| Subject: Priority Mail 91 |
Author:
Nikita507
|
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
Date Posted: Friday, December 17, 11:34:56pm
In reply to:
Nikita507
's message, "Priority Mail 88+" on Thursday, December 16, 05:25:15pm
Nikita had been awake for a while, but she had stayed in the bed, her mind rippling through so many thoughts, memories, worries, plans, and so many other things that she just wanted her mind to stop. She was sure that it would just help if it would just slow down.
As the door opened, Nikita turned her head to see Michael walking in. He shoved his hands into his jeans as he sat down on the edge of the bed, close to Nikita. He stayed quiet for a real long time, just looking at Nikita as she sized him up. She parted her lips many times to say something, but she didn’t.
Finally, Michael pulled out his hands and held the other bottle of medicine. He rolled it around in his hands while he stared at it and then looked to Nikita. “I want you to start taking this, Kita.”
Nikita looked like he had slapped her. He didn’t like that look at all. But he swallowed hard to continue on. “I’m sure that your mind is running in all sorts of directions… Everyone can see it.”
Nikita tried to push his hands away from her. Michael shook his head from side to side. “I know that you went through something that no one else had to… and I’m sure that I’ll never fully understand what you felt and what you struggled with. But we all have those things… I had it when I was suddenly outside of Section One, leaving behind the one person I knew that I ever truly loved and with the one person that would make me leave that one person behind… my son.”
Michael clutched the bottle and then opened his hand as he stared at the bottle. “I wasn’t doing a good job. I was miserable. Finally one day Adam asked me why I was always sad.”
The look of Adam’s face when he looked up at his father and asked that question made Michael react. Michael rubbed his face. It had been a long time since he had to think to those days. “I had to do something for him. I found a therapist… and they have me a medicine… this one, actually.”
Michael pushed his hand back towards Nikita. “You are lucky… because I couldn’t talk about the truth of what haunted my dreams… but the medicine allowed me the time to slow down and clear out what was in my head.”
Nikita was listening to him and Michael was grateful. She needed to truly hear what he was saying. Michael even felt slightly guilty for not telling Nikita sooner. Maybe he could have avoided some of the pain that she had been putting herself thru. “You can talk to us about the truth… and talking is going to help, no matter how painful it is. But the medicine… it takes that sharp pain that is twisting inside of your gut when you think of things… and it dulls it slightly. Just enough so you can address it and start to heal. And you are going to heal, Kita.”
Nikita sat up in bed and touched Michael’s face. “Michael… I don’t know if I’m coming or going… and at times… it’s like I’m back in those moments.”
“I know that feeling,” Michael nodded his head up and down. “Please, Kita… trust me with this. It’s not just Dr. Hlad thinking this will help… I think it will help.”
Nikita twisted her hands in the sheet as she looked at Michael with tear filled eyes. “What if it doesn’t?”
“We cross that bridge when it happens. But doing nothing is not helping you.”
Nikita leaned her head back against the wall. She covered her face with her trembling hands. Slowly she dropped them and she shrugged her shoulders. “I just… don’t know…”
“Don’t know what?”
Nikita looked right at Michael. “If I deserve relief.”
Michael moved closer to Nikita and took her hands. He pressed the bottle into the hands. “It’s not about if you deserve it... because I don’t know if that will ever change in your head… but it is about what you want out of life from here on out… If you want to continue to be like this… then don’t take it.”
“So you’ll leave,” Nikita rasped and Michael shook his head.”I’m not leaving you.”
“You’d stay even if I don’t take this medicine?” Nikita inquired and Michael jerked his head up and down. “I would… we wouldn’t have a chance at ever finding happiness… but I wouldn’t leave you. I would fear that you would leave me.”
“Why?”
“You told me last night… how you thought about turning that knife on yourself… I fear that if you don’t do anything, that sometime in the future… you’d leave by doing something like that,” Michael admitted as he pulled his hands away, leaving the bottle in Nikita’s hands.
For a long time, Michael waited. Nikita was thinking about it. She looked up at Michael and finally opened the bottle. She swallowed one pill dry and blinked her eyes as she looked right back at Nikita.
“I’ve called Davenport,” Michael admitted as he continued to sit there. “He is going to come here and take the possible materials with the DNA sample back to the house… and we are going to go to a hotel.”
“WE should just go back,” Nikita spoke as she shivered. Michael leaned forward and rubbed Nikita’s bare arms. “You need a break from that house. And you just need me to focus on you for a while. No distractions.”
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
| |
Feedback: 