”
That was not what Beatrice was expecting, but it was not something that Beatrice thought was just a fleeting thought in Nikita’s mind. It was because Nikita felt the need to speak it out for her to hear that made Beatrice hopeful that this was an honest opening to that discussion. But this wasn’t just about that. “What led to those thoughts?”
Nikita hesitated and twisted her hands together. “That’s what I’m kind of concerned about… being a false memory… but I don’t remember a lot from when I was a child… when I was with Roberta.”
“Your mother.”
“Roberta,” Nikita corrected as she shook her head from side to side. Beatrice reached out and grabbed Nikita’s hands. “You may call her Roberta right now… that’s your adult brain talking… but when you were a child, that was your mother… your mom… mommy… no matter how bad it was.”
Nikita swallowed hard and rubbed her hand across her face after pulling it out from Beatrice’s hands. “I… I never thought about her parents… she never talked about them.”
“Except now…” Beatrice spoke as she placed her hands back in the lap, knowing that her point was made and that Nikita was not going to speak to it at this time.
Nikita nodded her head up and down. “I was older… but not too old… because I was still sort of listening to her… and she was going thru a good spell… when things were looking up.”
Nikita pulled at the robe and crossed her arms defensively across her chest. “She pulled me up to tell me about her parents… and how they loved each other too much…”
Nikita turned her head to the side and rubbed her hands along her knee as she pulled her legs up onto the chair. “I guess since I never thought about them… that I thought that they must have been the same to her as she was to me… that I was a hindrance to her life… I thought that they treated her that way… and she said that they loved each other too much for her…”
“What does this all mean to you?” Beatrice asked and Nikita’s head jerked slightly. There was a slight shrugging of her shoulders, but Nikita stopped before she said that she didn’t know. She looked at Beatrice and coughed slightly to clear her throat.
“I want to know the real story,” Nikita announced as she nodded her head up and down slightly. “I used to believe that I was from a long line of… no marriage… so that it made more sense that I wasn’t supposed to settle down... get married… that it was better to be not married… But she said her parents loved each other too much… and I wonder if that is a danger of marriage… or if it was something more than loving each other too much that happened to Roberta.”
“What’s more important?” Beatrice inquired and Nikita blinked her eyes. “What?”
“You have a lot going on in your life… you are searching for your daughter… now you are going to look for your grandparents? They may not even be alive.”
“But they would have left a story,” Nikita pointed out as she leaned forward while dropping her legs. “And I don’t have another job right now.”
“Are you going to look for them and give up on this work? Plus, aren’t you working with Whitney still?” Beatrice asked and Nikita wrinkled her nose. “Why are you against this?”
“I’m not,” Beatrice shook her head from side to side. “I want to see if you have thought about all of this.”
“And more,” Nikita replied as she shook her head slightly. “I have thought about how I could approach either of them if they are alive… I wondered if they knew that Roberta had a child… and that child was supposed to have died in jail… or if they even know that Roberta is dead… and I wonder if they even care and they don’t want to learn about her… I have thought about how I could talk to them if they are alive… that maybe Walter would be able to help me… and what I would tell them… that I was some sort of… friend… I don’t know those things… but I have thought about a lot of things since I got out of that tub…”
“But that hasn’t been the only thing you have thought about…”
“No,” Nikita shook her head. “I thought about my daughter… and how it would be important to know what happened with Roberta’s parents… so maybe she wouldn’t have the wrong information… that I think I’ve had… “
“And?” Beatrice asked and Nikita looked over her shoulder. “Michael.”
Beatrice leaned back slightly as she pushed her tea cup away and could sense that the kettle was getting almost hot enough to whistle. She had also set it as a way to set a time for a break because she knew that Nikita could get so emotionally invested in a conversation that there needed to be breaks. But this would be bad timing right now.
“What about Michael?”
“I don’t think I’d say no,” Nikita whispered as she looked at Beatrice.
Beatrice was stunned. Absolutely stunned and she didn’t know what to say.
And then the tea kettle started to whistle.
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