| Subject: Priority Mail 55 |
Author:
Nikita507
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Date Posted: Monday, November 15, 11:26:52pm
In reply to:
Nikita507
's message, "Priority Mail 50+" on Saturday, November 13, 12:37:29pm
Adam walked down the stairs from his room. He was done with his homework for the night and he was tired of what was going on in the house now for the second week. He couldn’t believe that Nikita was still not talking and that his father was just letting it happen.
And Adam blamed his father.
He had heard enough conversations between everyone to know what Nikita needed. She needed to see that she was safe and Adam was ready to do that. He knew that Nikita talked to him the most and it made Adam smile with that thought.
“Hi Nikita,” Adam walked into the living room and stood in the middle. Nikita waved her hand as she was sitting on the couch, looking towards the television but really not watching the Bad Girls Club that was on right now. Adam shifted and smiled again. “My dad taught me a lot of things… Can I show you some of what he taught me?”
Nikita nodded her head up and down slightly. Adam waited, feeling that Nikita would talk. “Sure, Adam.”
Adam shifted back on his right leg and shifted his arms into a karate stance. “I wasn’t that good at first… I was all limbs and not balance…”
Leaning back, Adam showed an elegant kick and he smiled happily. “He first taught me out to defend myself… My dad said that defending myself was the most important thing to learn first.”
Nikita didn’t look so happy at Adam. Nikita in fact, felt like she was getting sick looking at Adam. He was robbed of his childhood as he was moving through the warm-up routine that Nikita had learned years and years ago under the instruction of Michael. Her arms twitched as she watched Adam bow and then squat low to do a quick snapping kick.
“Defend self,” Nikita muttered as she nodded her head up and down. She closed her eyes for a moment and she could hear Michael saying those two words over and over again. He had to have said them at least a million times in those first months.
Adam paused and nodded his head up and down. “Yeah… I learned that really well and several years ago we started to go over how I can protect others…”
Nikita swallowed hard and looked at Adam. It was surreal.
“He said that I’m really good at protecting others now,” Adam gloated gently as he pushed his black straight hair behind his ears before doing the next kick for Nikita. “And I know that you aren’t yourself right now… and I want you to know that I can protect you too… just like my dad is trying to protect you…”
Nikita pulled her hands in front of her mouth as she curled her legs towards her body. Her mind was lost with what Adam was saying. Instead, she was thinking of something else.
How a parent should protect their child.
Nikita could feel the sensation on her arms of holding her daughter. Her un-named daughter that she had held and then gave to Walter. The little infant that was so small for the fact that Nikita couldn’t get proper treatment for her pregnancy. The daughter that she had Walter escape out of the walls of Section One within an hour of being born, never to know her mother.
That small baby that Nikita should have protected because it was Michael’s child. Her daughter. Their daughter. Was in her arms for not long enough. Her daughter, their daughter, that she had hidden away and pretended as if nothing had happened.
Then it was the memories of everyone else that she had shuttled out of Section One. She knew that she had tried to find a way to protect them all in ways that she couldn’t do for others – ways that she couldn’t do herself. Nikita would hurt. That was what she deserved for what she had done to her daughter, their daughter.
Adam stopped and looked at Nikita. Her arms were shaking and he stepped forward. “Nikita… please don’t be worried… I’m big enough to protect you. You don’t have to worry about things right now. I can be on the watch out for whatever is going on. I can be strong for both of us.”
Her mind was acting as if it was stuck in a strobe light. She couldn’t stop the memories and the thoughts. Nikita didn’t want to lose the control that she wanted to hold onto. The tears were leaking from her eyes as her entire body trembled with the effort of trying not to sob loudly out loud.
Adam stepped back. “Dad!”
He knew that something was wrong looking at Nikita. He had only wanted to show Nikita what his father had been able to teach him because he got his father back. “He said that he taught me like he taught you, Nikita… that he was able to be a good teacher because you taught him to be a good teacher…”
Nikita gritted her teeth together. She just wanted to get thru this conversation so that Adam would leave. But her grasp of what was going on was waning quickly. She didn’t have control and her head was pounding with the effort of holding things back. Nikita squeezed her eyes tightly shut and she saw her daughter in her arms just for those few minutes before handing her over to Walter.
What kind of mother does that?
Michael was calling out to Adam a question about what was going on at the same moment that the last hold of the control broke. The shout was loud and vibrated in the whole house for a long time as the tears just poured from her face. “Michael!”
Michael hurried into the room as Adam was shaking his head and pale as a bed sheet. But Michael wasn’t looking for Adam. He had never heard that kind of scream from Nikita before. It was as if she thought the world was going to end on her. He turned quickly on his heels and was pulling the broken down Nikita into his arms with a flash.
“Dad… I just wanted to tell her that I would protect her… like you taught me too…” Adam rushed to explain. Michael rocked Nikita as he held her tightly. He didn’t know what she was thinking, but he did not think that anything good could have come about by Adam telling Nikita that he was going to protect her. No adult ever wanted to hear a child say that.
“I have this, Adam,” Michael spoke in a firm voice that caused Adam to disappear from the room quickly. His son was shaken, but that wasn’t the biggest issue right now. Michael could barely hold Nikita’s body from shaking into the pieces that she was threatening to fall into. He whispered against her head as he rocked her, trying to sooth her and bring her to some sort of peace for the moment.
As it was, there was nothing that he could do right now but make sure that in whatever this was, she didn’t hurt herself.
Her mind was releasing everything and she was bombarded with memories of her daughter. Those moments of holding her. Those moments of looking down at her barely round stomach and knowing that it was her love for Michael that made that happen. It was the feeling of her daughter kicking her. The pain of watching Walter usher her out. The acknowledgement that she had made it so that she couldn’t track her – so no one could track her.
“I… didn’t… protect…” Nikita sobbed out as she was shaking so hard. “her…”
Michael felt his heart twist in pain. “Kita…. You did the only thing that you could have done to protect our daughter…”
It did nothing to change Nikita’s behavior right now. Michael felt his own tears coming to his eyes. “I would have done the same thing, Kita… it was the only way to make sure that she lived… you were in a situation that no one should ever have been in… it was the only decision that you could make…”
Michael rubbed at Nikita’s back, hoping that she couldn’t continue to sob like this for too long. She was so rolled up on herself and her body was jerking around so roughly that it was only going to hurt her for hours if not days later.
“You were braver than I would have been, Kita,” Michael rasped as he pressed his head down on the back of Nikita’s back. “I wouldn’t have had the strength to hold her at all… I wouldn’t have been able to do what was necessary… to get her out of Section… I wouldn’t have been able to do that in order to protect her… you were so brave in the face of what was going on… it was the only thing you could have done… you did protect her… you did…”
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