| Subject: Priority Mail 152 |
Author:
Nikita507
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Date Posted: Sunday, January 30, 07:24:21pm
In reply to:
Nikita507
's message, "Priority Mail 148+" on Thursday, January 27, 08:17:10pm
Every cell seemed to scream with aches and pains as she moved her head to the side. The light was bright and her eyes seemed so dry. Nikita fought against the desire to keep her eyes closed and opened them wider to figure out why she felt like she was in a deep heavy fog.
The shapes were fuzzy at first but Nikita could tell that she was covered in bed and that someone was moving off the side. Slowly her mind started to identify that the blanket was the one that was on the bed that was Michael’s and she saw his hair first. She allowed her eyes to start taking in more details as she moved her legs and felt the vibrations all the way up her spine and into the back of her head.
She must have gasped because Michael turned as he finished pulling the jeans up his legs. He neatly buttoned them and looked at Nikita but he didn’t say a word. Nikita’s eyes read over the lines of his body, seeing the bright purple bruises that were scattered across his back, side and chest. She moved her fingers and felt pain there and realization. “No.”
“I’m fine,” Michael spoke as he reached for a black long sleeve t-shirt and pulled it over his head. Nikita pushed her arms out and felt the stuffing that seemed to be packed into her head was starting to clear. It was an odd feeling and Nikita looked at him. “You drugged me.”
“Yes,” Michael nodded his head up and down. “You needed to sleep.”
“With what?” Nikita inquired as she managed to rub a hand over her face and noticed the bandage that had been wrapped around her knuckles.
“Something strong,” Michael spoke as he stood there and leaned against the dresser. “You’ve been asleep almost thirty-six hours.”
Nikita frowned and pushed her body up some more. That was happening as she recognized that some of the bruises that she had seen where matches to her hands. “I hurt you.”
“You were working through some things,” Michael turned his head slightly to the side. “You were really upset about me not being there for you.”
Nikita shivered as she felt so exposed at the moment. It was the way that Michael said it that told her that the secret that she thought she was hiding was found out. “Ah… I told you that?”
“About how I went to a mall the day that you had tried to make contact about the baby, yeah,” Michael nodded his head up and down as he continued to keep the distance. “I haven’t let you out of my sight since I got you home.”
“Home?”
“You were staying in an apartment across from Rhoda but I couldn’t let you stay there… because I was going to be with you,” Michael answered calmly as he folded his hands at about his waist.
Nikita pushed her body again and cringed with pain. “Ah… and you have been with me while I slept?”
“I took you downstairs when I wanted to eat… I took you into the bathroom while I showered… I didn’t trust anyone else with you after I cleaned you up in the shower. You don’t remember, do you?” Michael asked as he pushed away from the dresser. Nikita looked at him and she started to rub her arms. She swallowed back a feeling of bile on her stomach while blinking back tears. “It feels like a nightmare.”
“Why?”
“I never meant to tell you,” Nikita rasped as she looked down at the blanket and then she seemed to shrink. “Adam…”
“He is fine, Kita,” Michael spoke as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Why weren’t you planning on telling me?”
“There was no reason too,” Nikita blinked as she looked at Michael. “I don’t know why I did like that.”
“I pushed you,” Michael answered as he sat there and looked at Nikita. It was when she looked up at him with her big blue eyes that Michael sighed while touching her. “Because you had to let me know because I think this was tearing you apart inside.”
“Michael…”
“No,” Michael shook his head. “I don’t want you to censor yourself on things like this, Kita. You have to let me know what you are thinking and feeling about, even if you are worried about how I am going to react. You don’t need to keep things in small compartments any longer.”
They both stared at each other because they had many talks about the need to compartmentalize their lives while in Section. They both knew that it was a goal that they had to participate in. To take parts of whom they were and safeguard them deep within their psyche so that it couldn’t be touched.
“It took me a long time, Kita,” Michael spoke as he continued to touch her. “It’s not easy at all to open up and to not live with parts of yourself hidden so far back that you almost forget about them.”
“How did you do it?” Nikita’s voice cracked as she looked at Michael. She touched his hands and released them from her legs that she started to bend even with new pain crossing her body.
“I had promised Adam that I would tell him the truth. He often was the smart boy calling his father out on lies,” Michael revealed gently as he continued to look at Nikita. “I’m sure that I have some… some compartments… that still need emptied out. I’m sure that I’m going to do that now that you are here.”
Nikita leaned her head back slightly. She used to think that she couldn’t live a divided life when people in Section said she would. Nikita hadn’t even recognized that she had been living a divided life even before she was recruited into Section. It was just once she started to recognize that she was able to function with parts of her hidden away it almost became too easy for her to do that. “It scares me.”
“I think a lot scares you,” Michael replied back quickly as he stood up. “Ultimately, you are scared that you are going to do something or say something that is going to drive me away. That isn’t going to happen.”
“Michael…”
“Someday, you’ll realize when I say that, that I mean it,” Michael continued as he stood there for a while. He turned and pulled out a heavy gray jogging suit. “You’ll want something warmer to come downstairs.”
Nikita watched as Michael dropped the clothes on her feet. “It snowed overnight… and you need to eat.”
She was processing what Michael was saying and she still was so sore. “I’m not hungry.”
“You were asleep for thirty-six hours, Kita,” Michael commented as he stood there again by the dresser. “You have to eat.”
Nikita touched the fabric and started to move her legs out from under the blankets. She shivered and Michael tilted his head to the side. “I told you that it was cooler today. It snowed.”
“Snowed?” Nikita questioned as she rubbed her hand along her face. “I don’t feel good.”
“Food will help with that,” Michael suggested as he rolled his shoulders back and shoved his hands into his pockets. He waited as Nikita struggled as she sat on the edge. She looked up at Michael and then her hands opened up and dropped the pants. “Michael...”
He was beside her as the tears that had been threatening to fall started to fall. He hugged her carefully as he just was there. He didn’t say a word and he didn’t even try to whisper anything to comfort her. Maybe this was grief and maybe it was something else. But Michael held his assessment as Nikita was tender in her sobs and she soon pulled away. She wiped her own face while looking at him. “There was a ring?”
Michael swallowed as he nodded his head. “Adam shouldn’t have shown you that.”
“Because?” Nikita stumbled over the question. Michael swiped at Nikita’s hair that he had spent so much time combing out while she was asleep. “Because I bought that at a time that I didn’t know that I would see you again… and it wouldn’t be the ring that I would buy you now.”
Nikita looked over to the side and closed her eyes. “Ours are in my box.”
Michael got down on his knees and slipped Nikita’s sock-covered feet into the pants and started to pull the soft terry material over her calves and up to her knees. “Those were rings for when we were Peter…“
“Stop! They were our rings,” Nikita spoke and Michael shook his head. “We both knew that they were props. And I would never take a promise of a life together if it means I have to ask you to obey.”
Nikita pushed her body up and Michael watched as she swayed while finishing the job of putting the pants on that he started. She remained standing as Michael stood up to look into her eyes. “I would want nothing of the old to taint us now, Kita. We both deserve that.”
“Do we?” Nikita rasped as she turned and grabbed the shirt. That was when she saw that she was in Michael’s t-shirt and she blinked her eyes. “You give me too much credit, Michael.”
“You don’t give yourself enough,” Michael warned as he shook his head. He placed a hand on her hip and offered balance while Nikita looked like she was ready to sink to the bed again. She finished dressing and looked at Michael. “Are you hurt?”
“Superficial, Kita. Superficial.”
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